Mike Beer and his offensive tattoos have received their fair share of attention on ModBlog, and the reaction has been … mixed, to say the least. Since the dawn of time, humans have wondered what goes through the mind of a person who devotes his skin to tattoos of jokes about child rape, transsexuals and gay Nazis. Today, we get a little closer to answering these questions.
Note: Most of the tattoos featured in this interview have been featured previously on ModBlog.
BME: First of all, tell us about yourself.
Mike Beer: Well, I lived in Northern Virginia my whole life, but recently moved to Atlantic City, New Jersey, to play in my band, Call The Paramedics, full time, as well as to be surrounded by assholes like myself. I have been getting tattooed since I was about 17 and am now about to turn 23. My first tattoo was a small hand-poked pentagram on my ankle, which I have had fixed so that it no longer looks like garbage, but I’ve had mad love for Satan since the beginning.
Humor is very important to me. However, since I would say I am rather desensitized to almost everything, the things that are hilarious to me are not very amusing to others, which is what brings us to this interview.
BME: Indeed it does. Have you always been an attention whore?
MB: Yes, I’ve been an attention whore for pretty much as long as I can remember — mainly because, when I was real little, my parents would beat me, lock me in the cellar, and occasionally make me put put on sex shows with our German Shepherd for them and all their friends while they would drink moonshine and throw dixie cups of scalding hot water on me. (Throughout my childhood, our dog Roxy was my best friend.)
I guess nowadays I’m just finding my outlet for all the pain and humiliation I endured as a kid … or maybe I just want to have an excuse to take off my clothes in front of strangers and everything I just said was a lie. Who really knows?
BME: Alright, enough of your yarns. How would you describe your sense of humor? What’s funny to you?
MB: I’d have to say my sense of humor is a cross between “modern” and extremely ignorant. I’ll make a joke out of anything: cripples, old people, blacks, Jews, Mexicans, whites … and any other things I may have forgotten. Your dog dies? Funny. You have a death in the family? Funny. A girl and her boyfriend have been trying for a long time to have a child, they finally get pregnant and eight months into the pregnancy she has a miscarriage? Hilarious. But don’t worry folks, whatever I dish out I can take in return.
BME: So it’s less to do with being funny and more to do with being an awful human being. Got it. Anyway, your declaration of love for Satan aside, what was the first “offensive” tattoo you got? Tell us about it.
MB: First “offensive” tattoo I got was the man with a pussy eating himself on my leg, although nobody ever really found it to be offensive. Shortly after getting that, I got the chick with a cock shitting on herself. Both tattoos were done by Eric Doyle at Jinx Proof Tattoo in Washington, D.C. Many people were not happy with chick with the cock, so I’d consider those my first offensive tattoos. I originally just wanted the guy eating himself and at the last minute decided he should have a pussy. The idea for the chick with the cock was merely an attempt at some kind of symmetry on my legs. And again, the poop was added last minute.
BME: Hey, when you’re right, you’re right — the poop certainly adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the piece. What came next?
MB: If I’m not mistaken, the white power unicorn tattoo came next. It was all downhill from there.
BME: The white power unicorn is offensive to pretty much every imaginable group. What was the thought process behind that one? Did you feel like you were crossing a certain threshold once you got a Nazi swastika tattooed on you, the ridiculous context and the fact that it was for the sake of a joke notwithstanding?
MB: The Nazi unicorn was also pretty spontaneous. My buddy Jason wanted to tattoo this piece of unicorn flash and couldn’t find anyone who wanted it, and I was obviously game under certain conditions — that is, I told him it had to be the most hateful unicorn ever. The best reaction I’ve ever gotten was, “How could something so beautiful be so ugly?”
For the record, I am not a Nazi — I just like to make fun of everything. People need to lighten up, and if they don’t like what I’m about? That’s fine with me, join the rest of the crowd. I didn’t really feel like I crossed over some kind of line, but that is pretty much when I decided that damn near every tattoo I got from then on needed to come close or outdo the last one, and I’ve been making good progress, with plans for much more.
BME: Have you gotten any memorably bad reactions to your work?
MB: Nothing that really stands out. I’ve noticed my mom on several occasions looking at the trannies on my legs; she knows that they are there but never really says anything. I’d imagine she is just bottling it up deep down inside and never letting it out. I’ve had trannies actually come up to me after they saw my legs, and they thought it was hilarious. Surprisingly enough I’ve gotten the most negative response on here, which is funny because some of the most horrible things I’ve seen were on BME. It’s kind of ironic.
