A little while ago, we got an e-mail from a man named David Kitts. Having been around the body modification community for about a decade, he’d stretched his lobes to two inches, but recently underwent surgery to reconstruct them to their original state—the idea and process of which has left him conflicted at best. He felt like his story could be useful as a cautionary of sorts, and so we spoke to him. In our interview, he discusses why he went the surgery route, what the procedure itself entailed, the effects it’s had on him mentally and more—after the jump.
BME: First off, just for some background, what do you do for a living?
David Kitts: Well, I’ve been in and out of piercing and performing some of the heavier mods for about eight years now, working straight jobs when I couldn’t afford to work at shops. I have been, for several months, working for myself rehabbing old bikes, mopeds and motorcycles, and just got a decent job at a large-box sporting goods store.
BME: So, at what point did you realize body modification was going to be an important part of your life?
DK: When I was about 16, I heard about a local 4:20 shop in Lexington, South Carolina, that also had a piercing shop. I started hanging out mainly because of my parents’ hatred of piercings, and I read a book they had there—I can’t remember the name, but it did have a “pierced” cover with a large CBR—and was fascinated. (This was back in 1999-2000, before it really became fashionable to have “belly” rings and all that.) The day after my birthday, I got my ears pierced at 10 gauge and bought a set of eight gauges for when I could go up. There was a guy there named Lonnie who had a ton of facial piercings and a set of early monster CBRs that were a half-inch and 10.3 ounces each; I have them now. I loved the way it looked, and the impermanence of it was kinda nice. It didn’t hurt for as long as a tattoo did, but it still made the wearer, for the most part, beautiful.
Since then, I’ve had 257 piercings (I’ve kept track), including cheeks, three bridge, eight nape (that were 1.5-inches long point-to-point) and 1.25-inch-long surface bars vertically in the back of my arms, three each side. Also, the one that freaked the piercer out was a two-inch-long, 10-gauge madison done with Tygon.
BME: Now, the photos you sent in recently showed your ears post-surgery after having your two-inch lobes closed up. First of all, how long did it take you to get your lobes to that size?
DK: I got to one inch in a bit under two years. I got stuck for a while, because of jobs and lack of jewelry, but one day I tried to shove something in that was bigger and they went fast as hell after that. I went from a little bigger than a Coke cap to two inches in six months. My ears stretched on their own, probably because I played with them (unconsciously) during the day and slept with the earrings in. In fact, the large tunnels I had that were my “goal,” I wore for a week before they fell out.
BME: How long ago did you get your lobes up to that size?
DK: About eight, months or so. I got to two inches and was happy as hell; that was a “size goal,” as it were. I was already heading past it when I had surgery.
BME: It sounds like this was something into which you’d put some effort and of which you were proud, but we’re talking today because you’ve since had your lobes reconstructed. What led to this?
DK: Well, regarding that “goal” of two inches, I said that I’d consider getting them put back to “normal” after. So, when I got there, ironically, I was introduced to one of Charleston’s top plastic surgeons. We got to talking and he agreed to do the work, way before I realized what exactly I was doing, but I had a few months to decide whether or not to go through with the surgery due to schedule conflicts, so no big deal.
I had been out of a “real” job since December, and no one would hire me because of the piercings. The tattoos on my hands and arms were fine, the bats on my neck were OK, even my stretched nostrils were passable, but not the ears. And hey, I’m almost 27, so I sat down one night and went over everything: How I felt about how I looked versus “mainstream” people, and the future. This was a chance that I couldn’t pass up—having my lobes redone, that is—but I didn’t know if I could live with myself if I did. I felt like I’d be giving in. I’ve always been a fighter for individuality. I tried to make sure I stood up for people who expressed themselves differently, be they transgendered or just heavily tattooed, I didn’t care—it’s a choice. I just happened to go a little more into the deep end, as it were.
So, for about three weeks, I struggled with whether or not I would be OK with myself afterward, if my friends would be, and what would happen. For all I knew, I could do all this and never get another real job and be severely pissed because of it. But, I figured I could always redo the ears if time allowed, and that I’d be an idiot to not give the surgery a chance. So I went for it. It’s been hard dealing with day-to-day things now. Harder than I expected.
BME: Just to backtrack for a minute, you said that beforehand, you considered shrinking your ears back down to “normal” once you reached two inches. By “normal,” do you mean a smaller diameter, or closed up as they are now? And what was the motivation to reach two inches if you had already decided it could just be a temporary thing?
