Mike Beer and his offensive tattoos have received their fair share of attention on ModBlog, and the reaction has been … mixed, to say the least. Since the dawn of time, humans have wondered what goes through the mind of a person who devotes his skin to tattoos of jokes about child rape, transsexuals and gay Nazis. Today, we get a little closer to answering these questions.
Note: Most of the tattoos featured in this interview have been featured previously on ModBlog.
BME: First of all, tell us about yourself.
Mike Beer: Well, I lived in Northern Virginia my whole life, but recently moved to Atlantic City, New Jersey, to play in my band, Call The Paramedics, full time, as well as to be surrounded by assholes like myself. I have been getting tattooed since I was about 17 and am now about to turn 23. My first tattoo was a small hand-poked pentagram on my ankle, which I have had fixed so that it no longer looks like garbage, but I’ve had mad love for Satan since the beginning.
Humor is very important to me. However, since I would say I am rather desensitized to almost everything, the things that are hilarious to me are not very amusing to others, which is what brings us to this interview.
BME: Indeed it does. Have you always been an attention whore?
MB: Yes, I’ve been an attention whore for pretty much as long as I can remember — mainly because, when I was real little, my parents would beat me, lock me in the cellar, and occasionally make me put put on sex shows with our German Shepherd for them and all their friends while they would drink moonshine and throw dixie cups of scalding hot water on me. (Throughout my childhood, our dog Roxy was my best friend.)
I guess nowadays I’m just finding my outlet for all the pain and humiliation I endured as a kid … or maybe I just want to have an excuse to take off my clothes in front of strangers and everything I just said was a lie. Who really knows?
BME: Alright, enough of your yarns. How would you describe your sense of humor? What’s funny to you?
MB: I’d have to say my sense of humor is a cross between “modern” and extremely ignorant. I’ll make a joke out of anything: cripples, old people, blacks, Jews, Mexicans, whites … and any other things I may have forgotten. Your dog dies? Funny. You have a death in the family? Funny. A girl and her boyfriend have been trying for a long time to have a child, they finally get pregnant and eight months into the pregnancy she has a miscarriage? Hilarious. But don’t worry folks, whatever I dish out I can take in return.
BME: So it’s less to do with being funny and more to do with being an awful human being. Got it. Anyway, your declaration of love for Satan aside, what was the first “offensive” tattoo you got? Tell us about it.
MB: First “offensive” tattoo I got was the man with a pussy eating himself on my leg, although nobody ever really found it to be offensive. Shortly after getting that, I got the chick with a cock shitting on herself. Both tattoos were done by Eric Doyle at Jinx Proof Tattoo in Washington, D.C. Many people were not happy with chick with the cock, so I’d consider those my first offensive tattoos. I originally just wanted the guy eating himself and at the last minute decided he should have a pussy. The idea for the chick with the cock was merely an attempt at some kind of symmetry on my legs. And again, the poop was added last minute.
BME: Hey, when you’re right, you’re right — the poop certainly adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the piece. What came next?
MB: If I’m not mistaken, the white power unicorn tattoo came next. It was all downhill from there.
BME: The white power unicorn is offensive to pretty much every imaginable group. What was the thought process behind that one? Did you feel like you were crossing a certain threshold once you got a Nazi swastika tattooed on you, the ridiculous context and the fact that it was for the sake of a joke notwithstanding?
MB: The Nazi unicorn was also pretty spontaneous. My buddy Jason wanted to tattoo this piece of unicorn flash and couldn’t find anyone who wanted it, and I was obviously game under certain conditions — that is, I told him it had to be the most hateful unicorn ever. The best reaction I’ve ever gotten was, “How could something so beautiful be so ugly?”
For the record, I am not a Nazi — I just like to make fun of everything. People need to lighten up, and if they don’t like what I’m about? That’s fine with me, join the rest of the crowd. I didn’t really feel like I crossed over some kind of line, but that is pretty much when I decided that damn near every tattoo I got from then on needed to come close or outdo the last one, and I’ve been making good progress, with plans for much more.
BME: Have you gotten any memorably bad reactions to your work?
MB: Nothing that really stands out. I’ve noticed my mom on several occasions looking at the trannies on my legs; she knows that they are there but never really says anything. I’d imagine she is just bottling it up deep down inside and never letting it out. I’ve had trannies actually come up to me after they saw my legs, and they thought it was hilarious. Surprisingly enough I’ve gotten the most negative response on here, which is funny because some of the most horrible things I’ve seen were on BME. It’s kind of ironic.
BME: While I’ve got you here, why don’t you tell me a bit about your band.
