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Hearts on my Sleeve

The first time I had an inkling of what my scarification would eventually become, I was sitting on the floor of a South coast piercing studio smelling an old university friend getting strike branded. I had been playing around with the desire to get cut for two or three years, drawing up design after design for various parts of my body and loving them all, but ultimately rejecting them after never really getting the gut feeling that any one of them was truly right for me and my body. Until that day last December, when possibly in a mild trance ... read more

imperfect tear perfect heart

I would have to say that the start of my experience started about 6 years ago. I was the tender age of 10 and I became a cutter. Well I had always disliked myself and it seemed to me to be the best way to release all of my emotions. Well over the next 6 years the self injury waxed and waned. Sometimes I could stop for a few months but I would eventually have something happen that would drive to cut again. Over the past few months I have been trying like crazy to get my life in order. ... read more

Adjectives Under My Skin

I had never really thought much about self-mutilation. Nor masochistic tendencies in general. The most I had ever had done was get my ears pierced a year or two back. I had been terrified. So when my friend admitted to me that she had cut herself, I was shocked. I had never known anyone who did this. It wasn't something that had ever been a part of my life. And yet.. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Things started to get rough around my household a few months later. The family was constantly feuding, a group of my ... read more

Flesh Removal Part One

My interest in scarification in general started soon after finding BME online. That point in time I was young, and though interested never even thought of knowing someone skilled enough for me to trust to do this to me. Now a few years have passed, and I can say I know a hand full of people I would trust to. Big changes have been made in my life over these past few years. Starting out how many people actually would ever imagine them selves going as far as they have. With time I've tried different experiments with scaring my self. ... read more

Discovering The True Nature Of Cutting

"Dog". That word might not mean anything to you, but to me it brings back horrid memories of being bullied at school. Because I was mainly a victim of verbal bullying (the physical stuff came later) talking to my friends didn't help at all. At that time, nobody took verbal bullying seriously. So everyday I wrote my emotions down in my diary. Everything they said, how low they made me feel. It didn't help. It just disturbed me more about how bad the situation really was.By this stage I had already began hitting myself, which I noticed helped me feel ... read more

Young Cutting

I find it strange that I am only 16 and writing about my experience of being a cutter. So young and already finding comfort through self-injury. I will start by telling what others have already told. That it is an escape, a way of calming down or blacking out. Some even as far to the point that they do not know that they are doing it until it is done. I am not one of those people. I find no escape, no calm, nothing like the above. I find clarity you might say. I could say it all started back ... read more

The youngest cutter

I know that my title is a little generalized but hey. Like the start of a lot of these experiences I will simply state I'm sixteen years old and I am a cutter. Unlike most cutters though I don't remember my first cutting experience. I really don't. I remember cutting at thirteen. I know I cut before that but I don't know when it started it just comes natural. Before I start I do want to explain a couple things about who I am now. I am now proud to be a cutter. I am also a self-converted Buddhist who ... read more

Stay true

Well first off let me start by saying that this is not something for the faint of heart or someone who can't handle pain. I strongly do not recommend anyone doing this by themselves. I made a terrible mistake and I was lucky I didn't seriously affect me or any one I knew. There are serious consequences when it comes to modifying your body so be extremely careful. You only get one body; so don't screw it up by doing something stupid and reckless. When I was 14 I went through a terrible time in my life. This unfournantetly led ... read more

Probably the dumbest thing i ever did

I first found out about scarification on BME, I'd never seen anyone with it before so I wanted to know more about it.(Originally I'd wanted facial piercings but after a lot of asking and a lot of being told no and that it's barbaric, I started looking at scarification.) Since I was about eleven I'd liked tattoos and piercings, but at fourteen it was still another four years until I could get a tattoo, or a piercing without my parents permission. I found scarification to be one of the most beautiful things I'd seen people have on their bodies. After ... read more

Now I know it didn't smell like pork last time.

I did it again. The last time I branded myself I told myself that I would wait, and get my next one done professionally, but of course I have the willpower of a sugar-obsessed five year old on a pile of sweets, so it was inevitable that I came back, five months later, to do another. This one was a lot more important to me. Before I was still very much rooted in somewhat of a depression, and as such I branded myself alone, without telling anybody, and as such had a very different experience than I did on this ... read more

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