DK: I was referring to getting surgery when I got to two inches. I knew it’d take a while to let them shrink, and I think I was well past being able to go back to something “socially acceptable.” I wanted them forever—it wasn’t a temporary decision. When I got to two inches (I figured it’d be quite a while), I’d evaluate my life and see if anything needed to be done. If life was good, I’d keep them. If not, I’d figure something out—either let them shrink as much as they’d go, or surgery. Basically, I’d get to two inches and see where the lobes fit into my life and deal with them accordingly.
BME: Got it. So obviously, they were interfering in a way that was complicating your life. How did you end up meeting the surgeon who did the procedure? Had he done that specific kind of work before?
DK: A friend of mine introduced us at some function; we got to talking about it and he said he’d be willing. Not too sure if he had done this specifically, but he had mentioned he’d worked on some people who had ripped lobes (like little old ladies). But, he provided me a good service. He’s strictly a facial surgeon—he does a lot of charity work for children with cleft palates, making them more “normal” and all. He works from the neck up, and there’s another doctor in the office that works from the neck down.
BME: Was it an expensive procedure?
DK: It cost me $1,300, and I got a good deal.
BME: What did the procedure entail?
DK: Well, at least one week before, he wanted me to take the jewelry out so that the lobes could relax some. (I didn’t label them like I wanted, but in those pictures, the ones where my lobes look all fat are the day of, right before surgery.) When I went in, pictures were taken and I was led to a “recovery suite” to wait. When we finally went up to the O.R., it was all very quick. After being covered and cleaned, he injected a shot of local anesthetic in each lobe that had a vascular constrictor in it to slow blood flow. I couldn’t feel anything past that.
He started by taking surgical scissors to the right lobe and just cut 80 percent off. I may have had about a quarter inch on each side left. He had to cauterize the right lobe because the constrictor wasn’t fully effective yet, but the pain killer was (thankfully). After some measuring, he trimmed the ends a bit (where he already cut) and skinned my inner lobe into an upside-down “U” to remove the skin that used to sit on the saddle of the jewelry. That was done so that when he sewed me up, there wouldn’t be any little holes where healed skin was left. He repeated the same steps for the left side, but the skin in the front of my lobe near the tragus was thinner than the right lobe, so it went faster with a lot less trimming needed. I think it’s the more normal-looking of the two.
After all was cut, he sewed me mostly with dissolving stitches—about eight in each ear, I think he said. He did add one stitch from my lobe to my neck to promote them healing “down,” and he forgot to test the area on my neck to see if it was numb before that. It wasn’t numb, but the pain wasn’t bad. Afterwards, beyond NeoSporin, there were no special instructions. They healed almost completely in a week, and I went to the beach in a week and a half. And thats it! Fun. The weirdest part was being awake the whole time and hearing the scissors cutting. It sounded like cardboard.
BME: That seems pretty straightforward. And how long ago did you have it done?
DK: Two weeks ago, and I got hired to a good position at a sporting goods store after putting in two applications on Thursday of last week. So yeah, I’d say it worked.
BME: So you feel comfortable attributing that quick turnaround to the surgery, then?
DK: Oh, yeah. I asked about a job before and the manager rejected me and told me why. Then I came back after the surgery and he said he wanted me to work there now that my lobes were back to normal.
BME: But even still, you say it’s been hard to deal with.
DK: Yeah. More personally than anything.
BME: How so?
DK: Well, for years I’d had these stretched ears. I always got the, “Did that hurt?” question, and had come-backs for just about anything people could throw at me. I also had a reason when people stared at me. I knew why, but when I went out without the lobes, people still stared, and it felt like I lost my shield. I felt defenseless, and it scared me. I still feel the same way, and it bothers me now more than ever when people give me weird looks. It used to be easily written off—now, not so much. And when I look in the mirror, I’m not happy. It looks like a fake me, like someone else, and it really bugs me. It was such a big part of my life, now that they’re gone it really bothers me. I’ve lost a few friends too, and now I have to go through explaining to everyone that knew me before why I did this. And I still get asked if it fucking hurt.
BME: Without getting too Dr. Phil about this, why on earth would you lose friends over something like this? That seems ridiculous.
DK: I know. But to them, they viewed me as a sellout. In one’s words, I “turned my back on them,” which is B.S., but whatever.
BME: B.S. indeed. Before the surgery, did you expect your personal adjustment would have been easier than it has been?
DK: Yeah. I figured I’d miss the “old me,” but I didn’t think it would be anything like it is now. You know the biggest insult I’ve gotten so far? “You look so much better now!”
