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bitch filth

Recently, my girlfriend broke up with me for another girl. She was my first true love, though it sounds far fetched because I'm only 15. I think it's just that younger people's emotions are far more fragile and therefore we're more likely to be really in love with someone that we wouldn't be in ten years, even if our personalities meshed perfectly. Anyway, on to the story. The day she called me and said we needed a break, I said that's fine. We'll just have a "break." We were still "going out," just kind of putting it on hold. Then ... read more

From Pain to Love

Cutting to a lot of people seems disgusting. Shameful. I admit, I'm still dealing with acceptance. I have displayed my cutting far too obviously to friends for blatant attention (serious mistake. I regret it because it was stupid.) and have mostly went to enormous lengths to hide my "shameful secret." I still remember my first cutting which was done soon after my fourteenth birthday. A recent break up with the one I considered my first real love had left me miserable. He and I stayed in contact with one another and I soon learned of his own cuttings. He told ... read more

Deeper Than The Surface

I cut myself. I've often been misunderstood for what I do. I've taken comments, stares and questions from people that don't even know me or what I've been thru. I've been labeled as crazy and irrational. It is hard for people outside of the body modification culture to understand WHY someone like me would resort to this method of release. I have had a very difficult life. I've had to deal with drug-addicted parents, sexual abuse, foster homes, having my father die, mental and verbal abuse, being separated from my brothers and sister, watching my mother die of cancer, and ... read more

Ankh Scarification

September 4th, Labor Day 2000, my dad shot himself. No one knows if it was intentional or not - but he was found dead in the bedroom closet of his home near Lake Tahoe, Nevada, with a 9mm in his hand, face planted in the carpet. I didn't meet my dad until I was 9 years old, but he was my hero. He knew something about everything, always had great stories to tell, and he had this wisdom to him that came from a hard childhood. He was hard not to like. I hadn't seen him in two years, (he ... read more

Self Scarification

Well I'm sitting in my grade 7 Art class 2 years ago with a compass in my hand and an idea! I have seen scarifications on Riplies and I think to myself it would be cool if I could do one. I don't bother asking my parents cause I know what there going to say anyways and its sure gonna be a no cause I remember asking for just and ear ring (which I got now and is gonna be stretched to a 10ga in a month). So any way I decide I am going to do this myself. I ... read more


One of my best friends and i have been into scarification for a while now. When we get to see each other (which isn't very often, sadly), one of usually has a design for the other to do. This time, i had a butterfly that i wanted. it's rather abstract, and the lower wings kinda twist into a little "knot" kinda thingy (i don't know how else to describe it). i was pretty nervous (but then, i always am) about it. i always have to ask myself if i *really* want this design for the rest of my life. Butterflies ... read more

Painfully Scorned by a Gay Man

So I already did the piercing and tattooing thing. I have three tattoos on my stomach and have been pierced about 20 times. At first it was just something to do to enhance my appearance. After awhile I became addicted to the feeling; very typical I'm sure. It became a habit, but more importantly it became a lifestyle and a part of myself as a whole. The pain induced gave me such a strong sense of control over my body. The more I got done, the more whole I felt. The more pain I induced, the more I yearned for. ... read more

My run in with a razor

Ive had this in my mind for a while and by putting it on bme i hope it will help someone else just like XmickX helped me. (thanks by the way). If you didnt know you should use irritants if you are going to cut. Substances like, sand, vinegar, toothpaste (yes.. toothpaste), lotions, red wine, peroxide. These substances encourage the wound into scarring and developing keliod tissue. *Doot Doot* Now for my experiance with my friendly razor. First off I absolutely love anything that has to do with altering my body.. in any way.. I have deep respect for anyone ... read more

I cannot belive I did this to myself!

I was on BME this afternoon just looking around. I am a total virgin to body modifications. I just started my interest last December. Since I was ten I begged my mom to pierce my navel but she said I had to wait till 14 (haha that's real soon). Ok, so I was dieing to modify something..piercing, tattoo, anything. I was also talking to my friend Alyssa who recently pierced her navel and tongue web by herself (so fucking brave) and suggested I do the same. Since barbells are very noticeable and my parents are so observant she suggested a ... read more

This girl just isn't into cutting anymore.

*First off, I would like to say this is my personal opinion.* Scarification can look good on some people, and it can be meaningful for some people, just not me. I used to be one of the cliché cutting girls. The first time I cut myself, I carved my boyfriends initials into my upper left arm. "CK." I cut myself in front of him, and with him. He carved "JL" (my initials) into his arm. I did it much deeper than he did, and mine lasted. All my friends said I would regret it, and I said something along the ... read more

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