Mike Beer and his offensive tattoos have received their fair share of attention on ModBlog, and the reaction has been … mixed, to say the least. Since the dawn of time, humans have wondered what goes through the mind of a person who devotes his skin to tattoos of jokes about child rape, transsexuals and gay Nazis. Today, we get a little closer to answering these questions.
Note: Most of the tattoos featured in this interview have been featured previously on ModBlog.
BME: First of all, tell us about yourself.
Mike Beer: Well, I lived in Northern Virginia my whole life, but recently moved to Atlantic City, New Jersey, to play in my band, Call The Paramedics, full time, as well as to be surrounded by assholes like myself. I have been getting tattooed since I was about 17 and am now about to turn 23. My first tattoo was a small hand-poked pentagram on my ankle, which I have had fixed so that it no longer looks like garbage, but I’ve had mad love for Satan since the beginning.
Humor is very important to me. However, since I would say I am rather desensitized to almost everything, the things that are hilarious to me are not very amusing to others, which is what brings us to this interview.
BME: Indeed it does. Have you always been an attention whore?
MB: Yes, I’ve been an attention whore for pretty much as long as I can remember — mainly because, when I was real little, my parents would beat me, lock me in the cellar, and occasionally make me put put on sex shows with our German Shepherd for them and all their friends while they would drink moonshine and throw dixie cups of scalding hot water on me. (Throughout my childhood, our dog Roxy was my best friend.)
I guess nowadays I’m just finding my outlet for all the pain and humiliation I endured as a kid … or maybe I just want to have an excuse to take off my clothes in front of strangers and everything I just said was a lie. Who really knows?
BME: Alright, enough of your yarns. How would you describe your sense of humor? What’s funny to you?
MB: I’d have to say my sense of humor is a cross between “modern” and extremely ignorant. I’ll make a joke out of anything: cripples, old people, blacks, Jews, Mexicans, whites … and any other things I may have forgotten. Your dog dies? Funny. You have a death in the family? Funny. A girl and her boyfriend have been trying for a long time to have a child, they finally get pregnant and eight months into the pregnancy she has a miscarriage? Hilarious. But don’t worry folks, whatever I dish out I can take in return.
BME: So it’s less to do with being funny and more to do with being an awful human being. Got it. Anyway, your declaration of love for Satan aside, what was the first “offensive” tattoo you got? Tell us about it.
MB: First “offensive” tattoo I got was the man with a pussy eating himself on my leg, although nobody ever really found it to be offensive. Shortly after getting that, I got the chick with a cock shitting on herself. Both tattoos were done by Eric Doyle at Jinx Proof Tattoo in Washington, D.C. Many people were not happy with chick with the cock, so I’d consider those my first offensive tattoos. I originally just wanted the guy eating himself and at the last minute decided he should have a pussy. The idea for the chick with the cock was merely an attempt at some kind of symmetry on my legs. And again, the poop was added last minute.
BME: Hey, when you’re right, you’re right — the poop certainly adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the piece. What came next?
MB: If I’m not mistaken, the white power unicorn tattoo came next. It was all downhill from there.
BME: The white power unicorn is offensive to pretty much every imaginable group. What was the thought process behind that one? Did you feel like you were crossing a certain threshold once you got a Nazi swastika tattooed on you, the ridiculous context and the fact that it was for the sake of a joke notwithstanding?
MB: The Nazi unicorn was also pretty spontaneous. My buddy Jason wanted to tattoo this piece of unicorn flash and couldn’t find anyone who wanted it, and I was obviously game under certain conditions — that is, I told him it had to be the most hateful unicorn ever. The best reaction I’ve ever gotten was, “How could something so beautiful be so ugly?”
For the record, I am not a Nazi — I just like to make fun of everything. People need to lighten up, and if they don’t like what I’m about? That’s fine with me, join the rest of the crowd. I didn’t really feel like I crossed over some kind of line, but that is pretty much when I decided that damn near every tattoo I got from then on needed to come close or outdo the last one, and I’ve been making good progress, with plans for much more.
BME: Have you gotten any memorably bad reactions to your work?
MB: Nothing that really stands out. I’ve noticed my mom on several occasions looking at the trannies on my legs; she knows that they are there but never really says anything. I’d imagine she is just bottling it up deep down inside and never letting it out. I’ve had trannies actually come up to me after they saw my legs, and they thought it was hilarious. Surprisingly enough I’ve gotten the most negative response on here, which is funny because some of the most horrible things I’ve seen were on BME. It’s kind of ironic.
BME: While I’ve got you here, why don’t you tell me a bit about your band.
MB: Well, I play drums in Call The Paramedics. We’re Atlantic City–based scumbag death rock. I guess our music could be described as Cannibal Corpse raping AC/DC while El Duce narrates. We attack the crowd, our singer cuts his face open, I blow fire, and this is all accompanied with massive amounts of cocaine. I’ve been told the music is pretty good too. You could say we’re for fans of GG Allin, rape, dirty needles, golden showers, cars parked in front of handicapped ramps, elderly shut-ins, and people broke down on the side of the road due to massive car pile ups from wandering stray dogs on the highway.
