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"I looked down and smell my burning flesh"

I woke up that day with bad feelings in my mind, I realized that I would work the grave yard shift at my work today. But this day would to become one of the better days of my life. I woke up kind of early this day so I didn´t know what to do with all my free time before work, so I decided to visit my friend at his studio and just spent some time and talk, if he didn´t have any customers that is. So I went there and we just sat there and talked when I realized ... read more

Taking Further Steps

After reading Shannon Larratt's fantastic article entitled Shooting the Messenger: Why it's important to let young people cut, I took a step back into myself and looked into why I did it myself. Three bars, meaning Mind, Body, and Soul-- these meant a lot to me at the time. It was there where I felt this foundation was solid, and the only thing I could do was go forward. I couldn't jump, so I suppose, scalpel in the hand of someone I still think fondly of even now-- I had to crawl. "It was the most intense thing in my ... read more

sisterhood by fire

After months of trying to coordinate a time that worked for all of us, we finally had a date set. There were four of us: our crew of badass ladies, and we were all going separate ways after years of being together and living communally. We needed something to mark the occasion, a ritual for us all to commemorate the good, the bad and the everything in between we had all lived through together in the past five years. We decided to have a strike branding ritual. We showed up at Passage and Blair had booked us enough time to ... read more

Self Scarification Star

I have been into scarification and cutting for about a year but so far, all my "marks" have been ultimately meaningless. Aside from the slashes on my arms that help remind my about a part in my life, nothing has had a true symbol attached to it. After discovering BMEzine.com, I was constantly looking at all the pictures and decided I wanted a star tattoo between my boobs. Well I am underage and cannot legally get a tattoo in my state so I decide I would do the next best thing. I'd carve the star into my chest all by ... read more

My Shallow Heart

Since this is an experience about self cutting, I feel the need to make it clear to all readers that this is in no way a recommendation of how to go about cuttings. Nor is it a totally safe thing to do, there are many risks involved. So, I recommend, as usual getting procedures done by professionals, it's safer, much safer. However, with that said I still feel the desire and know all the risks of every home procedure I do, and that works fine with me. If you are interested in my view on cutting, and the personal experiences ... read more

My Self Branding

About a year ago I decided that I wanted a brand. Now, instead of calling around to the local studios to see if any of them did brands, I decided to do it myself, which, I'll say now, was not the best idea. My first step was to think of a simple, yet meaningful design. After a while, and about two bowls, I came up with my design, an inverted triangular spiral – the meaning behind it...there are layers on top of layers as to what everything means, me, the world, society, the people around me, everything has layers, that ... read more

Like the Phoenix...

Like so many others reading this experience, I am a cutter. I cut my arms and legs when I need relief from emotions, when I need to project hate at myself, when I need to prove to myself that I'm ALIVE--all the "usual" reasons. Talk to any cutter. With rare deviation, they will all quote the same reasons. I began cutting on April 15th, 2003. To make a very long story short, since I was 14 it has been one of my greatest dreams to play college ice hockey, then coach hockey afterwards. Throughout high school, I played varsity hockey ... read more

Getting it deeper a cry for help no longer

I've been cutting since I was in the 9th grade. My best friend Carissa showed it to me, she told me how it helped her--how good it felt--how much it relived everything. I tried it, unsuccessful-- minor cuts and mainly welting occured...bravo right? It stung like hell, I told my parents, it wasn't a big deal--to them. I cried for a few nights after that, telling myself what I did was wrong and stupid. Then on the third-or fourth night I decided to cut again, for reasons beyond my understanding it felt wrong but I wanted to do it again--and ... read more

Me and scarification/cutting and ink rubbing.

First of all, my name is Sheena. I'm a punk rocker in New York. I enjoy drawing and the art of scarification. I hope to become a tattoo artist. Well, it all started about a month ago. I was looking threw tattoo magazines with one of my friends. I saw this guy that had a scar in the shape of a circle. It had some kind of tribal picture in the middle.Then I started to think, " wow, you know I would like to do that!", but then I started thinking about what if I hit a vein or something?!I ... read more

Friends and I branding ourselves

About three months ago two friends and I decided it would be a great idea to get some tattoos. After thinking of what to get done and talking to a couple shops we decided to go with branding instead due to the fact that none of our friends or people we know of has it done and thought it would be cool to get something different done. After finally convincing ourselves this was the right move we figured it couldn't be too difficult to do it ourselves instead of paying a ton of money to have it done for us. ... read more

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