BME: So, between not quite feeling like yourself minus your stretched lobes and having others call you a “sellout,” what do you think? Do you consider yourself a sellout or anything like that?
DK: A tiny bit, yes, because I don’t think I should have to change for a job. I’m still as good an employee with the lobes, and I feel that I, and everyone else, should be accepted for who we are. It’s not like I got all this shit done to not get a job, you know? I just wanted to be beautiful, the way I saw it. I could still sell stuff or do any number of jobs, but because of the way I looked, I was prejudged as a “bad person” and unemployable. There are only so many Hot Topics in an area, and working as a bouncer kinda sucks. But I am doing what’s best for me and my future now that I’m a little bit older and wiser.
BME: Knowing what you do now and how things have turned out, do you regret stretching your lobes that big in the first place?
DK: Not at all. The friends I’ve made, the conversations that have been started with them—hell, I even won a trip to see the Jerry Springer show because of them. I hope to have opened some people’s eyes to this type of modification. I’ve spoken at some schools on the right way to get pierced, and the importance of waiting (pre-surgery) and plan on doing the same after. My ears did get me a job at a few haunted houses. Imagine a 250-pound, six-foot-tall tall guy with running chain-saws attached to his lobes running at you.
I will continue to advocate modifying yourself as you see fit, so long as it is in a safe environment. And I will still get modified in other ways. There’s plenty left for me to do, and now I can say I’m an amputee of sorts—I nullo’d my lobes [laughs].
BME: Before we wrap up, anything you’d like to add?
DK: Sure. The main reason I came to you to put this out there is because I know there are a lot of young readers on BME, and this experience is for them. People like Allen Falkner and Erik Sprague don’t need to hear this, but the ones that go on ModBlog and who do see the glory and beauty in modification, there can be a harsh reality that, if you don’t plan on it, can come back and bite you in the ass. I just want people thinking about doing this to know there are consequences, but I don’t want to divert anyone—I just want to show both sides. I wouldn’t change anything I’ve done at all. I loved my lobes when I had them, and I miss them and am dealing with the emotions without them now, but I stand by my choices.
Comments
162 responses to “Losing Your Lobes: An Interview With David Kitts”
rachel (granule) and mandic both make some good points, but my problem with this whole story is that this guy is trying to turn around and hype his story to bme like it’s some morality tale for all the youth out there. i’d have more respect for him if it was an aesthetic choice. yes, you may have to take drastic measure to live in the “real world” in spite of your modifications, but this is not some new revelation. moreover, having seen so many heavily modified people succeed in their lives regardless of their modifications makes this whole “morality tale” all the more repugnant.
rachel (granule) and mandic both make some good points, but my problem with this whole story is that this guy is trying to turn around and hype his story to bme like it’s some morality tale for all the youth out there. i’d have more respect for him if it was an aesthetic choice. yes, you may have to take drastic measure to live in the “real world” in spite of your modifications, but this is not some new revelation. moreover, having seen so many heavily modified people succeed in their lives regardless of their modifications makes this whole “morality tale” all the more repugnant.
Colin and Cooley: This article is a brief summary of a part of his life. Not all details are going to be explained in full, so you have no right to judge. As Mandic said, maybe he got the procedure financed. Maybe he took out a loan. Maybe he’s making monthly payments.
Also I’d like to express dismay over the prejudice directed towards his job. As a fellow blue collar American who doesn’t have mommy and daddy paying my way through life, especially during this rough economic time, I don’t see why he should be ashamed of making a living and taking care of himself. A job doesn’t have to be glamorous or fulfilling as long as it puts food on the fucking table.
Yes, there are some of us that are moded that are poor and have to forgot self expression because when it comes down to having a mod or eating, we’d rather fucking eat. Sorry to burst your pampered bubble, but there’s a lot of us that will take what ever we can get. Bullying someone by calling them a “sellout” or “conformist” for having their well being in mind reveals how sheltered and unaware of what sacrifice truly is some people are.
Saying moded people can get better jobs than that is just… fucking retarded especially considering a lot of even unmoded people can’t get jobs better than what’s available at their local Wal Mart (IF they’re lucky) in this day and age. Moded people aren’t all trust fund brats, yuppies or even middle class and financially stable. Hell, some of us aren’t even college educated (gasp!!).
Colin and Cooley: This article is a brief summary of a part of his life. Not all details are going to be explained in full, so you have no right to judge. As Mandic said, maybe he got the procedure financed. Maybe he took out a loan. Maybe he’s making monthly payments.