BME: Well, that sounds … great. Does anything offend you? Do you think it’s possible to go too far? Humor me here.
MB: Eh, not really. There are plenty of things that I think are wrong, but it doesn’t mean I won’t make a joke out of it. For example, I love animals, but I just got a dog in a kennel being put down tattooed on my leg. I would probably never rape a little kid, but I have “It’s rape time” with candy and little kids’ body parts tattooed on me, and so on. I live in an area and am friends with some of the most rotten people on the planet; around here it’s an ongoing battle of who can really lower the bar. I just want to fit in, you know?
BME: Nice of you to mention that you’d “probably” never rape a little kid. Classy. So where do you go from here?
MB: Aside from hell? There is nowhere to go but down. Oh, for all the ladies on here, holla at me. I’m a great “bring-home-to-the-parents” kind of guy.
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Comments
156 responses to “The Man With the World’s Most Tasteless Tattoos”
Coming from someone with ‘slut’ tattooed very near my ass… Who am I to judge? Haha. He’s a super rad guy from what I can tell. I’d totally do him and bring him home to mom. 😛
Mike is a stand up guy, regardless of his tattoos…
LMFAO!!!! I have the same sort of sense of humour so i think it’s cool that he has the balls to get such ‘offensive’ tattoos. They don’t offend me at all, they make me laugh… Even the kid rape one!! I’d never rape a kid or anything but the tattoo is still funny.
At the end of the day, it’s his body, he can have whatever tattoos he wants on it, if people don’t like it then it’s tough shit, it’s not their body… Nobody is saying THEY have to get tattoos like that.
Got!
parents can fuck things up….jesus!
Im really sorry for him!
I think its awesome and funny.
I think they’re horrible, hideous, disgusting, not funny at all tattoos, but it’s his body, so let him do what he wants with it. I’ve always though that the goal of body mods is to change the appearance of your body in a way that is unique to you. I guess he just wants to make his body uniquely ugly. And that’s his right. If you don’t like it, then close your eyes. Or look at something else.
Also, it took me like…ten minutes of staring to see that the unicorn tattoo was on his butt. LMAO!
Its not that the guy is a bad guy for being unique or having a odd sense of humor. Its just so offensive to all types of people, not your chest piece or pentagram. Theres nothing wrong with being Atheist. Although you did mention something about Satan which is just stupid. My point is why so offensive to everyone? You probably wouldnt mind tattoos on someone offending you but can you be a little bit more polite? Its just so much…I dont see why you want to have that on your body forever? Your only 23…was it? NOT trying to offend you, its awesome your doing what you like im just curious about a few things. ;P thats all.
Loser. Getting tattoos based on what other people find offensive means he’s doomed to spending his life based on other peoples thoughts and opinions. Sheep.
At first when reading this, I thought it was hateful, inhumane, and every other negative word you can think of. But I realized that this was just his way of dealing with the world and all the negativity out there. Terrible things happen ever day that we all have to deal with, and sometimes, the best way to deal with it is to laugh. Would I go out of my way to make fun of some one? No. But I do try to find some form of humor in every situation. This guy just seems like a morbid optimist.
In a way, I am able to compare him to a political cartoonist and others like them, who are able to get a message across through humor. It opens our eyes to all of our problems. And if anything else, makes us think “I definitely don’t want to be like them, so how can I make myself a better person?”.
I would like to meet this man and give him a hug and a handshake
i lolled.
I love that “white Power ” thingy.
So, I agree with the people who think this guy’s got a great attitude.. I have no tattoos myself at age 24 though I’ve imagined getting one or two, but mine wouldn’t be anything meaningful..
..point of post: I didn’t realize at first the location of the white power tat.. I literally did a double-take. Then I laughed aloud.
Thanks BME 🙂
“rape it’s time”?
what’s that supposed to mean?
Congratulations on turning your body into a joke
Very interesting to see what kind of people think that tattoos about child rape are hilarious. Sure, he can get whatever the hell he wants tattooed on him in the end. This guy is an absolute sheep, trying to raise the shock value based off of what other’s think.
It must suck to be a talentless hack who has nothing going for him. But, just so *some* of the incredibly intelligent BME users understand: I’m 100% for expression, and I respect him for that, but I’m also 100% in favor of laughing at how pathetic he is and how much of a hack he will always be. It must suck to be an outcast in the world, and I’m quite sure many BME users will understand this (or, more likely, don’t realize it).
whats so bad about a chick with a dick taking a shit? not so hideous really ..it must happen all the time..um..im trying to be offended but im not. the white power unicorn looks like my little pony .. does anyone take white supremacists seriously these days? arent they just fat old white guys with tiny dicks? .er..kid rape..well its not something you’d do on a first date. i suppose it upsets most people so has some value?… kind of boring..the last taboo.. something must offend me.
all we need is a penis shot of this kid.
as a vegan, bi sexual, buddhist, rape victim, who hates ignorance, discrimination, trashyness, violence, animal cruelty and hates pointless stupid tattooes, i find this man to be refreshing, humourous, unbiased and probably one of the most respectable human beings alive.
if we believe in freedom of speech we must respect the people we dont likes freedom of speech too, and this man, has the balls to laugh about everything.
you only have the moment, so why not?
this guys probably a bitch and has never experienced crazy shit or trauma, the only crazy shit he may experience is what he brings upon himself which he might think is intense….virginia?? fuckin goody good wanting to be rebellious and took it too far, and stuck with it for life haha, and if this guy goes to prison for cocaine like he said, he is fucked with those tattoos.
every human gets bored within 2 or 3 years on average with most of the things… including tatoos. Useless
I now have restored faith in humanity!