MB: Well, I play drums in Call The Paramedics. We’re Atlantic City–based scumbag death rock. I guess our music could be described as Cannibal Corpse raping AC/DC while El Duce narrates. We attack the crowd, our singer cuts his face open, I blow fire, and this is all accompanied with massive amounts of cocaine. I’ve been told the music is pretty good too. You could say we’re for fans of GG Allin, rape, dirty needles, golden showers, cars parked in front of handicapped ramps, elderly shut-ins, and people broke down on the side of the road due to massive car pile ups from wandering stray dogs on the highway.
BME: Well, that sounds … great. Does anything offend you? Do you think it’s possible to go too far? Humor me here.
MB: Eh, not really. There are plenty of things that I think are wrong, but it doesn’t mean I won’t make a joke out of it. For example, I love animals, but I just got a dog in a kennel being put down tattooed on my leg. I would probably never rape a little kid, but I have “It’s rape time” with candy and little kids’ body parts tattooed on me, and so on. I live in an area and am friends with some of the most rotten people on the planet; around here it’s an ongoing battle of who can really lower the bar. I just want to fit in, you know?
BME: Nice of you to mention that you’d “probably” never rape a little kid. Classy. So where do you go from here?
MB: Aside from hell? There is nowhere to go but down. Oh, for all the ladies on here, holla at me. I’m a great “bring-home-to-the-parents” kind of guy.
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Comments
156 responses to “The Man With the World’s Most Tasteless Tattoos”
interesting…I’m not really sure how I feel about him. I can’t judge him because everyone has their own opinion and take on life. His is just a rather unique case
Oh my god! Your my hero 😀 the balls to make fun of things others wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole!
Marry me?
*thanks for having*
Love that chestpiece
very strange one…
haha. Mike is riot.
I’m fairly sure he flagged me the other night at the bar for drinking too much. I could be wrong though.
So he’s a humanitarian in disguise.
Oy where to start? I guess maybe it’s just me, but being out offend everyone in a very permanent way seems dirty and inhumane and distasteful, but maybe that’s just because I’m a humanitarian and civil rights activist. Unfortunately for me and the people who I work with/for, people who choose to do things like this put our causes back by several decades.
“ooh, I’m an activist!”
What pushes back causes is people taking everything too seriously. There’s a great example in the book Freakonomics of a guy who infiltrated the KKK, learned their secret passwords, and then used them in kids’ radio programs. The best way to take power from a hate group is to make them the butt of a joke, and Mike seems to be doing quite a literal job of that.
And I thought the world couldn’t be more magical, Go Mike! I like the dog being put down tattoo
I think that man is hilarious. He is just doin what he wants, not what everyone wants him to. Its crazy how everyone is taking him seriously.
great article ^^ i’ve been curious about this guy since i’ve saw the “white power” tattoo..it really didn’t offend me, a nazi wouldn’t do a tattoo like that xD i’ve found it hilarious…and the “rape time” tattoo?people commented on that saying that if someone knew or have been raped wouldn’t find that funny…but that’s just another way of facing things, some people bottle all up, some people make fun of it and then move on…i think that’s the better way, facing it and then keep going with your life…
i’m an animal lover, i don’t accept raping and child-abuse, i’m a supporter of gay marriage…and i can laugh at jokes making fun of it…people take everything too serious….
…oh…and i wouldn’t mind bringing him home to my parents xD that would be quite an adventure…
Hilarious tattoos, awesome band. Props dude.
Oh Mike…..you’re fantastic. <3
I think hes pretty damn funny myself. My only problem with his tattoos were that some of them could have been preformed better, but that dog one looks like it was executed great!
Keep it up mike, im a fan!
not a big fan of satan myself but that chestpiece is sick, who’s the artist
This guy is funny as fuck! The gaping anal tattoo on his leg is classic. i agree with him on the fact that you cant say shit about being offended with some of the shit thats on this website, really get over it. His tattoos are funny.
This guy needs to be put down like the dog he is! Lynch him.
I would use your mouth as my own personal toilet any day baby. class act.
hahaha, all of you people who are trying to lash out at him by saying things like “lynch him” are just making him get an even bigger kick out of what he’s done. mike is piece of shit, a dear piece of shit.
Lynch him?
Really?
Lets just make sure I’ve got this correct…
If someone things differently than you, lynch them?
That about it?
Sounds familiar.
Ps: Peirce…
the high def peeing footage… spot on!
so flush it!
