For all the people who have attacked me, for not featuring enough man meat on Modblog, I am proud to present Brian (IAM: perk900).

After we had our initial conversation on Skype, we messaged back and forth a bit on IAM to finalize some things. When I asked him if there was any last minute information he wanted me to include he humbly replied :

“That my dick is huge and that you can see it from space.”

And that my friends, is good enough for me.

Sure, there are  naked pictures on his IAM page, that would make his penis seem not quite visible by space, but until he post erect pictures we will have to assume he is indeed a grower and not a shower.

Little known fact, Brian is the Chuck Norris of BME.

On a serious note, Brian is amongst the nicest and  most genuine people I have ever had the privilege of meeting. He has been a long time active BME member, and a top image contributor since 2003. He has also, busted his ass year after year putting on one of the most fun BME social events, Bowling With Weirdos.

Shawn Porter has this to say about Brian:

“Brian has been one of my best friends for going on a decade. The Dr. Gonzo to my Raoul Duke, if you will; the Ricky to my Lucy, the moral compass that always points to do it if it’s funny, don’t worry, well clean up the mess and more.”

For the full length, uncensored (and barely edited) look into the man behind the ballhair…. keep reading.

Sean: Let’s start basic, what got you into body mods in the first place?

Brian: There are multiple points to blame on that one. It mostly started in High School in the mid-90s. Piercing was just starting to make its way into the mainstream, and that is where I was first exposed to “abnormal” piercings. Then you can also credit the introduction of Punk rock into my life. Tattoos became a big fascination then as well.

Sean:  I kind of assumed punk shows were a big influence on you. That was a large part of my introduction to piercing and tattoos as well.

Brian: It was a lot of things at that time that were playing together, that were introducing me to that world. You can also blame movies as well. I’m a big movie nerd and that was another place where the interest came from. And I’ll say it, one of the first times i’d really seen larger piercings and more extreme Body Mod stuff was STRANGELAND. I mean a lot of this stuff was really foreign in the world that I was living in.

Sean: How did you end up becoming involved with BME?

Brian: I first found BME while I was researching designs for my first tattoo, because it was the site that appeared in Google when you looked up Kanji tattoo. I found IAM months after that, when it turned out that my friend Kristen had an IAM page and she said it was a fun site. I’ve had an IAM account ever since April of 2001.

Brian: I didn’t get a “heavy mod” until I got my septum punched at 00g.Which, I might add was very close to the same time that you had your septum punched. Same guy, too. (Shane Munce)

Sean: Yes, it’s true we were damn near septum twins for  a while. Except, I still haven’t ever gotten that damn double flared jewelry out that was originally put in mine!

Brian: Lucky for me, my septum is super stretchy and could take out the double flared jewelry almost immediately after getting it done. It wasn’t always a good idea, but I could do it. I don’t have to wear jewelry in it, and i can still fit about a 1/2″ piece of jewelry in.

Sean:..and speaking of putting things in places they don’t belong, let’s talk about your relationship with Shawn Porter.

Brian: Ha ha, let’s go there.

Sean: How did you first meet Shawn?

Brian: The first time I met Shawn was by complete accident on his part. I was going to my first IAM meet in Philly. 16 people signed up at the time and we were meeting at Market Street station. About 8 people showed up and we all just looked at each other and were like, “ok, what do we do now”. So we started heading towards a park and went walking through the Mall next to the station. Shawn, who happened to be shopping at the time, found himself in the middle of an IAM meet/ He followed us, and while going up the escalator looked at me and said, “Fuck you, you’re brian”.

Sean: Wow, that sure was random.

Brian: Very random. He knew who I was, because Shane had been talking about the first Weirdos event and how I was helping out. Shawn will still tell the story about how he told me to take over the event because the 15 year old girl who ran the Philly area IAM meet at the time, needed to be usurped.

Sean: Well she’s now merely known as “the 15 year old girl” and you sir are BME Royalty, so fine job usurping.

Brian: Ha. yup. But, in the grand scheme of things my royal status is mostly as the court jester, or the title I’ve grown more used to, Consigliere.

Sean: I still think of you more as security guard.  You have played the role as sober bouncer at several events at my old place , but the role of security protecting the sanctity of the “champagne room” at Shawn’s old apartment is when many may have first met you.

Brian: I’ve been the Straight Edge,  sober voice of reason for many years, and as Shawn would say, “Brian has forgotten more than you’ll know”. I am very much the behind the scenes man. The innocuous man who stands guard to a secret world.

Sean: It’s true, in fact  you have been a part of some of the most exclusive body mod events in the world. Has this led to you getting any scarification or other heavier type mods done?

Brian: The heaviest work I have gotten was getting my septum punched to 00g and my nipples scalpeled to 2g. Other than that the work that i have gotten on myself has been pretty “plain” in comparison to my compadres.

Sean: I think that’s pretty awesome. Lot’s of people in your position would end up getting other heavier work just because they were around it so much and felt they pressured to get something.

Brian: Yeah, I stick to what I want to get, and am not easily swayed into getting something new just for the hell of it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t encourage others to do it, and convince them to let me take pictures. I did, however, take an interest in pulls and suspensions. Which the story of my first and only pull is a pretty funny one.

Sean: Was it the genital pull at my old house?

Brian: Yes, the 4 way genital pull would be the one.

Sean: Refresh my memory on that one? I think you were the only one actually pierced for that rather than using an existing hole?