Also I’d like to express dismay over the prejudice directed towards his job. As a fellow blue collar American who doesn’t have mommy and daddy paying my way through life, especially during this rough economic time, I don’t see why he should be ashamed of making a living and taking care of himself. A job doesn’t have to be glamorous or fulfilling as long as it puts food on the fucking table.
Yes, there are some of us that are moded that are poor and have to forgot self expression because when it comes down to having a mod or eating, we’d rather fucking eat. Sorry to burst your pampered bubble, but there’s a lot of us that will take what ever we can get. Bullying someone by calling them a “sellout” or “conformist” for having their well being in mind reveals how sheltered and unaware of what sacrifice truly is some people are.
Saying moded people can get better jobs than that is just… fucking retarded especially considering a lot of even unmoded people can’t get jobs better than what’s available at their local Wal Mart (IF they’re lucky) in this day and age. Moded people aren’t all trust fund brats, yuppies or even middle class and financially stable. Hell, some of us aren’t even college educated (gasp!!).
Self-righteous rants beget type-o’s and poor grammar. Forgot=forgo. I’m sure there’s others in there too. But in short, not everyone can pick and choose their jobs. Sorry.
Self-righteous rants beget type-o’s and poor grammar. Forgot=forgo. I’m sure there’s others in there too. But in short, not everyone can pick and choose their jobs. Sorry.
I think this is something that we are going to see a lot more of. Kids are way too hasty in doing these extreme body modifications. It has become more of a fashion than a passion. Body modifications need commitment. You need to think about your future before you undergo anything that can not be reversed or erased without surgery.
I think this is something that we are going to see a lot more of. Kids are way too hasty in doing these extreme body modifications. It has become more of a fashion than a passion. Body modifications need commitment. You need to think about your future before you undergo anything that can not be reversed or erased without surgery.
Theres a fine line between commitent and being able to eat.
On the other side of things away from the back and forth here, im having my split lobe repaired soon hopefully an i love where david says the cutting was audible and sounde like cardboard lol! Fills me with dread for my procedure haha.
Theres a fine line between commitent and being able to eat.
On the other side of things away from the back and forth here, im having my split lobe repaired soon hopefully an i love where david says the cutting was audible and sounde like cardboard lol! Fills me with dread for my procedure haha.
cool story bro.
cool story bro.
#10 probably because tattoos can’t fall into food.
#10 probably because tattoos can’t fall into food.
Anyone who still has that “I’ll never give up my mods for a job” mindset is either stupid, or too young to understand how things work in the real world. If it comes to providing for yourself, and possibly others, how could anyone let something metal in their face stop them from doing it? I’ve taken out piercings for jobs, and later on when I’ve gotten more accepting jobs, I was able to get them redone.
I think that he made a very wise decision and I can’t believe he was cast out by some “friends” for being a “sellout.” How is doing something that will better your life like this selling out? Just because the size of your earlobes changed, it doesn’t change who you really are. I think it’s safe to say that those people were not true friends in the first place or they would still be there regardless of what mods you still have.
Anyone who still has that “I’ll never give up my mods for a job” mindset is either stupid, or too young to understand how things work in the real world. If it comes to providing for yourself, and possibly others, how could anyone let something metal in their face stop them from doing it? I’ve taken out piercings for jobs, and later on when I’ve gotten more accepting jobs, I was able to get them redone.
I think that he made a very wise decision and I can’t believe he was cast out by some “friends” for being a “sellout.” How is doing something that will better your life like this selling out? Just because the size of your earlobes changed, it doesn’t change who you really are. I think it’s safe to say that those people were not true friends in the first place or they would still be there regardless of what mods you still have.
Also, I am completely with Rose on this one. People living in the real world where they don’t have their mommy to pay their way have to make a living somehow. It’s easy to not be such a ‘conformist sellout’ when you aren’t footing any bills and your parents still take you to hot topic any time you need new clothes. I mean honestly, would you rather have a few body mods or be able to put a roof over your families head and be able to feed them. Not to mention pay the car bills, electric, water, doctor bills, groceries, and everything else that comes along with being an adult.
