One of the most amazing thing about tongue splits is that they heal crazy fucking fast, have no long term risks, and have the highest satisfaction rate of any body modification out there. They heal faster than tongue piercings — and probably faster than any other modification with the exception of tattoos — and they’re not going to chip your teeth. That said, it does require skilled hands to do it right. While it is true that nightmare incompetent tongue splits by DIY home doctors tend to be survivable and heal just fine, they’re playing with fire and at a minimum you’ll have way more pain, fear, and there’s a solid chance you won’t get as good looking or deep of a split. It is the sort of thing you should want to do responsibly. Don’t take my comment on how easily it heals and how happy people are with them to mean you can have your dog do it, even if he is very well-trained border collie.

This example was done by the fully human Gladix at On Edge Piercing & Tattooing in The Hague, with beautifully clean looking suturing. Only seven days later and Tirza’s tongue split looks incredible. Nice and deep, perfectly rounded edges without any scarring. Superb work. I should mention that even though the tongue split looks completely healed at this point, but it could take a few weeks more before it can truly be considered fully healed.