And finally, folks, here are some soothing suspension shots from the good people with Ascension Suspension. Up top (and, of course, after the jump) is the lovely Mindi Kaiser, swingin’ away, surrounded by birch trees in Jemez Springs in New Mexico, and captured in these beautiful photos by Melissa Shephard. It’s hard to imagine this wasn’t a great experience.
[YouTube] Ha ha, so, you guys are all familiar with vampiric fashionista Christian Audigier and his fancy line of premium Ed Hardy T-shirts/underpants/bed sheets/catheters/crack pipes/etc., yes? These tattoo-culture-appropriating items haven’t been particularly popular among some of the, shall we say, more thoughtful fans of body modification, but finally, there is a trio of men brave enough to stand up to this corporate nightmare, via an old-fashioned rap diss track. Hooray! Andy Milonakis, Dirt Nasty and Rich Hill have joined forces to craft this masterpiece of the modern age, succinctly titled, “Fuck Ed Hardy.” We were kind of hoping this would have been the straw to break the camel’s back and sent Audigier on trip inside his psyche, questioning his motives and finally renouncing the dumb clothes he’s been making a mint off of, but apparently he just chuckled and then went about his day, unfortunately. Oh well. Even still, this is worth it just for the line, “It looks like a dragon threw up on your dick.” Oh yeah, NSFW, etc.
[WSMV] Look, we don’t know how many times we have to tell you that, above all else, BME is for the children—we are saying it constantly, in auditoriums and bodegas around the country, basically to anybody who will listen, and still our advice goes ignored, time and time again. So let us just say this one more time: temporary tattoos are trying to kill your children. Remember? Remember? This has happened at least three times now: Some innocent kid gets some low-grade henna at the mall or something and it ends up burning the shit out of them, permanently, and only once did the kid’s parents have the foresight to give him the bad-ass name “Cannon Cribb.” These other youngsters? Shit outta luck. Here’s the latest tale, straight out of Nashville:
An 11-year-old girl who recently received a temporary tattoo at an Opry Mills mall kiosk was left with painful and permanent scars.
The child’s mother said it was meant to be a simple symbol of softball team spirit, but her daughter was left scarred and burned.
[…]
“Each time a blister would bust, another one would form,” said the child’s mother, Tammy.
[…]
[The family’s attorney] believes the girl’s injuries point to a type of henna known as black henna. It’s a chemical the FDA won’t allow for the temporary tattoos because it can cause this type of reaction.
[…]
“She has a lot of kids that’ll ask her, ‘Oh, you got a tattoo.’ And she has to go and explain, ‘No, I don’t. This is what happened to me,’” said Tammy. “I don’t want any more kids to get hurt.”
How many more children will automatically become the coolest kids in their school before this menace is stopped? Seriously though, whoever the mutants are who are just painting kids with this poison willy-nilly, you are worse than Mecha-Hitler.
[Twitter] And finally, the Meghan McCain Reality Tour keeps on truckin’! The almost-first-daughter of yesteryear has been known to display something of an “independence streak,” often talking about how much she loves the ol’ counter-culture, which is probably very troubling to her poor family. Below is a recent “tweet” missive of hers, in which she does nothing to dissuade us of the theory that her Twitter account is ghost-written by Marisa from Needles and Sins. (Kidding! Kidding! Love you, Marisa!)
Hey now, our old pal Anders has checked in from, we don’t know, somewhere amongst the spheres and galaxies, to show us this intense skin-removal piece he performed two months ago. Of course, scars are still apt to change beyond two months into healing, but sweet sassy molassy, this is shaping up beautifully. This is why, if you can help it, you always go to an alien for your various body modification needs, at least when you’re in Broadbeach, Gold Coast, Australia. Close-up shots, after the jump.
Ha, so, is it just me or have the comments been a touch more vitriolic this week than they have been in a while? Well, no matter—let’s all take a load off with this nicely stippled slice of mystic pizza (the food, not the poor-man’s Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, that is) by Simon Erl at Hope and Glory in Swaffham, Norfolk, England, who was last seen riling folks up with this radical propaganda. This, though? This is the pizza that the Illuminati eats, when the New World Order assembles to plan the next few hundred years of human existence, in space. Now that’s a spicy pedigree.
Good morning, folks! Let’s start off our day with this shot of Loki and his wife, Jannet, coming straight to us from St. Petersburg, Russia, with love. Lovely, right? It takes a strong bond for a couple to commit to matching hair cuts, but these two? This right here is nothing if not a power couple. And so the Old Country’s incredible ModBlog streak continues!
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