Also, I am completely with Rose on this one. People living in the real world where they don’t have their mommy to pay their way have to make a living somehow. It’s easy to not be such a ‘conformist sellout’ when you aren’t footing any bills and your parents still take you to hot topic any time you need new clothes. I mean honestly, would you rather have a few body mods or be able to put a roof over your families head and be able to feed them. Not to mention pay the car bills, electric, water, doctor bills, groceries, and everything else that comes along with being an adult.
where did all of this vitriol against so-called trust-fund babies come from? i know very few people (at least personally) who are in that position, and of the ones who are, NONE of them are modified, aside from the occasional “rebellious” tongue or eyebrow piercing. most of the more heavily modified people i know have had to pay their own way, regardless of whether they now make a living in blue- or white-collar type jobs. i’m not sure how economic status became a part of this conversation, but i think it only serves to distract from the real issue here and turn it into a discussion of “haves” vs. “have nots.”
where did all of this vitriol against so-called trust-fund babies come from? i know very few people (at least personally) who are in that position, and of the ones who are, NONE of them are modified, aside from the occasional “rebellious” tongue or eyebrow piercing. most of the more heavily modified people i know have had to pay their own way, regardless of whether they now make a living in blue- or white-collar type jobs. i’m not sure how economic status became a part of this conversation, but i think it only serves to distract from the real issue here and turn it into a discussion of “haves” vs. “have nots.”
To all the people who completely missed the point:
I completely understand and agree that it was his own will and right to close up his ears. The problem is that this isn’t a story about a guy who wanted the procedure because he personally didn’t like his lobes anymore. After the procedure he says ” when I look in the mirror, I’m not happy. It looks like a fake me, like someone else, and it really bugs me. It was such a big part of my life, now that they’re gone it really bothers me.” and “Yeah. I figured I’d miss the “old me,” but I didn’t think it would be anything like it is now. You know the biggest insult I’ve gotten so far? “You look so much better now!”
And as far as calling the guy a sellout goes, he called himself a sellout. “Do you consider yourself a sellout or anything like that?
DK: A tiny bit, yes, because I don’t think I should have to change for a job. I’m still as good an employee with the lobes, and I feel that I, and everyone else, should be accepted for who we are.”
Did you people even read the entire interview?
The aim of the interview is all wrong. Or at least the moral is. Yes, you should think about all mods seriously before you get them. Perhaps the true moral of this story is put your $1300 towards job training instead.
I’ve been paying my own way since I was 17. I had my lobes pierced with 8 gauge needles when I was 19 and at 28 my they’ve been at 1″ for about 5 years. I’ve never had any problems getting a job.
To all the people who completely missed the point:
I completely understand and agree that it was his own will and right to close up his ears. The problem is that this isn’t a story about a guy who wanted the procedure because he personally didn’t like his lobes anymore. After the procedure he says ” when I look in the mirror, I’m not happy. It looks like a fake me, like someone else, and it really bugs me. It was such a big part of my life, now that they’re gone it really bothers me.” and “Yeah. I figured I’d miss the “old me,” but I didn’t think it would be anything like it is now. You know the biggest insult I’ve gotten so far? “You look so much better now!”
And as far as calling the guy a sellout goes, he called himself a sellout. “Do you consider yourself a sellout or anything like that?
DK: A tiny bit, yes, because I don’t think I should have to change for a job. I’m still as good an employee with the lobes, and I feel that I, and everyone else, should be accepted for who we are.”
Did you people even read the entire interview?
The aim of the interview is all wrong. Or at least the moral is. Yes, you should think about all mods seriously before you get them. Perhaps the true moral of this story is put your $1300 towards job training instead.
I’ve been paying my own way since I was 17. I had my lobes pierced with 8 gauge needles when I was 19 and at 28 my they’ve been at 1″ for about 5 years. I’ve never had any problems getting a job.
Alright, I’ve been reading this for a little bit now..and while I didn’t really care to post before in regards to the ear reversal, I feel at this point I probably should make some comment.
I think his decision to stretch his ears was not thought out well. I don’t think he is a sellout and I feel bad that he lost friends. All that I have to say in regards to his decision is what he already said…people need to think out their actions and not make hasty decisions when it comes to modifications that require surgery to repair.
I am a blue collar worker, I have worked in a few different factories, and I am now working as a welder. I have not had my parents support me, I paid my own way through the training that I’ve had, I pay my own rent/utilities/car payment/insurance/etc. I bought all of the cars I have owned without help from anyone else. Now, keeping all that in mind, I have 2 5/8 inch ears a few piercings in my face, horn implants, and my hands tattooed. Sure, I take a bit of abuse at work, and everywhere else I go. But I wouldn’t give up my ears/tattoos/implants for anything. There are a couple of piercings I would take out for a job, but the things I care about are staying.