Brian: Yes, I was the only one that took a fresh one that day. We did a frenum on the topside on me, while everyone else went through what they had. It was Me, Shawn Porter, Julie, and Michael. And to refresh your memory, Julie schooled all three of us.

Sean: ha ha I bet, she’s always been one tough cookie.

Brian: A destructive force that you just don’t see coming.

Sean: Not at all, the eeyore panties are  misleading

Brian: Very misleading.

Sean: So tell us about your suspensions.

Brian: My first suspension was a couple days before my 25th birthday at an ROP event in Emrys backyard. It was a 2 point chest suspension. I was warned before hand that a chest suspension was probably a bad idea for suspension.The only problem is, I’m a little stubborn and there really was no talking me out of it.

Sean: That is gung ho for damn sure. How did it go?

Brian: It was like riding a bull. I was up for about 8 seconds, and ended up with 32 stitches.

Sean: Wow. But you did it and that is far more than most in the world, or even this community have attempted, myself included.

Brian: That’s right. I made it up and the only reason that i came down was because my chest started to open up like a zipper. I didn’t even realize it was happening.

Sean: If you have to come down early, that’s about as good of a  reason as  I can think of. Did you an to do any more suspensions in the future?

Brian: Yup, I did two more. My second suspension was in NYC at Brian Decker’s apartment, which was a 1 point suicide.

Sean: How was that?

Brian: This time the suspension went a little bit longer. I lasted halfway through a Minor Threat song, and ended up with only 5 stitches.

Sean: You’d think all that bacon in your diet would make your skin a bit more elastic.

Brian: You’d think that I would have stronger skin, but strong skin can’t over come bad ideas.

Sean: You definitely make for good quotes! So, how was the third suspension?

Brian: The last was the most successful. It was at the 2009 ROP suspension BBQ in Pittsfield. It was a 2 point Suicide with the new Gilson hooks.

Sean: No ripping I take it?

Brian: I lasted longer than anyone expected, and I didn’t tear one bit. It was great fun. I finally got to swing around and feel that sense of euphoria.

Sean: Awesome, that is what it’s all about man. You really are a shining example of why I got into wanting to suspend people.

Sean: I imagine a lot of the readers of this blog that know of you probably do so from your role as host of  the annual Bowling With Weirdos event. Tell  me how that all started.

Brian: The first Weirdo event was in September of 2002. It was inspired after I had gone to my first July 1st Canadian BBQ in Shannon and Rachel’s backyard. I had talked to Shane Munce about doing something in the Philly area because there wasn’t much going on at the time. There happened to be a park down the street from the shop that he was working in at the time. The idea was simple. Keep it cheap, Keep it simple, Keep it fun. The event was originally called, “Philly Area BME BBQ/Bowling Event”

Sean: It really has become one of the defining annual BME events. I remember the first year, and it has only gotten better through the years (at least the every other year I make it up for).

Brian: It’s one of the longest running consistent IAM events. It’s always a good time. It’s amazing looking at the pictures from the first year and then every year after that.

Sean: But it wasn’t that event that made you the legend you are, it was a sticker that read ballhair… why don’t you explain to the younger readers what that was all about.

Brian: Ahhh. The ballhair sticker. I had actually started getting those printed right before I joined IAM. It was a fun little experiment. There is a company out there called Sticker Guy. I always saw ads in punk rock zines about getting stickers printed and this guy would do 250 of them for $20 So, at the time I of course wanted to get something printed. My friends at the time were just in love with screaming out Ballhair (thanks to the classic Rob Schneider movie “Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo”).

Sean: Very cool, kind of like the obey stickers, except with no redeeming social value.

Brian: It was very much inspired by the OBEY stickers. I used to see them all the time in Philly and wanted to do one that was a little less serious. I’ve done a LOT of prints of that sticker.

Sean: And then there was the sequel, what was it, cunthair?

Brian: No, it was Cuntbag. I only did one run of those.

Sean: Ooh limited edition, I think I still have one on a tool box too. That may be worth something after this interview gets posted!

Brian: It could definitely be. I still find handfuls of stickers here and there. When I do, I usually end up sending them to someone. I have probably printed thousands of them.

Sean: Aside from the Bowling event and the stickers the one thing that comes to mind when I think of you is food. Good, greasy, meaty food. What role exactly does food play in your life?

Brian: It’s a pretty large part. Almost every person in my family has worked in the restaurant industry in some part. Hell, my father even cooked for Reagan when he was still president.  My mother was a photographer, my Dad was a chef,  I think that pretty well explains me.  I also have two food related tattoos.

Brian: I have my Sacred Bacon tattoo, but  I also have a rib piece done by Dave   of a beautiful scantily clad young lady wearing only an apron grilling with some script that says, “Daddy’s lil Grill”.

Sean: That’s right I forgot that amazing piece!

Brian: It came out great.

Sean: Anything you want to make sure gets included, that we didn’t already touch on?

Brian: Just tell anyone that meets me to ask for a story. Whether the infamous “Get It” story, the “Indestructable” story, or any other fun tale. At East Coast events we call it story time.

Sean: What’s the “indestructable” one I don’t know of that I do not believe.

Brian: Its the story of the misspelled tattoo across my chest, it makes me “a table that can’t be destroyed” Told correctly it will make you laugh, cry, and then probably put out.

And that, dear readers, is Brian in a nutshell.