[Whoa, Momma!] So this slutty sex doll, whatshername, Barbie, took a break from getting abortions and giving herself roofies to get some tattoos, just in time for her 50th birthday! This week’s overblown and self-important tattoo-related outrage comes from various people who are VERY OFFENDED that international drug cartel Mattel has released “Totally Stylin’ Tattoo Barbie,” a children’s toy that comes with 40 different temporary tattoos that will keep this bitch from ever getting a job, as well as a “tattoo gun” for the kids to give themselves their own temporary tattoos, which is completely inappropriate, apparently.
Yes, that’s right, a tattoo gun so instead of applying it with a wet wash cloth, 8 year-olds can simulate that milestone in every minor’s life experience of actual needles pumping permanent dye into their growing bodies.
Again, this has nothing to do with tattoos for consenting adults, but everything to do with age-appropriate toys. And in my humble opinion, the age 5 designated on the box is off by about 20 years and a hepatitis C shot.
This piece was squeezed from the mindgrapes of the Suburban Diva herself, Tracey Henry, who is positively aghast that CHILDREN will be using a FAKE TATTOO GUN, which is really just a stamp, essentially, but righteous indignation over stamps doesn’t get you featured on CNN, I guess.
There will be some who disagree, pointing out that Barbie is just keeping up with what’s in style right now and that this is merely a toy that kids can play make-believe like other adult activities.
I counter that bellbottoms and leg-warmers didn’t need to be removed with laser treatments and Barbie’s Dream Wedding gown didn’t come with bottles of Tequila for a pretend open-bar reception.
In conclusion, Tracey Henry was probably paid to write this.
[The Live Feed] Because there aren’t quite enough tattoo-related television shows, it was just announced that A&E will be airing Tattoo Highway, a reality program in which Thomas Pendleton, formerly of A&E’s Inked, will continue to tattoo people on camera, but there’s an important twist:
In “Tattoo Highway,” Pendelton and his wife and business partner, Monica (who also appeared on “Inked”), have transformed a 1970s tour bus into a mobile tattoo parlor. They will travel to cities including Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Phoenix and Salt Lake City, inking customers.
Boom. Nailed it. The bus angle worked wonders for Bret Michaels and his skank-banging, so it should really come as no surprise that others are picking up on this as the next big thing. I see big, big things for the future of reality television—big, bus-related things. The network is clearly thrilled about the prospect:
Executive producer Bob Horowitz said the traveling element will differentiate the show from previous tattoo docusoaps.
“All the other series have been based in tattoo parlors,” he said. “Here the premise is this is the first tattoo parlor on wheels, and he goes where the stories are. Imagine all the things that can happen when you take something like this on the road and all the things that can happen.”
Never mind that Horowitz is shamelessly hyping what is by far the worst part of these tattoos shows—namely, that great tattoos must have some big and important story behind them—but man, how exciting does he think a husband and wife going on a road trip is going to be, vocation notwithstanding? Are they going to be chased by land pirates? Did Dennis Hopper plant a bomb on the bottom of the bus that’ll explode if the speed falls below 50 mph?
“From the creation of the art to the environment that I tattooed in, it has always been about my customers’ experience,” Pendelton said. “In a street shop, it was easy to forget just how personal that experience should be. Rolling up and parking the shop right in the middle of someone’s life, well, there is nothing more personal than that.”
AND THEN THE BUS EXPLODES! No? OK, fine, whatever.
[Needles and Sins] Speaking of new blog ventures, fiery redhead and friend of BME, Marisa Kakoulas DiMattia, has escaped the evil (not so evil?) clutches of Needled and has struck out on her own with Needles and Sins, which promises the same lurid, untamed filth we’ve come to expect from her. Today, she offers a thorough review of the iPhone’s new “Tattoo Shop” application, which lets users ruin their perfectly good photos with the demon’s ink. Some of her findings included:
– [T]he biggest problem: the choice of artwork or lack thereof — and I use “artwork” almost facetiously. SonicBoom partnered with flash peddlers TattooJohnny.com but instead of loading up on, say, the cool Bob Tyrrell and Tim Creed commercial designs, the app finds itself heavy on the old Cherry Creek-styled jammies — aka tribal armbands abound and pin-ups with big 80s hair.