The thing that I think everyone is overlooking is that just because you are a blue collar worker doesn’t mean that you can’t have the modifications that you want. You just need to be skilled enough to create some demand for your abilities. I know that even though I look “weird” to pretty much everyone in my chosen trade, I will always be able to find work..and so can anyone else. You just need to put forth the effort instead of taking the easy way out if it is something that you truly care about.
My wife, granule (Rachel) and I both work really hard to get what we have. I don’t have a college education (I barely made it through high school) and she is going for her masters degree in metalsmithing this coming spring. In terms of jobs/education, we’re very opposite. The point is, we both make this work because we’ve thought our actions through and attained modifications slow enough to understand the social consequences that we were getting/have gotten ourselves into.
Alright, I’ve been reading this for a little bit now..and while I didn’t really care to post before in regards to the ear reversal, I feel at this point I probably should make some comment.
I think his decision to stretch his ears was not thought out well. I don’t think he is a sellout and I feel bad that he lost friends. All that I have to say in regards to his decision is what he already said…people need to think out their actions and not make hasty decisions when it comes to modifications that require surgery to repair.
I am a blue collar worker, I have worked in a few different factories, and I am now working as a welder. I have not had my parents support me, I paid my own way through the training that I’ve had, I pay my own rent/utilities/car payment/insurance/etc. I bought all of the cars I have owned without help from anyone else. Now, keeping all that in mind, I have 2 5/8 inch ears a few piercings in my face, horn implants, and my hands tattooed. Sure, I take a bit of abuse at work, and everywhere else I go. But I wouldn’t give up my ears/tattoos/implants for anything. There are a couple of piercings I would take out for a job, but the things I care about are staying.
The thing that I think everyone is overlooking is that just because you are a blue collar worker doesn’t mean that you can’t have the modifications that you want. You just need to be skilled enough to create some demand for your abilities. I know that even though I look “weird” to pretty much everyone in my chosen trade, I will always be able to find work..and so can anyone else. You just need to put forth the effort instead of taking the easy way out if it is something that you truly care about.
My wife, granule (Rachel) and I both work really hard to get what we have. I don’t have a college education (I barely made it through high school) and she is going for her masters degree in metalsmithing this coming spring. In terms of jobs/education, we’re very opposite. The point is, we both make this work because we’ve thought our actions through and attained modifications slow enough to understand the social consequences that we were getting/have gotten ourselves into.
#22, #26
I agree with alot of what you have to say. I recently gave up my 1/2 labret because it was too much to have it and try to find work. Luckily mine shrunk down to a 4gauge and my facial hair covers the hole, I don’t slobber on myself so no big deal to me, if I could afford to have my lobes closed I would do that too, some of us that have mods are’nt kids anymore and we never had big plans on being the next big tattoo artist like on miami ink. To those of you criticizing him, grow up, the world will not work around what you think should be acceptable and no one is going to cut you any slack because even though you look like Pually Unstoppable you might still be a nice guy.
#22, #26
I agree with alot of what you have to say. I recently gave up my 1/2 labret because it was too much to have it and try to find work. Luckily mine shrunk down to a 4gauge and my facial hair covers the hole, I don’t slobber on myself so no big deal to me, if I could afford to have my lobes closed I would do that too, some of us that have mods are’nt kids anymore and we never had big plans on being the next big tattoo artist like on miami ink. To those of you criticizing him, grow up, the world will not work around what you think should be acceptable and no one is going to cut you any slack because even though you look like Pually Unstoppable you might still be a nice guy.
And I wasn’t trying to attack blue collar jobs when I specifically referenced to the fact that it was a sporting goods store. It just seems like a lot of money and sacrifice for job that is very interchangeable. It’s not like he was trying to get into nasa. Go apply somewhere else.
And I wasn’t trying to attack blue collar jobs when I specifically referenced to the fact that it was a sporting goods store. It just seems like a lot of money and sacrifice for job that is very interchangeable. It’s not like he was trying to get into nasa. Go apply somewhere else.
bird: sounds like you made some hasty decisions like this dude in the interview. and, you’re right. the world won’t work around you… if you want to be modified, you have to find a way to work with what the world has to offer you. for most people in the modification community that are visibly/heavily modified, that means working in a piercing/tattoo shop. but for a lot of people that are visibly/heavily modified that don’t work in shops (i know a lot of heavily modified people that hated working in this industry and left); being good enough at a skill/trade or being educated enough makes the world not care what you look like because they care more about what you have to offer.
colin: i like the way you think.
