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my bed of nails -3 inch spacing!! with 350 lbs on top of me!

I am the Princess of Pain with the Cut Throat Freak Show. I perform several torture acts -human pincushion, cheek skewering, flesh hook suspensions/ tug of wars, eye socket weight lifting. fire torture, gavage (I am, by the way the only woman alive to perform the gavage stomach pumping act or eye socket weight lifting). I also perform the classic bed of nails routine. -Only I do it with a few major twists. First of all my bed has a tenth (if not less, much less) of the nails that most other performers use. They are spaced three inches apart, ... read more

In Her Hands...

Please bare with me as you read this experience, I know this is lengthy but I feel it's necessary to grasp why I did my Suspension. It has been nearly a month for me, and even as I feel the need to write this, I don't think even I have fully grasped it myself. The last year my personal life has been in a downward spiral. I was often depressed and was an emotional wreck. My arch-nemesis, Mr. "Panic" Attack had been visiting often and it got to the point that I desperately wanted to end it all. I hated ... read more

Getting In To It

I meet Allen Faulkner when I was in college he had done some piercings on me and I spent all my spare time in his studio. I spent much of my time looking through Modern Primitives and old PFIQ's then I found Stellarc. I became enthralled with these performances. It didn't take long before Allen asked if I was willing to perform with TSD. With no hesitation I agreed. That is how it started. Two weeks later, I found myself duct taped to a cross in front of a large audience watching as Jason Hill cut my chest open with ... read more

My first pull!

I decided to sleep in as much as possible thinking that I would need the rest for when I was to pull later on that evening. At about 5 p.m. I started getting ready because I knew that I needed to pick up film and get my stuff ready for later. I talked to Resa and we went to wake Iota's lazy ass up. Afterwards, we went to CVS to buy some film. I wanted to take pictures of the pull later. About an hour later talked to Iota and found out that we might not be pulling because our ... read more

The feeling of something better than life

Well, it all began on November 21. I walked in this body piercing shop named Quest. I talked to this man name J. C. He would have to be the best body piercer I have ever let to touch me. Well, on that day he pierced my cheeks and he was going to do two dermal punches to my conchs, but the equipment didn't come in until two weeks before my hanging. Ever since that day I have went to this body piercier. Later that month, I went to Quest to talk to J. C. about doing some good old ... read more

Piercings in the larger community.

Piercings are a very important part of my life. They help me express myself, my interests. As my friend Jason always says, "Your body is your vessel for life, why not decorate it?" Well, this seems all well and good in the supposedly liberal world of the west. Despite our complaints that "people just don`t get us man" piercings are generally accepted as fine. The problem arises when I consider my other main interest; Travel. Travel is a hugely important part of my life too and for a long time I believed, and probably still believe, piercings and travel just ... read more

Myth vs Fact and Education

I was born and raised in California. The only things I knew about anything was what my parents forced down my throat mentally, verbally, and physically. I was very sheltered in that the only things I knew about tattoo shops is that tattoos were satanic, and that only biker gangs (anybody with a Harley was in a biker gang), drug addicts, and cult members hung out and went to those kinds of places. I had always wondered how the people with facial and odd ear piercing' got the backing on the stud. There were a lot of people around with ... read more

Find me Waiting in the Ashes

Every year, there comes a time when the wind decides to blow. To blow just right and taunt me. The wind calls me to my rite where I take the time to release all of my tension and pain. All of the problems that I catch myself dwelling on. This ritual is usually performed by myself for myself, alone. I have only shared this experience twice in the presence of another person. I perform it at night, inbetween odd hours, giving myself time to later on watch the sun rise behind its cage of trees and mountains. I like to ... read more

No longer than a minute

There are things you just know you'll never do. A suspension was one of those things I would never do. Suspensions weren't for people like me, and by that I mean fat. Suspensions hurt less for people who are skinny and I certainly didn't fit into that category. So I put the thought out of my mind, or I tried to. But it kept creeping back and I kept pushing it down; creeping back and kicking it down; creeping back and beating it down! I kept on doing this until I could push no harder, kick no harder, beat no ... read more

Your soul is you. Your mind sees. Your body feels.

It all started when I was about 9. I was watching this documentary with my dad on Sundances. I understood why they were doing it. I told my dad I wanted to do it. He said I must be crazy. I never spoke of it again for many years. Just in thought. My friend Joe and I went on a trip to Salt Lake City to do a tattoo party. Then to head to Denver to do a convention. It all fell apart terribly. The party turned bad, my power unit blew, couldn't afford the trip to Denver I already ... read more

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