A black-and-white photo of a person mid-air in a Superman-style body suspension pose, supported by multiple hooks in their back and legs, smiling joyfully toward the camera. They are suspended horizontally in a large indoor space with high ceilings and visible rigging. A group of onlookers—some seated, some standing—watch with expressions of admiration, amusement, and support. The atmosphere is lively and communal, capturing a moment of shared experience and transformation.

Allan Farkner Teaches Suspension

Comments on Allen Falkner teaching suspension, via Fark (click for full forum and link to original story, thanks Testa for the pointer);

Dude seriously needs a hook through his brain next.

Gives new meaning to the phrase “The suspense is killing me.”

The guy I lost my virginity to did the first “ass suspension.” Thank god this was years after we boned.

Ass suspension? Just how does that work? Hang on to a buttplug with you sphincter of godly strength? Drive hooks through your buttcheek muscles? Geez…

It gets philosophical though as well.

Gosh, have you ever stuck the blade of a hunting knife up your ass? Maybe it would be transcendent. Can’t say it isn’t till you try it.

Or maybe you don’t need to actually need to stick a hunting knife up your ass to know that there is nothing transcendent about it and that anyone who would actually enjoy doing that has serious mental issues. Such a person does not need to embrace their inner ass-knifer, they need to seek help to find out why their mind craves such clearly psychologically deviant and destructive behavior.

Anyway, I’m going to go satisfy my inner ass-knifer now.

Comments

72 responses to “Allan Farkner Teaches Suspension”

  1. SKiDmark Avatar
    SKiDmark

    I would actually be very impressed if someone could hang from a buttplug in their ass.

  2. Zar Avatar
    Zar

    i kinda want a shirt with a reference to my inner ass knifer.

  3. Zar Avatar
    Zar

    i kinda want a shirt with a reference to my inner ass knifer.

  4. Zar Avatar
    Zar

    i kinda want a shirt with a reference to my inner ass knifer.

  5. SmallPotatoGato Avatar
    SmallPotatoGato

    i’m drawing pics for an inner-ass-knifer T-shirt… for bme if they want or just for myself… this is my inner-ass-knifer @ work… lmfao… when was bme established??? anyway i’ll make up a date for now, for humors sake…BME Ass-Knifing It Since 1990… and i’ve drawn a pic of an ass with a knife through it… sorta like the old-school skull with a knife through it kinda tat… can’t stop laughing my ass-knife off… haha… i’ll try to get the pic on my IAM soon… damn you scanner.. arrg… i’ll find a way and if you like we’ll see what we can do… i don’t know if Shannon would be up for selling a shirt like that or not???

  6. SmallPotatoGato Avatar
    SmallPotatoGato

    i’m drawing pics for an inner-ass-knifer T-shirt… for bme if they want or just for myself… this is my inner-ass-knifer @ work… lmfao… when was bme established??? anyway i’ll make up a date for now, for humors sake…BME Ass-Knifing It Since 1990… and i’ve drawn a pic of an ass with a knife through it… sorta like the old-school skull with a knife through it kinda tat… can’t stop laughing my ass-knife off… haha… i’ll try to get the pic on my IAM soon… damn you scanner.. arrg… i’ll find a way and if you like we’ll see what we can do… i don’t know if Shannon would be up for selling a shirt like that or not???

  7. SmallPotatoGato Avatar
    SmallPotatoGato

    i’m drawing pics for an inner-ass-knifer T-shirt… for bme if they want or just for myself… this is my inner-ass-knifer @ work… lmfao… when was bme established??? anyway i’ll make up a date for now, for humors sake…BME Ass-Knifing It Since 1990… and i’ve drawn a pic of an ass with a knife through it… sorta like the old-school skull with a knife through it kinda tat… can’t stop laughing my ass-knife off… haha… i’ll try to get the pic on my IAM soon… damn you scanner.. arrg… i’ll find a way and if you like we’ll see what we can do… i don’t know if Shannon would be up for selling a shirt like that or not???

  8. Marina Avatar
    Marina

    I read this to my friend and she walked off to find her inner ass-knifer, then I read it to someone else who immediately wrote “psychologically deviant” on their arm. This is just funny.

  9. Marina Avatar
    Marina

    I read this to my friend and she walked off to find her inner ass-knifer, then I read it to someone else who immediately wrote “psychologically deviant” on their arm. This is just funny.

  10. Marina Avatar
    Marina

    I read this to my friend and she walked off to find her inner ass-knifer, then I read it to someone else who immediately wrote “psychologically deviant” on their arm. This is just funny.

  11. Snoogans Avatar
    Snoogans

    haha was this story about Pox? I know he did an ass suspension.

  12. Snoogans Avatar
    Snoogans

    haha was this story about Pox? I know he did an ass suspension.

  13. Snoogans Avatar
    Snoogans

    haha was this story about Pox? I know he did an ass suspension.

  14. tokyowars Avatar

    You know what? Suspension (the thought of it) normally freaks me out – because of the whole needle thing, (I have a phobia of them), but that article makes it sound like an amazing experience. I’m not sure that I’m at the point where I could go through with it, but that article definitely increased my interest.

    Thanks Fark!

  15. tokyowars Avatar

    You know what? Suspension (the thought of it) normally freaks me out – because of the whole needle thing, (I have a phobia of them), but that article makes it sound like an amazing experience. I’m not sure that I’m at the point where I could go through with it, but that article definitely increased my interest.

    Thanks Fark!

  16. tokyowars Avatar

    You know what? Suspension (the thought of it) normally freaks me out – because of the whole needle thing, (I have a phobia of them), but that article makes it sound like an amazing experience. I’m not sure that I’m at the point where I could go through with it, but that article definitely increased my interest.

    Thanks Fark!

  17. Em Avatar
    Em

    Methinks 2 new BME shirts are called for…

  18. Em Avatar
    Em

    Methinks 2 new BME shirts are called for…

  19. Em Avatar
    Em

    Methinks 2 new BME shirts are called for…

  20. Siren Avatar
    Siren

    “To those of you with piercings, tattoos, band t-shirts, collections of punk rock tablatures/posters/cds, coloured/spikey hair, I say: You are teh ghey.”

    And I wonder if this person has standard gunned lobe piercings like most people do…does that mean they are ‘teh ghey’ too, or do their own rules just not apply to themselves?

  21. Siren Avatar
    Siren

    “To those of you with piercings, tattoos, band t-shirts, collections of punk rock tablatures/posters/cds, coloured/spikey hair, I say: You are teh ghey.”

    And I wonder if this person has standard gunned lobe piercings like most people do…does that mean they are ‘teh ghey’ too, or do their own rules just not apply to themselves?

  22. Siren Avatar
    Siren

    “To those of you with piercings, tattoos, band t-shirts, collections of punk rock tablatures/posters/cds, coloured/spikey hair, I say: You are teh ghey.”

    And I wonder if this person has standard gunned lobe piercings like most people do…does that mean they are ‘teh ghey’ too, or do their own rules just not apply to themselves?

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