bird: sounds like you made some hasty decisions like this dude in the interview. and, you’re right. the world won’t work around you… if you want to be modified, you have to find a way to work with what the world has to offer you. for most people in the modification community that are visibly/heavily modified, that means working in a piercing/tattoo shop. but for a lot of people that are visibly/heavily modified that don’t work in shops (i know a lot of heavily modified people that hated working in this industry and left); being good enough at a skill/trade or being educated enough makes the world not care what you look like because they care more about what you have to offer.
colin: i like the way you think.
anyone who gets “extreme” mods on public skin (face, ears, neck, hands etc) has to have put a lot of thought into it first, because it WILL change your “social” status. it will make people see you differently.
i’m wondering why he didn’t realise this when he started to stretch his lobes and set his goal on 2 inches.
i agree with what he says, you shouldn’t have to change yourself for a job, unfortunately that isn’t the way the world works. i also agree with a comment colin made, he had to stop stretching because he couldn’t afford the jewellery but paid out $1300 to have them reconstructed to apply for jobs that he still may not have gotten.
i dont believe he is a sell out i just dont think he thought about everything from every angle before he actually did it.
anyone who gets “extreme” mods on public skin (face, ears, neck, hands etc) has to have put a lot of thought into it first, because it WILL change your “social” status. it will make people see you differently.
i’m wondering why he didn’t realise this when he started to stretch his lobes and set his goal on 2 inches.
i agree with what he says, you shouldn’t have to change yourself for a job, unfortunately that isn’t the way the world works. i also agree with a comment colin made, he had to stop stretching because he couldn’t afford the jewellery but paid out $1300 to have them reconstructed to apply for jobs that he still may not have gotten.
i dont believe he is a sell out i just dont think he thought about everything from every angle before he actually did it.
I’ve been slowly stretching my ears for several years. Going slow due to working as an xray tech. At 3/4″ I get questioned daily about them. I’m working in a small town hospital now, and it has mostly been positive so I feel pretty comfortable going further with them. Sometimes I can see patients staring and about to say something possibly negative, so I beam a bigger smile and try and make them laugh (depending on the situation…), and that disarms most negativity. Funny how far a smile goes. I am lucky to have managers who see my professional abilities before my appearance. I hope that will always be the case.
Thanks for the article.
I’ve been slowly stretching my ears for several years. Going slow due to working as an xray tech. At 3/4″ I get questioned daily about them. I’m working in a small town hospital now, and it has mostly been positive so I feel pretty comfortable going further with them. Sometimes I can see patients staring and about to say something possibly negative, so I beam a bigger smile and try and make them laugh (depending on the situation…), and that disarms most negativity. Funny how far a smile goes. I am lucky to have managers who see my professional abilities before my appearance. I hope that will always be the case.
Thanks for the article.
Meh, I think Charleston is one of the few places people seem to be accepting of “alternative” a modded people. I love it there. I don’t really believe what he’s preaching.
Meh, I think Charleston is one of the few places people seem to be accepting of “alternative” a modded people. I love it there. I don’t really believe what he’s preaching.
I have a question, Why would you go to a doctor and pay 1,300, When you could go to someone like Decker and pay alot less. Seems silly to go to a doctor and a waste of money.
I have a question, Why would you go to a doctor and pay 1,300, When you could go to someone like Decker and pay alot less. Seems silly to go to a doctor and a waste of money.
You do what you gotta do sometimes. I feel for the guy. I’ve been asked if I thought having stretched lobes made me more beautiful, to which I replied no, but it does make me more satisfied with my appearance. I imagine that’s how he’s feeling, not satisfied with his appearance any more.
You do what you gotta do sometimes. I feel for the guy. I’ve been asked if I thought having stretched lobes made me more beautiful, to which I replied no, but it does make me more satisfied with my appearance. I imagine that’s how he’s feeling, not satisfied with his appearance any more.
I can somewhat identify David. I had my lobes at two inches for 3 years and I recently had them closed ($500 here in CA.). I had several reasons, but it boiled down to this: when I stretched my ears, I did so to emulate the cultures that had been stretching their ears for centuries before America was “founded”. I was reacting to the lack of “culture” in my town. My ears stood for something noble, powerful, and beautiful. Now, In my town (Orange County), stretched ear lobes have no substance.
Yes, I could have kept my lobes stretched and informed people about my choice to live a culturally rich life. But we are slowly cultivating our own, wonderful culture of body modification right here in my town. After doing this for 15 years now, I have my own set of Ideals that are linked to my modifications. I don’t need to borrow as many of these things from others.
