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Crazy knees!

I had decided I wanted to do a 4pt resurrection. Tried it, failed. I was bummed. So I decided to do a 6pt. I told Tye this. Tye knows I change my mind every 5 minutes, and was surprised when he went to mark me up, that I wanted to do my knees. 4pt. I can't tolerate hooks in the top of my knees, so 6pt (really no need in someone that weighs under 110lbs!) was out, and so was 2pt, as I've tried before, and hated. So, 4pt it was. Allana was there, and so was Chris. Tye marked ... read more

Conquering fire with my feet

First off, some back story. I was in Thailand for the Phuket Vegetarian Festival in 2007 and 2008 (and hopefully for many years to come!) and male participants in the ceremony are allowed to walk on fire, after the mahsong (spirit mediums entranced by the Chinese Emperor Gods) have done so. This is one of the most "involved" parts of the ceremony for people who are not mahsong, which only a small portion the Chinese Thai devotees are, so getting to participate is in itself quite an experience. We have been graced with being more involved than most foreigners as ... read more

why I cut myself

Hello. My name is Kyo. I have a couple of reasons why I cut myself, but starting out with how this idea of self-harm came to be would be a good start. I had a pretty lonely childhood, adolescent, and...I guess...young adult life. I was made the "black sheep" in middle school, and lost all hope in friendship by the time I was a sophomore in high school. I was all alone from sophomore year up until the middle of senior year. My loneliness was absolute. Absolutely no one in class or homeroom would talk to me. Sometimes, I would ... read more

I didn't think I could be classed as a self-harmer

As the title explains I didn't think of my self as a self-harmer but after reading other people's experiences I now have a clearer insight of self harm. I've been a self harmer for about 6 years now. My childhood wasn't easy. My mum battled cancer on and off for 10 years and she died in 2003 when I was 13. We had nursed her at home for the last 5 months of her life and even though it was better having her at home it was so hard watching her getting worse as the months passed. Sometimes when my ... read more

First Suspension... 4pt. Suicide... Guerrilla Style.

I tossed and turned the night before... anxious and nervous about my first suspension. Somehow I managed to catch a couple hours of sleep but I'm up bright and early at 9am trying to busy myself while I wait for Russ. He finally calls around noon and swings by my place to pick me up. We grab a bite to eat then run around doing some errands while we have the car on the road. The butterflies in my tummy are starting to grow as we head off to Russ' place to start poking holes in me. I'm nervous as ... read more

2pt chest suspension

I had wanted to do a chest suspension for years, after my first suspension, but I was always afraid of doing it. I did a 6pt knee, 2pt chest combo and enjoyed it. The hooks in the top of my knees gave me more trouble than anything else. I can't tolerate hooks in the top of my knees, I attempted a 2pt (6ga) knee suspension and I had shooting pains from the hooks, every time they were moved. Needless to say, I didn't get off the ground. I prefer a 4pt knee to a 6pt knee, even though I tend ... read more

My first Suspension (Lotus) at 5.Superfly Summercamp (2008)

Hey there dear Reader, I'm glad you take your time to read through my little article and I feel honoured to share my experience with you. About one and a half weeks ago I experienced my first suspension. It happened at the Superfly Summercamp, which takes place once a year, always around this time. This year it was the 5th, it's organized by my piercer and by now a good friend of mine, Chandler and his suspension group, Superfly Suspension. On Friday was the meet'n'greet, Chandler did a couple of announcements and I also met a lot of very nice ... read more

Mad dogs and Englishmen

Ok, introduction... I go to a terribly proper English boarding school, a shining example of handheld tradition, 500 years of it. I also have a horrific, deep, deep fear of becoming a cliché. These two factors are rather interesting bedfellows. I see other students appealing to Daddy for early entrance to the trust fund, or at least some new Ralph Lauren because I spilt beer on the one you gave me for Christmas, really really sorry Daddy can I least have a Mercedes? and then look at myself with a 70% scholarship and the remainder paid for by a generous ... read more

First time pulling

I did an energy pull Sunday, in ritual space within the greater context of a kink/alt/spiritual sexuality retreat. It was not what I expected. I was coming to the ritual from a class which had pushed my comfort boundaries a bit, and so took about twenty minutes to focus and re-center myself. All the same, I was terrified. I'd been wanting to do something like this for a decade, and here was an opportunity. On the one hand, it seemed a much safer environment than a public suscon or some such; on the other, the (pagan) spiritual orientation of where ... read more

My first (and only) erotic cutting experience

For as long as I can remember, I have been fascinated by anything involving domination and submission. In history classes in school I used to want to find out everything I could about all kinds of punishments/torture that had been used in the past and, even as young as five or six I used to love role playing in games with my friends as a submissive character. Of course it wasn't until I was 13 or so that I realised that it was a sexual thing and that all of my curiosity and fascination during my childhood had been building ... read more

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