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pain for the sake of life

My Cutting/Rubbing Experience Please dont copy me, I was stupid, or do it properly at least :) I grew up with a normal life, a normal person with normal parents... nothing interesting. I started piercing my ears twice and three times when i was 15 and dyed my hair outrageous colors from 16 and still do from time to time. Its almost as if thats my way of expression, and if i make a mistake or it looks messy, thats like 10 bonus points. "perfection is imperfect always perfectly"... Its just a matter of realizing how to express your imperfections ... read more

kill me now or forever hold my piece

As I sit here in September 2006, age 17. I've been cutting myself for approximately two years now. Not because I think I'm fat, or because I want people to have sympathy for me, but because of a little thing called depression. The doctor just says it's a stage I'm going through, but for me, it's something I strive to overcome. Lets rewind, age 15, tenth grade, unlike everyone else I was very unsettled. I became moody, withdrawn and stayed away from everyone. I locked myself in my room, I screamed, I slammed doors, I ignored people, I told my ... read more

A word about self cutting

I've always loved body mods, from my mom's piercings and tattoos to my dad's really cool ear piercings (double lobe, daith, and a "bolt" in the other), bod mods have always fascinated me. Even my sister had her ears pierced (it was a standard earlobe piercing done by my mom with diamond ear studs). All these mods made me want something of my own. Something that no one I knew had. But what? Too young for ink, didn't want a piercing. Whats left? Not much, so I left the idea alone for about 3 years. One day I saw a ... read more

My Hand Cutting and Skin Removal

This all really started two years ago when a vacuum cleaner fell on my right hand leaving two triangular scars. For the last 6 months the fact that the triangles weren't even, and there were only two of them (not balanced) has really been pissing me off. When I joined IAM I started thinking about ways to balance it out and fix the old triangles. Then I had an idea. What about a skin removal/scarification. I looked at some galleries and checked out a few experiences and decided to speak to Wayde Dunn (Quaid on iam) and ask him a ... read more

A web upon my web, how rocking is that?

Here's how it begins. I have been getting body modifications for almost thirteen years now, and I am a firm believer in the try anything once theory. I have most of my body worked on by an array of artists in my time, and I have seen alot of things done (if not in person, on the internet or in magazines), and I have always been curious as to how something either felt or how the procedure is done. Cutting and scarification has always piqued my interests. Being a professional tattoo artist, these things have never bothered me like it ... read more

Two First Timers...One New Mod

As a current body piercing apprentice I have been interested in all forms of body modification for quite some time now. Recently I was introduced to the movie Modify by my teacher (who is an amazing body piercer) Spider. This movie is amazingly informative and extremely interesting to watch might I add. I had heard of a few different ways to perform scarifications and brandings but had never witnessed any of the procedures until viewing this movie. I had at one point thought about venturing down the path to a brand new branding for myself but after seeing the end ... read more

Therapy through branding

I am not one to complain about my life. i am usually always content with the situation I am usually in. Even when I am not, I find a reasonable way to cope with it all. Some don't think body modification would be a reasonable way to deal with such things, but as of a few months ago, I have reason to believe otherwise. I, too, thought scarification was foolish for the longest time. I have since then seen what a good thing scarification can be. My gateway into scarification opened up about six months ago, when the sh*t was ... read more

Scalpel Lovin'.

Getting branded was a huge turning point in my life. Intentionally scarring my body while spending years trying not to leave a mark seemed counterproductive. However, I love scars. I love the stories they tell and the fact that scarification is a form of body art that, in my opinion, is the purest form of body modification; the results are a product of what your own body produces (with the help of the scarification artist, of course). I have always been in awe of the work Brian Decker has done. I've gone to him for work before, and wished to ... read more

My self-done brand, one month and all is well

Since around this time last year I've had a fascination with brandings. the way the look, the rush of adrenaline described, and their primal origins. However, living in a rural area, I was shy There is a something I must confess to those reading now, that I was a sexual abuse victim until I was 12 years old from when I was a small child. I won't go into irrelevant details. It's not a part of me anymore. Yet, consequently I have never felt in control of my own body, having an essential tremor (shaking hands) doesn't help the feeling ... read more

My DIY ink rubbing

First off, I would like to say that this was probably not very smart and I would recommend that no one else attempt the experience I am about to describe. It was stupid and was probably just a whole lot of pain for nothing at all, as I really doubt that it will heal properly because I did not make the cuts deep enough. I had been wanting a tattoo for a while, and had drawn my latest idea for a tattoo (a heart with wings. pretty lame, I know. but I like it.) onto my lower right stomach using ... read more

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