BME: While I’ve got you here, why don’t you tell me a bit about your band.
MB: Well, I play drums in Call The Paramedics. We’re Atlantic City–based scumbag death rock. I guess our music could be described as Cannibal Corpse raping AC/DC while El Duce narrates. We attack the crowd, our singer cuts his face open, I blow fire, and this is all accompanied with massive amounts of cocaine. I’ve been told the music is pretty good too. You could say we’re for fans of GG Allin, rape, dirty needles, golden showers, cars parked in front of handicapped ramps, elderly shut-ins, and people broke down on the side of the road due to massive car pile ups from wandering stray dogs on the highway.
BME: Well, that sounds … great. Does anything offend you? Do you think it’s possible to go too far? Humor me here.
MB: Eh, not really. There are plenty of things that I think are wrong, but it doesn’t mean I won’t make a joke out of it. For example, I love animals, but I just got a dog in a kennel being put down tattooed on my leg. I would probably never rape a little kid, but I have “It’s rape time” with candy and little kids’ body parts tattooed on me, and so on. I live in an area and am friends with some of the most rotten people on the planet; around here it’s an ongoing battle of who can really lower the bar. I just want to fit in, you know?
BME: Nice of you to mention that you’d “probably” never rape a little kid. Classy. So where do you go from here?
MB: Aside from hell? There is nowhere to go but down. Oh, for all the ladies on here, holla at me. I’m a great “bring-home-to-the-parents” kind of guy.
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Comments
156 responses to “The Man With the World’s Most Tasteless Tattoos”
For people who thought my “lynching” comment was serious, click the link to my page. A little investigation goes a long way 😉
ditto on the trying to hard comment. way to go, man, you have the weirdest collection of tattoos ever. really, really good job.
nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity is for fucking 14 year olds.
great….you ‘haters’ are proving whats wrong with the world today…i bet most of you people that do not like his tats, or ideals are from USA too…last i remember America was the land of the free!! yet no one wants anyone to be ‘free’ to do what they want…
i love his tats, and ideals…even though as been stated some look like they were done by a child…but maybe thats the point in those tats…
laughter is the best medicine…
#47, you’re right. As a rape survivor, the trauma completely destroyed my sense of irony and black humor– oh wait, no, I’m still the same thinking human being I always was, and not some broken doll that needs idiots to protect my imagined fragility from OMG TASTELESS JOKES. You may be well intentioned, but really, you’re infantilizing the people you’re trying to speak for, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s to give yourself some kind of holier-than-though white-knight power trip. At the expense of rape victims.
Anyway, while the motivation behind the tattoos seems rather simplistic and perhaps immature, and the humor is a bit on par with sixth grade gross out contests, I can’t deny that the thought of someone walking around with a candy colored white power unicorn makes me giggle a tiny bit, and I’m always cool with making racists the subject of mockery. The “It’s rape time!” tattoo is no more offensive to me than any other “let’s use the shock value of something truly vile to evoke cheap laffs” gag– remember that if Mr. Beer wasn’t aware that child rape was widely considered heinous, there’d be no humor to him in the tattoo. (Or in what I took as an obvious joke when he said he’d “probably” never rape a child. Are there really people dumb enough to believe that, if he did want to rape kids, he’d be dumb enough to talk about it casually? Then again, if there are people stupid enough to believe that, there could be a kidfucker equally so, but I digress.)
And I could totally see someone who was radical about animal rights getting that puppy tattoo. Then again, I can totally see a watersports enthusiast getting that urinal tattoo, showing that like so much art, it’s all about context.
It’s a shame he doesn’t still live in Virginia. Because I do, and I would love to beat the fuck out of him.
Rofl, even better. I’m a drummer as well, and let me say. You’re aweful lul.
shit the bed. did I strike a nerve? someone touch your wee wee when you were little. maybe your mom is white and your stepdad is black and it eats you up inside. I come to VA all the time, shoot me a message sometime, we can link up.
to everyone else who has a sense of humor, or atleast an open mind, thank you. I had a blast doing this interview, nothing but respect for everyone doing their thing at BME and keeping it going.
one luv
2pac
Good God Jordan….
Could you have you have handled that any worse?
You have the steadfast demeanor of a hormone replacement patient on an overdose.
Thanks again for contributing to the demise of modblog.
Shannon, I miss you so much in these dark, dark times.