[…]
– [T]he leafy panties on the female belly skin is just disturbing. It looks like lettuce is growing from her vulva to her waist. It did make me hungry for a nice Greek salad though. [Ed. note: Gotta say … that description had the opposite effect on me. Thanks, though.]
[…]
– The coolest thing about the app: using your own photos or being able to take one on the spot. I shot my non-tattooed sis to let her see what she’s look like with a Tyson tribal on her face. As the kids say, “Hawt!”
Listen lady, I know you think you’re all hip now that you’re back in New York, but the kids aren’t saying “Hawt!” The kids are riding buses, everywhere, into each others’ lives, and raping each other, with Barbies. Nice blog, though.
Comments
68 responses to “Full Coverage: Links From All Over (March 6, 2009)”
I think her clothes look far trashier than the fake tattoos would… but yeah I actually am totally planning to buy one of these..for real.
I think her clothes look far trashier than the fake tattoos would… but yeah I actually am totally planning to buy one of these..for real.
This is easily my favorite on-line discussion at the moment. 😉
#8: I’d like some of those too, and then can construct a mobile.
#9: I thought of the same thing. I’ve seen fake/temporary tattoos in vending machines at grocery stores, available at booths in theme parks and in general they are fairly easy to purchase. But no one is making a big fuss about that. Let’s discourage the children from face painting too, as that can lead to wanting facial tattoos down the line, and god knows we can’t have that happening.
#22: Oddly enough I have a vague memory of that doll. Most likely due to thinking to was cool at that time. *haha*
This is easily my favorite on-line discussion at the moment. 😉
#8: I’d like some of those too, and then can construct a mobile.
#9: I thought of the same thing. I’ve seen fake/temporary tattoos in vending machines at grocery stores, available at booths in theme parks and in general they are fairly easy to purchase. But no one is making a big fuss about that. Let’s discourage the children from face painting too, as that can lead to wanting facial tattoos down the line, and god knows we can’t have that happening.
#22: Oddly enough I have a vague memory of that doll. Most likely due to thinking to was cool at that time. *haha*
i want that barbie! haha.
they already sell fake tattoo “airbrush” guns in the toy section of wal-mart.
is there a diffrence?
and no thanks for another tattoo show, the rest already suck.
i want that barbie! haha.
they already sell fake tattoo “airbrush” guns in the toy section of wal-mart.
is there a diffrence?
and no thanks for another tattoo show, the rest already suck.
” * would have to crawl to support her top-heavy frame.
* would only have room for a radius OR an ulna in her arms.
* would only have room for a tibia OR a fibula in her legs.
* would only have room for an esophogus OR a trachea in her neck (she could either eat OR breathe . . . we guess she must just breathe)
* would wear a size 3 children’s shoe
* would have a severly distorted face (like the pictures of aliens), due to the almost triple average size of her head. ”
is this not a bad influence? the fake tattoos are not going to make barbie any worse..
” * would have to crawl to support her top-heavy frame.
* would only have room for a radius OR an ulna in her arms.
* would only have room for a tibia OR a fibula in her legs.
* would only have room for an esophogus OR a trachea in her neck (she could either eat OR breathe . . . we guess she must just breathe)
* would wear a size 3 children’s shoe
* would have a severly distorted face (like the pictures of aliens), due to the almost triple average size of her head. ”
is this not a bad influence? the fake tattoos are not going to make barbie any worse..
ps that was for barbie if she was life size
ps that was for barbie if she was life size
Some retailers aren’t selling the contemporary inked doll
BY JENNIFER PALMER
Published: March 12, 2009
It appears tattoos are still taboo, even when they appear on Barbie.
That’s right: Barbie got inked. Totally Stylin’ Tattoos Barbie was released last week by Mattel on the eve of the icon’s 50th anniversary.
The doll retails for about $20, wears a sparkly pink top and jeans and comes with temporary “tattoos for you” and a tattoo gun “stamper.” The controversial new doll is, of course, a hot item.
Several online and brick-and-mortar toy stores already are sold out of the doll, and dozens are listed for sale on eBay.
But no need to jump on eBay just yet. Target and Kmart stores both said they have the doll in stock, and earlier this week, at least one local Target store had several on shelves.