I can’t believe people don’t like this and want to ‘lynch him’ etc.
Lynch him? Fucking make him president more like!
To all those people saying “I bet a rape victim wouldn’t find it funny” and similar.
I’m a rape victim, and nothing offends me more than people who haven’t experienced that taking it upon themselves to defend those who have. Get off your high horses. As Nicole (#56) was saying- I’m not a broken, traumatised person. I still have a sense of humour. Stop being so patronising and get over yourselves!
Personally, I think his tattoos are fantastic. Not anything that I would have myself, but he is staying true to himself and doing what he wants to, regardless of what others think. I say good on him- much more interesting than those thousands of rose tattoos with “Mum” written underneath.
I’m going to have to agree with Bob and david. It didn’t offend me, but it didn’t make me laugh either. And this guy acknowledging how bad of a person he is? IIt sounds like he’s just trying to look cool by acting rebellious.
“You may be well intentioned, but really, you’re infantilizing the people you’re trying to speak for, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s to give yourself some kind of holier-than-though white-knight power trip. At the expense of rape victims.”
My sentiments exactly. Very astute.
“Rape it’s time” offends me because of its content, but mostly because of the idiotic ordering of the words. The chest tat is kind of cool but not terribly original, the dog is sad, and the others are just gross. Overall, I think this guy’s tattoos are ugly, tasteless, and not funny, but if anyone tries to infringe on his right to do what he likes with his body, I’ll certainly join in the defense of his freedom.
This guy is a walking aristocrats joke!
Sick. In the bad way.
I don’t care if it is supposed to be funny, it isn’t. It is sad. The only good thing about this guys art is the actual artistic abilities. What a waste of good skin…..
Really funny. So hilarious. Wow. These are so funny. I can feel the world changing for the better already. This guy is a brilliant hero. This kind of rebellion really shines a light. A man this interesting and insightful must really be fascinating to talk to and know. I wish this interview lasted forever.
I see only stuff that degrades things he is not. Where’s the tattoo that brutalizes dumb normal young white men? If he’s really being so clever and humanitarian, why are all his “jokes” at the expense of already marginalized groups of which he is not a member? It’s pretty easy to think the race-hatred of white nazis, harming of animals, raping of children and mocking and applying shit to transsexuals and women is a riot when you actually have no insight on experiencing these ideas from the victim end. I do not question his right to decorate himself as he pleases, but I also do not feel ashamed to admit that I look at and consider the meanings that images express, and I’m not buying this as an act of enlightenment.
It looks like someone is trying too hard. Oh well, at least it got you an interview.
Yawn.
LOL.
it says “its rape time” you idiots
http://ugliesttattoos.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/babyfucker_jessica-P.jpg
hahahaha the baby fucking tattoo is awesome
“contributing NOTHING to society allows for the rest of it to look down their noses at him and spit on him when he’s sleeping in a gutter on the side of the road.”
Being a musician is contributing nothing to society? does that translate to ALL artists, or just the people you don’t personally admire?
holy shit, this is still going?!?
i was too harsh. if Mike wants to get raped, thats his choice!
LOL
nice art
yeah that’s right FetusFajitas666….. because fucking babies &/or joking about fucking babies is so awesome.
Mike Beer – You think you’re really clever with these oh so offensive tattoos… I look forward to the day you get locked up in jail for something…. anything… you’re gonna get fucked 😀
hahaha, liam is sad
sad? i’m happy. with pretty much every aspect of my fucking great life. i make lots of money in a piss-easy 9-5 job. my gorgeous wife and kid love me. my dad never once tried to fuck me. i guess that’s where we differ.
each to their own hey…. i used to think it was all ‘punk rock’ to offend as many people as i could… but really, i will laugh when you get (as you put it) ‘surprise sexxed’…
hey you could get modblogged as the guy with the stretched rectum 🙂
Liam…..let’s be serious here for a second…..i’m sure there are plenty of guys with much more stretched out rectums then mine will ever be. try google searching a little thing called “ass punching”
i bet you will be able to beat the record one day…
LOL
and their music sucks too..what a complete package
we’re having fun when everyone else isn’t
omg mike i never knew you were so hated. this rules my frickin world.
can you make your ass shake like a dancer. if not ill teach you. it will be like the unicorn is running.
<3
God damn, is it wrong that I want to make out with this guy? I even dated a transdude for a good while and am not at all offended.
Dear Mike Beer: Come back to DC, or at least play here. Your band is good stuff.
Love this guy. We all need to have bad things stuck in our face.
yo leila, hit me up. we can work something out,
same for you b.g.e.
It would be funny if the guy did another tattoo on the other side of his butt, making fun of black power as well.