Suz wrote me with some pretty pictures of a series of stripes that Blair branded around her already very scarred left arm. I’ve seen other self-harm reclamation pieces that Blair has done, where he’s done scarification over top of scars that the wearer has mixed feelings about, so I asked Suz a little more about it and she was kind enough to write back,
I had been self harming for years and it wasn’t going to be possible to tattoo over. I had originally thought of skin peels as I have some done by Sammpa that turned out nicely. However, when i got chatting to Blair we decided to go for Hyfrecator branding as I was only visiting Canada, and the chance of infection would’ve been too high with a skin peel.
It was complete fluke that I met Blair too — I got directed to New Tribe when I was over in Canada two years ago and Blair happened to be working that day. He saw my arm and we got chatting about me getting some work done, and, next thing I know it’s a year later and we have a design pretty much planned and I’m flying back over to see him! It was an experience I’ll never forget. I’ve got a substantial amount of mods but I’ve never had one that has completely changed my outlook on my body and how people perceive me.
There are more pictures after the break including some very sore looking fresh ones. The thing I really love about this type of work is that it takes something with negative connotations and transforms it into something beautiful, but without covering it up or being “dishonest” about life’s history (not that there’s anything wrong with the cover-up route either).
Comments
94 responses to “Self-Harm to Self-Love”
I would love to have stripes. Ink though 🙂
I would love to have stripes. Ink though 🙂
That is some serious deep cutting. I hope you’ve been able to quit, suz. Some of those look pretty fresh though. =(
That is some serious deep cutting. I hope you’ve been able to quit, suz. Some of those look pretty fresh though. =(
She is so beautiful.
She is so beautiful.
I’ve often thought about incorporating scarification into my existing self injury scars, so I can appreciate the motivation behind it.
I’ve often thought about incorporating scarification into my existing self injury scars, so I can appreciate the motivation behind it.
ouch, those brands look nastily painful! she must have a fucking high pain tolerance.
ouch, those brands look nastily painful! she must have a fucking high pain tolerance.
This looks beautiful; I’m really happy to see her reclaiming her body because I know how hard it can be to come to terms with your scars :)And Xenabiologista: for me, the difference is to do with motivation. “Self-harm” for me was always about anger and pain, and letting things out through my skin, and not in a positive way. It can be seen as a coping mechanism, but in my life it was definitely something self-destructive. In my opinion blood play and ritual cutting are very different, because they’re about enjoying your body, not hating yourself.
This looks beautiful; I’m really happy to see her reclaiming her body because I know how hard it can be to come to terms with your scars :)And Xenabiologista: for me, the difference is to do with motivation. “Self-harm” for me was always about anger and pain, and letting things out through my skin, and not in a positive way. It can be seen as a coping mechanism, but in my life it was definitely something self-destructive. In my opinion blood play and ritual cutting are very different, because they’re about enjoying your body, not hating yourself.
It’s fascinating how much swelling can distort a limb.. those fresh burn pictures are pretty impressive. Maybe I’ve spent too much time inspecting fresh wounds in the past, but her burns don’t look all that different from either of my brands or accidental burns that I’ve acquired in the kitchen. Well, the lines are obviously much more aesthetically pleasing than my accidental injuries, but the color and scabbing look similar.
It’s fascinating how much swelling can distort a limb.. those fresh burn pictures are pretty impressive. Maybe I’ve spent too much time inspecting fresh wounds in the past, but her burns don’t look all that different from either of my brands or accidental burns that I’ve acquired in the kitchen. Well, the lines are obviously much more aesthetically pleasing than my accidental injuries, but the color and scabbing look similar.
Possessed, you’re right, see scars from my blood play are actually have good memoies relating to them so when one of my favorites were tattooed over, I actually felt like part of me was taken away. Luckily though, I can still tell where it is even though it’s not distracting at all.
Possessed, you’re right, see scars from my blood play are actually have good memoies relating to them so when one of my favorites were tattooed over, I actually felt like part of me was taken away. Luckily though, I can still tell where it is even though it’s not distracting at all.
As some of the original scars are quite deep, will they have an effect on the final look of the brands once they have healed? i mean, give it an unusual texture or colouration? I’m really pleased that she is finding a way of feeling comfortable in her body, but i do think it is a shame that people feel uncomfortable / embarrassed about SH scars and the like in the first place. Everybody has different ways of dealing with shit, and if SH is a method that works for somebody, why should other people (often unspoken) disaproval have such an impact? unfortunatley, this is the case. The brands do look amazing, and i hope she feels great about all the work on her arm, regardless of motive
As some of the original scars are quite deep, will they have an effect on the final look of the brands once they have healed? i mean, give it an unusual texture or colouration? I’m really pleased that she is finding a way of feeling comfortable in her body, but i do think it is a shame that people feel uncomfortable / embarrassed about SH scars and the like in the first place. Everybody has different ways of dealing with shit, and if SH is a method that works for somebody, why should other people (often unspoken) disaproval have such an impact? unfortunatley, this is the case. The brands do look amazing, and i hope she feels great about all the work on her arm, regardless of motive
I’m an ex-cutter, and I completely agree:
The thing I really love about this type of work is that it takes something with negative connotations and transforms it into something beautiful, but without covering it up or being “dishonest” about life’s history (not that there’s anything wrong with the cover-up route either).
I’m an ex-cutter, and I completely agree:
The thing I really love about this type of work is that it takes something with negative connotations and transforms it into something beautiful, but without covering it up or being “dishonest” about life’s history (not that there’s anything wrong with the cover-up route either).
Xenobiologista, I don’t know.