#56 – “holier-than-thou white-night power trip”. Please don’t judge someone if you don’t know them. You’re right – I get my kicks at the expense of rape victims.
i totally don’t see euthanasia depicted in the dog one.. and im a vet tech! to me it just looks like a sad dog with an IVC (which by the way, is def. wrapped differently in real life than in the tattoo) i mean, you can’t even see “the pink juice” in the line… maybe i’ve just seen way to many euths
having spent a convention or two with mike, i have nothing but awe and respect.
to have something that terrible permanantly on you takes balls and a great sense of humor.
keep rockin
Maybe spending time with too many 13 year olds has desensitised me, but that’s just pathetic. Arseholes are arseholes, regardless of how ironic/humourous/edgy they think they are.
That white supremist unicorn tattoo has been one of my favourites since I first saw it, it always sticks in my mind and I often bring it up in conversations about ‘best tattoos ever’ XD The “How could something so beautiful be so ugly?” comment really made me laugh. Rather than be offended, I think this CAN be turned around into something positive – at least he is putting it out there, makes you think like “yeah, child rape is bad! lets go volunteer or donate some money for abused kids” or “aww that poor puppy, lets support the RSPCA!” or “Nazis are bad, I’m going to go hug my Jewish best friend!”. See, like it or not, the bitching and whining and being offended in a blog comment isn’t actually getting anything done, is it? It is always my initial reaction to be annoyed by these types of tattoos, because I know what it is like to be treated like a retard just for having tattoos, and this doesn’t really help, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that bitching in a blog isn’t going to put a stop to that attitude or stop people getting whatever they want tattooed on them. Just makes it worse guys.
What a tool.
who put this /b/ in modblog?
Cool chestpiece, and the puppy’s really well done. Don’t like the other ones, though…
I don’t agree with offensive tats, but you’re a living challenge to anyone who fills his/her mouth with freedom words and then judges people like you…
Keep it up!
Cheers!
A) I’m not “hatin’”, I’m just expressing a personal taste, and god knows we don’t all have to agree on one.
B) No, fuzzy nuts, I’m not American, I don’t care for patriotism in any guise anyways, and way to go reducing it to some assumed national stereotype.
C) Did I ever, anywhere, say dude shouldn’t get those partictular tattoos, shouldn’t offend whoever the hell he pleases? In fact, did anyone in this thread say that?
I’m just sayig that while funny is often offensive, offensive doesn’t automatically equal funny. And whatever you get done to yourself, don’t expect everyone to stand up and applaude just because we make use of the same freedoms and the same techniques.
If you want to make an olympic discipline out of getting bad tattoos, be my guest. But you put yourself out there inviting people to comment, and comment they will.
And it amuses me that all kinds of people throw themselves into this debate to defend Mike’s bad tastes, except Mike himself.
Now there’s the one thing he and I probably agree on: you know what they say about arguing over the internet…
#27
“PS: way to go BME!
you continue to give attention to the wrong people and help support the filth that makes all modified people look like scum. stupid, just plain stupid.”
I completely agree. I happen to find some of his work funny, but I think it does contribute to making all of us look like scummy assholes. Couldn’t ModBlog focus on good work in general? I miss Shannon.
#46, Randolph, just because someone doesn’t agree with you start flaming them saying they’re trash and that they’ve probably only got an ear and a tongue piercing? Right. I agree with Heretic 138 and believe me I’m not lacking in the visible mod department.
Mike’s response was #59.
I dont think he feels he needs to defend himself, fwiw.
Humor is always the best way of dealing with shit. Listen, I love this guys tattoos and I think they’re fucking hilarious. People who get offended need to get the Hell over themselves. And to #8, the “activist,” your self-righteousness is more of a plea for attention than Mike Beer’s is.
Words and symbols only have the power you give them, if you choose to get offended, then you’re someone who accepts the shame of history and thinks that people don’t get victimized every day. The world is harsh, cold, and sometimes children get raped. I’d rather laugh about it than worry and offend myself into suicide.
Not to make a habit of these sorts of explanations, but…
To people suggesting that this sort of article makes all tattooed people look bad: The article is entitled “The Man With the World’s Most Tasteless Tattoos.” The introduction to the article specifically makes note of the fact that when his tattoos have been featured on BME, the reaction has been very mixed. That is to say, efforts were made to indicate that Mr. Beer and his taste for the obscene are by no means the norm for tattooed and otherwise body-modified people.
