You know what one of the best things about working at BME is? Occasionally, you’ll look at your e-mail inbox and see an e-mail with a subject line like “Lesbian Vampires.” Under normal circumstances, this would be nothing — probably spam advertising a Transylvanian boner pill or perhaps some sort of zaftig pyramid scheme (“The bloodthirsty queen of the island of Lesbos would like to lend you some money!”). But here? You see that title and you think to yourself, “You know what? I bet I’m gonna open this up and there are gonna be some lesbian vampires in there,” and sure enough, bam. Lesbian vampires. What a country.
BARRIE — A local Barrie, Ont., man was accosted today by American country-western singer Toby Keith, who was allegedly following through on his pledge to “put a boot in the ass” of anyone who “messed with the U.S. of A.”
“It was weird,” said the victim, who wished to remain anonymous. “I was with some friends at the bar, and we were giving the bartender a hard time because they ran out of Molson and he suggested MGD, right? And then this guy in a cowboy hat burst through the door and just started cold kickin’ folks in their rears. I definitely got it the worst, though.” After being provided with a photo array, the victim confirmed that the assailant was, in fact, Keith.
Eyewitnesses say that Keith was actually putting his boots on rather than in peoples’ asses, as evidenced above. It is not known whether Keith will return to continue his reign of terror.
Hey, don’t look so scared! I know IAM: lunar looks like he’s gonna cut you, but really, he just wants to make you some breakfast! So, you know, relax. (Just kidding, oh my God will he cut you. He will cut you so bad.)
[Alana G.] The very talented Alana (nee Miss Gossip) just caught up with Rasheed Wallace of the Detroit Pistons who, in addition to requiring technical fouls for sustenance, has dedicated his entire back to tattoo tributes to his daughter. Sheed’s one of the league’s most intense, confrontational, and generally downright crazy players (in a good way), so this sort of measured and gentle discussion is an interesting counterpoint to that. Not bad tattoo work, either. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the cuteness there, because …
OK, much better. So, this is the story of a woman with a psychological disorder that led to an obsession with plastic surgery that escalated to the point that she got so much work done over a 20-year period that she was unrecognizable even to her own family. She was briefly treated for this disorder, but fairly quickly fell back into her “old ways,” finding a doctor that not only agreed to give her silicone shots into her face, but provided her with syringes and silicone so that she could continue to do the same by herself. The silicone ran out, however, and the woman began injecting herself with cooking oil. The result can be seen in a slideshow here.
There is definitely an element of the grotesque here: A traditionally attractive woman, likely addled by some sort of psychosis, becomes what many would describe as a monstrosity. Yet, with each additional round of surgery, as untamed scar tissue and various disfigurements piled up, she was continually pleased with what she perceived as an ongoing beautification process. Now, after having been made a spectacle of, she seems to agree with the people who have been trying to dissuade her, and claims she would just like her old face back.
Not to try to analyze the thought process of a person with such obvious and complex problems, nor to suggest that we should engage in any kind of insipid armchair-psychiatry, but this is a truly fascinating and sad story that, while not directly related to this community, certainly holds some cross-over appeal. How often do those outside of the body modification culture criticize those within it for lying to themselves about the inherent beauty in so many of these procedures? I’m not saying that this is by any means a valid comparison or that body modification as much of this community practices it is in any way analogous to the sort of psychological disorder that would lead a person to the lengths of the subject of the linked article, but it’s interesting to consider the parallels that an outsider may perceive, wrongheaded as they may be. That is all.
[Fade Fast] And as a nice pick-me-up, here’s a cute Flash ad from noted sell-out Allen Falkner (kidding!) for his tattoo removal company, Fade Fast. I don’t mean to give free advertising, this is just quite well done:
BME’s received photos like this in the past, and, if I’m not mistaken, this had been accomplished by running a tube through a urethral reroute and pumping whichever gas through, but I don’t think that’s the case here. It almost looks like some sort of device is just being placed in the urethra … but I can’t really tell. It could be going through a reverse-PA hole as well. Any piercers or amateur arsonists out there? There’s another photo after the jump, but above, as always, click through to de-Roo.
UPDATE! Roo claims this was done using a Prince’s Wand. I will take his word for it.
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