Not tattoos I would want to get, but I gotta laugh. He’s doing life his way and with a great sense of irony. People are ridiculous and he’s showing us how ridiculous we can be.
ok that’s it i’m coming to AC
awesome.
frankly, i was huge fan of this guy’s tattoos… until he got the rape time one. even then i would have been fine with it if it didnt imply child rape. that just went way over the line for me. i kinds get what he’s going for, ive known plenty of moronic scumbags who do the same. but still, i cant help but hope he gets some jail time someday so he can understand first hand why joking about child rape goes way over the line. Even then im not with the lynching crowd…yet. we all get to speak our mind and have our opinions. until they act on it, they got every right.
but the day he diddles some kid is when he loses that right and should be fitted with a rope. personally i think lynching would be too nice.
anyways, cheers to Mike Beers and his bright future as a prison bitch.
PS: way to go BME!
you continue to give attention to the wrong people and help support the filth that makes all modified people look like scum. stupid, just plain stupid.
This guy seems hilarious. Too bad the interviewer talked down to him the whole time. What happened to this site?
I love his nazi unicorn tattoo. The first time I saw it I couldn’t stop laughing.
Funny tattoos, but this interview is ALMOST as much of a joke as the one with that skullboy kid, who was just a stupid no-future streetpunk who took nothing seriously. Don’t get me wrong, taking things less seriously than they should be can be useful in the right context, but contributing NOTHING to society allows for the rest of it to look down their noses at him and spit on him when he’s sleeping in a gutter on the side of the road.
Hilarious.
woah the chest piece is baddass.
the rest is a little off
so it’s ok for me to spit on people if I think they aren’t contributing?
Sweet!
fucking awesome. people do need to lighten up. hilarious offensive tattoos FTW!
absolutely hilarious
The gay dog tat is well done but the rape one looks like it’s been done by an actual child who’s being raped. It’s terrible!
I think some people need to grasp the terms “ironic” and “taboo”.
Not funny, at all.
Not because I’m offended by the tattoos (I am, mildly, by some, and not by others, but it really doesn’t matter much either way). But because he’s simply trying too hard.
Irony requires a certain subtlety which is definitely missing here.
In the end, it’s none of my business what anyone wants to put on their skin, I just hope for you you never grow out of this shallow, kind of adolescent sense of humor.
This guy is my hero! Hilarious tattoos, well and uniquely done.
This is the best. Fucking hilarious stuff.
also, spitting on people who’re in the gutter is pointless, they’re already soggy.
i think his tattoos are hilarious.
and when i saw the dog one i thought it was cute rather than cruel, hahaha.
though, the nazi unicorn still remains my favourite.
I have a pretty tasteless sense of humor a lot of the time, as do some of my friends, but this guy can out do them all haha. I don’t personally find any of his tattoos to be offensive, my favorite is probably the nazi unicorn, or the dude eating himself. But that’s mostly due to a terrible fascination with cannibalism. Anyway, this dude is pretty cool, but his puppy tattoo makes me want to cry haha.
Hey, how come I never met this guy when he lived in NoVA? Damn!
Don’t find any of them personally offensive,in fact kinda funny,except the dog one.He looks so sad! I could never stand to see those eyes all the time! At the end of the day though,his body,his choice.
“PS: way to go BME!
you continue to give attention to the wrong people and help support the filth that makes all modified people look like scum. stupid, just plain stupid.” -Heretic138
I would say yes, WAY TO GO BME! I think it’s creative, unique, fun, and crazy! Also, Heretic138, you say that bme gives attention to the wrong people?! Aren’t you just giving more attention to the personal art of one persons choice? “Help support the filth that makes modified people look like…”, i also thought this was trash. You probably have ear piercings, or a tongue piercing, or generic tattoos, right? Well, those all started out “taboo” and “trashy”, and over time, with opened minded people, it has become less of “your problem”. Maybe Heretic138 just needs to read what he wrote and look at himself a little closer.
Mike, i salute you for being original and creative…
It’s not that I am offended by his tattoos. And I get that they can by funny. But I don’t think that they accomplish much. The irony will only last for so long. And child rape? I guess it is easy to laugh about it if it hasn’t happened to you or someone you know. Somehow I doubt that someone who was a rape victim would get the humour in the tattoo.
for the record, you’re not a nazi? good one.
I don’t find any of the tattoos offensive.
I think, they’d have their time to be funny.
But I’d rather have my funny time spent in JPEG, not on my body..
Tattoos have to accomplish something now?
Shit… I need to pay better attention to Miami Inked.
And yes. Im sure a child rape victim wouldn’t find the humor of that tattoo… but the last time I checked, we didn’t have to clear the images we get tattooed on us through some sort of filter….
“blah blah blah someone’s personal choices who have no effect on me whatsoever absolutely offend me so I’m going to say that he’s an awful human being and that we should lynch him.”
oh fuckin jeez. lighten up, people.
fuck miami ink/ la ink/all new ink shows that will come out now
Such a funny interview! I loved this.