One notable omission: Walmart. The inked Barbie was not listed on the Web site and a spokeswoman declined to say whether the store planned to stock the doll or was avoiding controversy.
Amazon. com reports the doll is currently No. 5 on the site’s list of bestselling dolls.
The online retailer said it has seen an increase in sales of the doll but couldn’t provide specifics.
Cheryl Johnston, manager of Kmart in Tulsa, said the story also had the doll but hadn’t seen much interest.
Toys R Us did not return calls for this story, but at an Oklahoma City Toys R Us store earlier this week, the Barbie appeared to be sold out.
Comments posted to Toys R Us, Amazon. com and other sites ranged from: “I love tattoo Barbie. She is edgy and cool,” to “I cannot believe this,” and “I think the doll encourages young girls to go off and show their bodies.
”
Angie Scheer of Edmond said she wouldn’t buy a Totally Stylin’ Tattoos Barbie for her 11- and 13-year-old daughters because she doesn’t want them to think tattoos are OK.
“Just because Barbie’s doing it doesn’t make it right,” she said.
[Posted today on MySpace by: http://www.myspace.com/stoptattoodiscrimination
Some retailers aren’t selling the contemporary inked doll
BY JENNIFER PALMER
Published: March 12, 2009
It appears tattoos are still taboo, even when they appear on Barbie.
That’s right: Barbie got inked. Totally Stylin’ Tattoos Barbie was released last week by Mattel on the eve of the icon’s 50th anniversary.
The doll retails for about $20, wears a sparkly pink top and jeans and comes with temporary “tattoos for you” and a tattoo gun “stamper.” The controversial new doll is, of course, a hot item.
Several online and brick-and-mortar toy stores already are sold out of the doll, and dozens are listed for sale on eBay.
But no need to jump on eBay just yet. Target and Kmart stores both said they have the doll in stock, and earlier this week, at least one local Target store had several on shelves.
One notable omission: Walmart. The inked Barbie was not listed on the Web site and a spokeswoman declined to say whether the store planned to stock the doll or was avoiding controversy.
Amazon. com reports the doll is currently No. 5 on the site’s list of bestselling dolls.
The online retailer said it has seen an increase in sales of the doll but couldn’t provide specifics.
Cheryl Johnston, manager of Kmart in Tulsa, said the story also had the doll but hadn’t seen much interest.
Toys R Us did not return calls for this story, but at an Oklahoma City Toys R Us store earlier this week, the Barbie appeared to be sold out.
Comments posted to Toys R Us, Amazon. com and other sites ranged from: “I love tattoo Barbie. She is edgy and cool,” to “I cannot believe this,” and “I think the doll encourages young girls to go off and show their bodies.
”
Angie Scheer of Edmond said she wouldn’t buy a Totally Stylin’ Tattoos Barbie for her 11- and 13-year-old daughters because she doesn’t want them to think tattoos are OK.
“Just because Barbie’s doing it doesn’t make it right,” she said.
[Posted today on MySpace by: http://www.myspace.com/stoptattoodiscrimination
I bought the Barbie myself and it’s … HAWT!!
Now you kids get off my Brooklyn stoop!
xoxo
Marisa
PS: Love you.
I bought the Barbie myself and it’s … HAWT!!
Now you kids get off my Brooklyn stoop!
xoxo
Marisa
PS: Love you.
so when i was little i did play with barbie. the game my neighbour and i would play was barbie as a sixteen year old forced to care for her wicked mother’s adopted child when she meets the love of her life 19 year old ken. kids were so much more wholesome in the old days, no? my parents probably would have LOVED if barbie was just getting stickers and not statutorily raped in the attack of the dream house.
so when i was little i did play with barbie. the game my neighbour and i would play was barbie as a sixteen year old forced to care for her wicked mother’s adopted child when she meets the love of her life 19 year old ken. kids were so much more wholesome in the old days, no? my parents probably would have LOVED if barbie was just getting stickers and not statutorily raped in the attack of the dream house.
and by ‘attack’, i obviously meant ‘attic’ – freudian slip, je pense.
and by ‘attack’, i obviously meant ‘attic’ – freudian slip, je pense.