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Escaping Inner Pain

Have you ever felt the need to just get away from it all? Sure, life might not be too awful horrible, but sometimes you feel like all hell is just on the other side of the brink and waiting for you to take a tumble over the edge. Well, I'm a clumsy girl and I trip easy. I'm living in a pop trash movie...there are days when I just feel like crying my head off and hiding in the basement, and other days I feel just fine. I'm obese already, and I have to take steriods for my Ulcerative Colitis. ... read more

pain is onto me

Social skills are not something given to everyone. There are a lot of people who can go out and will not be bothered by crowded places, who can stand talking to 5 or 6 people at once. I'm sadly not part of this group. I've then relied all my life on activities that involve less human contact. Sadly building your life on such a pillar is not really sane. This means that when I try to get in contact with people, I have to know the person beforehand since I have no idea on how to talk to or approach ... read more

Skin squares

I remember when I first heard about scarification. It was through this site, bmezine.com. I was searching up tattoos on yahoo images, and then found something that looked like a tattoo of a three dimensional outline of the tattoo. Even though I did not necessarily care for the design, it intrigued me. After looking at it, I noticed something. There was no elaborate shading that made it look third dimensional. There was no ink whatsoever. It was a scar! Once I saw this image, I had to see more. I read about it a bit and found the name of ... read more

Cut n' Peel

So usually I'm fairly well though out in my body mod plans. I think long and hard about the mod I want, research, investigate, all that jazz. But about 3 days ago while hanging out at my friend Dan's, I mentioned that I had an old scarification on my left inner ankle that I was planning on touching up myself (I had originally done the cutting myself), and he was like "Hey man, I'll do it for you. I'll do it for free." and I was like "Yeah, sweet!" Then his roommate, and tattooist, volunteered to draw up a larger, ... read more

Cautery Conch 2

I want to tell the story of my second cautery conch experience, but I should tell you of the first one, first. Steve Hayworth was doing a guest spot at my friend Bryan's shop (Puncture Body Piercing in Upland, CA) I decided to go and check it out, but I really wasn't planning on getting anything done. He had already been there for a couple of days, so I got to see live examples of his work, as well as his portfolio. I saw a cautery ear reconstruction, some implants, and some cautery brands... but what really caught my eye ... read more

washboard chest

I read that cutting or any bloodletting ritual is sometimes used to heal disease or build up your immune system. I wanted to do that after I found out that I had a virus. I also thought it was aesthetically beautiful. I only waited about a week after I first considered getting cut. I read as much as I could on cuttings and brandings. I wanted to be as aware and informed as possible before hand. I wanted to make sure I went to someone I felt confident and comfortable with to perform the procedure. I had seen cuttings on ... read more

It never stops.

This is the first time I have talked about my cutting. I am not typing this to encourage others to cut, I am typing this to perhaps help others understand why people cut. I have not always cut, I do not think anybody has always cut. But as far as I can remember, I had always had a fascination with cutting, I would repeatedly watch every movie or television show that had cutting in it. After my junior year, I started to slip into depression, and I pushed everyone away, except for my boyfriend at the time. Halfway into my ... read more

Tastes like... burning.

The thought of scarification scared me. For the past 15 years, I've been struggling with cutting myself, and other forms of self mutilation. I'd recently come to terms with the fact that I no longer wished to do that to myself, but I couldn't help but notice that the scars from various forms of scarification were beautiful. The decision for the design and how it would be permanently shown on my body came quite naturally. I was born on the third day of the third month. I have two best friends who have been by my side since we were ... read more

Oh it burns!

I've been a part of BME community for about 6 years now. I have always admired scarification and have had two scars done previously. One night, my friend, Phillip, and I were bored so we decided to head over to see my piercer, Paul, and his apprentice, Julie. It was a slow night at the shop, and of course Paul was bored and wanted to do something to me (as usual). Over the years I had become his pin cushion and guinea pig and I didn't mind it one bit. He told me that he had recently moved from scalpels ... read more

Peeling Off Some Flesh

Along with a minor majority of my peers I've had a past of self injury and being mentally skewed. After years of seeing my scars from my little emo moments and regretting how little meaning they really had, I decided to give myself scars that actually did have meaning. I really got into the whole process of discovering what technique lead to what result, and how I could turn that into a planned and meaningful design. The main area that I hacked on when I was younger was my chest. I'm extremely flat and I was ashamed of it for ... read more

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