As well, when Mr. Beer’s tattoos have been featured on ModBlog in the past, more than once, it was requested that he be interviewed. He has now been interviewed. The subject matter was decidedly low-brow and not particularly serious, and I thought the tone of the interview should reflect that.
Lastly and conversely, when my interview with the very thoughtful and intelligent Diego was posted a little while ago, very few people commented about what a relief it was to see modified people being portrayed as intelligent and thoughtful—in fact, very few people commented at all. Sometimes, it’s hard not to think that some people prefer to join the conversation when they have something to complain about.
Just for the record, Mike Beer, is as genuinely and honestly fucked up of a person as I have ever met. When people constantly remind me I am going to hell, I take comfort in knowing Mike will be with me. Amen, brother.
In fairness; there hasn’t been an article about someone wanting to eat HIV+ human feces in months.
Re: the “old” modblog.
Re Shawn 71;
That’s what I meant, sorry if it was badly worded: Mike doesn’t seem to feel he needs to defend himself, but everyone else is sort of picking up a cause he doesn’t even seem to have.
jordan ur a fucking wanker all the questions u gave the guy were in a really sarcastic type of
u beta have agd reason for this
the guys got sum rpetty gd tattoos
and hes true bme is the place 2 find some of the most offence tattoos
plus theirs loads of nazi on here
and yes i have a gd understand of the crux gammata
Suggestion: While insulting someone, your opinion may be taken into consideration if you have grammar skills at an seventh grade level or higher.
“a seventh.”
That was a test.
Thumbs up for offensive tattoos. I hope a donkey rapes all of you.
“nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity is for fucking 14 year olds” is kinda what I thought when I read this… though that probably isn’t really the point.
The white power unicorn is just too good (:
Dude Mike Beer is the shit, Ive known this kid for awhile, stand up guy, class act. hah
The interview just makes him seem like an idiot, which may be what he intended, but really, what is the point? He’s another person who has basically nothing to say — he just happens to have lots of tattoos, and even they aren’t that interesting, except for the fact that they’re so obviously calculated to offend. And that would only be truly interesting if there was a reason for it, beyond a long, boring, stupid joke that isn’t even funny.
this guy is a waste. why not get tattoos that actually mean something instead of ignorant shit like that. all in all, hes a piece of shit in my eyes
I have the same exact humor as this guy. ha. Maybe I should drive over there and kidnap him and make him hang out with me even if he doesn’t want to.
I am all for doing what floats your boat, but after reading the interview, he really seems like a tool.
This guy fucking rules.
I’m still not 100% sure how I feel about him but I loved the article – cheers Jordan!
These comments are great!! Way to bring the entertainment Mike and BME!
“jordan ur a fucking wanker”=
best. comment. ever. so articulate.
also, i took the picture of the kennel dog. so i technically made modblog.
pretty tasteless in fact. I just think he’s got a pretty sick sense of humor and is obvioously making fun out of the one who is interviewing him. looks immature for me, but still harmless… I really think that making fun out of tragedy can be nice to the ones who are suffering from it, but… he is way far the limits for me. thought I can’t accuse him of being a bad person. just an idiot.
David: I bet you fall asleep every night jerking off thinking about how self righteously awesome you are.
this dude has way awesome tattoos.
more people should learn from him and his band.
Shawn Porter:
i wanna go spit on noncontributing pieces of shit with you!
rape time play date anyone?!
Haha…I love the White Power Unicorn.
I think a tattoo of a Teletubby doing a goatse/inserting the kid-faced sun would be quite fun.
People are so horrified of humor.
I’m not particularly offended by people who go out of their way to be offensive, it’s a waste of time and energy. honestly, this guy’s pretty fucking boring.
reading that interview was a waste of my time, oh people what´s the point in interviewing a person that has nothing to say? Irony can only go so far…
yeah uh i’m not really not one to judge,
i dgaf honestly,
everyone does their own thing, if their down for what they do then their chill,
this guy is down,
he has balls, he speaks his mind and makes his jokes through his tattoos and doesn’t give a fuck what others
think about it,
keep at it,
stay individual and don’t fall into the crowd people
wow that is some funny ink.. i love the nazi unicorn. i am not a racist but its a pisser.
Bahahahha I love this guy.
I have to say, this man’s tattoos are amazing, my sense of humor.
people need to realize that life is a damn joke, don’t take it so seriously.
if you take it seriously, you are just part of what we’re making fun of.
Jesus, if your that upset about ModBlog then stop reading it and stop complaining about.
His tattoos are friggen hilarious, my fav. is the white power unicorn.