I can somewhat identify David. I had my lobes at two inches for 3 years and I recently had them closed ($500 here in CA.). I had several reasons, but it boiled down to this: when I stretched my ears, I did so to emulate the cultures that had been stretching their ears for centuries before America was “founded”. I was reacting to the lack of “culture” in my town. My ears stood for something noble, powerful, and beautiful. Now, In my town (Orange County), stretched ear lobes have no substance.
Yes, I could have kept my lobes stretched and informed people about my choice to live a culturally rich life. But we are slowly cultivating our own, wonderful culture of body modification right here in my town. After doing this for 15 years now, I have my own set of Ideals that are linked to my modifications. I don’t need to borrow as many of these things from others.
I just had my lobes put back together from 2″ as well. Anyone want to call me a sell-out?
I just had my lobes put back together from 2″ as well. Anyone want to call me a sell-out?
@37 I love you Matt, and miss you dearly!
@37 I love you Matt, and miss you dearly!
in a community where freedom of choice is so highly valued, and the opinions of others shouldn’t really matter, i am surprised at all the bashing david is taking here.
knowing david, i am sure he made the decision after careful consideration based on the personal needs he had at the time. to call him a sell out, or someone who gave under peer pressure seems harsh. i am sure that your modifications, as mine, came from some inspiration received by witnessing another person’s expression of art, beauty, or (for some) shock value. though we are not mainstream america, we are a subculture that is growing in numbers so great, that soon only the very extreme mods will turn heads. the rest of us will blend into the woodwork, like it or not.
each time i make another modification to my body, being it piercings, tattooing, etc. the choice is weighed by not only my desire to create and express art with my being, but by the impact my mods will have on the socioeconomic system in which i and we all exist. i have to feed my child, bottom line, and if my art will keep food from the table, i will reverse what i have done.
i am lucky, as i am financially secure (although i live on little) as a self -employed artist. many of my mods have been written off as performance costuming. not everyone has that luxury, and they shouldn’t be shot down because they have to make an adjustment in their appearance to make a living. i wish it was different, but that’s the world we live in. the more we, as a subculture, educate the general public, the more the acceptance of our art form will be received.
to make this extreme step, and to publicly speak out about it is a testament to david and his character. he shared his story so that other people considering the steps that he has taken to know that it is more than just a nip and tuck. it is a life altering experience in ways that many don’t or wont dream of. just as having that first hole made in your body is.
consider everything…
in a community where freedom of choice is so highly valued, and the opinions of others shouldn’t really matter, i am surprised at all the bashing david is taking here.
knowing david, i am sure he made the decision after careful consideration based on the personal needs he had at the time. to call him a sell out, or someone who gave under peer pressure seems harsh. i am sure that your modifications, as mine, came from some inspiration received by witnessing another person’s expression of art, beauty, or (for some) shock value. though we are not mainstream america, we are a subculture that is growing in numbers so great, that soon only the very extreme mods will turn heads. the rest of us will blend into the woodwork, like it or not.
each time i make another modification to my body, being it piercings, tattooing, etc. the choice is weighed by not only my desire to create and express art with my being, but by the impact my mods will have on the socioeconomic system in which i and we all exist. i have to feed my child, bottom line, and if my art will keep food from the table, i will reverse what i have done.
i am lucky, as i am financially secure (although i live on little) as a self -employed artist. many of my mods have been written off as performance costuming. not everyone has that luxury, and they shouldn’t be shot down because they have to make an adjustment in their appearance to make a living. i wish it was different, but that’s the world we live in. the more we, as a subculture, educate the general public, the more the acceptance of our art form will be received.
to make this extreme step, and to publicly speak out about it is a testament to david and his character. he shared his story so that other people considering the steps that he has taken to know that it is more than just a nip and tuck. it is a life altering experience in ways that many don’t or wont dream of. just as having that first hole made in your body is.
consider everything…
He stretched his ears to two inches in less than three years, of course he regretted doing it. His ears grew but he didn’t grow with them. This is just another good reminder that stretching slowly is the right thing to do, both in terms of social/work situations, as well as in having safe stretches.
If he hadn’t rushed the stretching, which is the trend these days, he wouldn’t have needed surgery.
He stretched his ears to two inches in less than three years, of course he regretted doing it. His ears grew but he didn’t grow with them. This is just another good reminder that stretching slowly is the right thing to do, both in terms of social/work situations, as well as in having safe stretches.
If he hadn’t rushed the stretching, which is the trend these days, he wouldn’t have needed surgery.