Xenobiologista, I don’t know.
i keep trying to come up with something more interesting to say about it, but all i can really say is that this is beautiful.
i keep trying to come up with something more interesting to say about it, but all i can really say is that this is beautiful.
Amazingly Lush! 🙂
Amazingly Lush! 🙂
i like the way she turned something negative (self harm) into something positive (body mod)
very well done! 🙂
i like the way she turned something negative (self harm) into something positive (body mod)
very well done! 🙂
Sscruffy Herbert:
I think some people are ashamed because it is actually perosnal and many people out there think that it is merely attention seeking, and a lot of them don’t hesitate to brin it up either which get’s very frustratinga and embarrasing for someone who already has enought to deal with.
I personally think that as you said thee are plenty of ways to deal with things and many are a lot worse than SH, think about all the people that harm others every day just because they’re annoyed. I guess random people just find it distrubing.
Sscruffy Herbert:
I think some people are ashamed because it is actually perosnal and many people out there think that it is merely attention seeking, and a lot of them don’t hesitate to brin it up either which get’s very frustratinga and embarrasing for someone who already has enought to deal with.
I personally think that as you said thee are plenty of ways to deal with things and many are a lot worse than SH, think about all the people that harm others every day just because they’re annoyed. I guess random people just find it distrubing.
Thanks to everyone who commented on my brands, i love them so much and it makes me happy looking at my arm again.
I used to put up with so much nonsence from the general public about my scars, generally i would get disgusted looks from mothers with children or get strangers asking me why i would do such a stupid thing. The comments about attention seeking used to really upset me the most, there were times that wearing long sleaves and jumpers 24/7 weren’t an option and people would assume that i was showing off my scars for a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.
Now i wear my scars with pride because they no longer represent the hard times, but a choice to take my body back and make it beautiful.
x
Thanks to everyone who commented on my brands, i love them so much and it makes me happy looking at my arm again.
I used to put up with so much nonsence from the general public about my scars, generally i would get disgusted looks from mothers with children or get strangers asking me why i would do such a stupid thing. The comments about attention seeking used to really upset me the most, there were times that wearing long sleaves and jumpers 24/7 weren’t an option and people would assume that i was showing off my scars for a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.
Now i wear my scars with pride because they no longer represent the hard times, but a choice to take my body back and make it beautiful.
x
I think it’s interesting that she chose to put bands over her scaring, as i did the same thing. I found myself cutting again, and needed a strong reminder to stop. Mine are not branded though, they are scalpled and removed.
I think it’s interesting that she chose to put bands over her scaring, as i did the same thing. I found myself cutting again, and needed a strong reminder to stop. Mine are not branded though, they are scalpled and removed.
I have a question, please take it as curiosity rather than cynicism: do those of you who are intense self-harmers who then get mods like these find that they help you to stop? Or are they simply a way of reclaiming your body rather than also a tool to help you stop?
I have a question, please take it as curiosity rather than cynicism: do those of you who are intense self-harmers who then get mods like these find that they help you to stop? Or are they simply a way of reclaiming your body rather than also a tool to help you stop?
#43 I’ll take that one. I cut my self with scalpels and razors for about 13 years. Very badly. The scars are among the worst I have seen even on BME. Then I encountered some life chages that made me want to be less self-destructive. I quit for 8 years. This last year I met a scarification artist. With some trepidition I set out on an extensive scarification process. I wondered though, would it start me up again? It did not. It finally put the question to rest. I have had some major crisis pop up during the last year and the idea of cutting myself while upset is now an abomination. Or maybe just an empty gesture. I know that part is over.
#43 I’ll take that one. I cut my self with scalpels and razors for about 13 years. Very badly. The scars are among the worst I have seen even on BME. Then I encountered some life chages that made me want to be less self-destructive. I quit for 8 years. This last year I met a scarification artist. With some trepidition I set out on an extensive scarification process. I wondered though, would it start me up again? It did not. It finally put the question to rest. I have had some major crisis pop up during the last year and the idea of cutting myself while upset is now an abomination. Or maybe just an empty gesture. I know that part is over.
Suzanne, that’s wonderful to hear. I am glad you’ve stopped a behavior that was harmful for you and that you wanted to stop. 🙂
Suzanne, that’s wonderful to hear. I am glad you’ve stopped a behavior that was harmful for you and that you wanted to stop. 🙂
In response to T (#4), I can’t tell you how true that is.
Suz is one of the strongest and most down-to-earth people I have ever met and has been a solid friend to me over the last five years despite what was going on in her own life.
I’m glad to see so many people loving what she has done, they really are beautiful things.
As for TrinityVA (#43), I have found over the last year or so that the tattooing process in particular has not only helped me to get past issues of self-injury but has made a massive difference to my body confidence too. What’s more, I know that I am far less likely to indulge in self-destructive behaviour if it meant damaging something in which I have invested my time and creativity. Hope that makes sense…! 🙂
In response to T (#4), I can’t tell you how true that is.
Suz is one of the strongest and most down-to-earth people I have ever met and has been a solid friend to me over the last five years despite what was going on in her own life.
I’m glad to see so many people loving what she has done, they really are beautiful things.
As for TrinityVA (#43), I have found over the last year or so that the tattooing process in particular has not only helped me to get past issues of self-injury but has made a massive difference to my body confidence too. What’s more, I know that I am far less likely to indulge in self-destructive behaviour if it meant damaging something in which I have invested my time and creativity. Hope that makes sense…! 🙂
Why hide your scars, when they are/where a way to deal with pain, and also, a part of yourself?
Why hide your scars, when they are/where a way to deal with pain, and also, a part of yourself?