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Living, Breathing, Cutting

First of all, I strongly urge anyone that reads the following to not be as nieve as I was. What I did was dangerous and I could have seriously hurt myself as well as my health. When I was quite a bit younger than I am now I had some problems with depression. For the most part I was your average run of the mill teenager. I hated my parents, thought life in general was just unbearable, and thought I would never change my mind. As you will find, I turned out to be very wrong. When I first started ... read more

From the blade to play piercing

Having to move away from cutting, I had to look for another way to deal with my stress. Not that I'm a huge cutter, but it's just unhealthy, and at some point I won't be able to handle what I'm cutting, nor will I be able to stop. So I looked into play piercing. Yet I didn't know how addictive it could turn out! I had some 25ga needles in hand, and by several occasion I did 2 or 3 play piercing on my calf, but I never really got into a decent session. I finally said some night that ... read more

Fat guys can suspend too

I'm 6'2" (188cm) and I weight about 140kg. So I'm by no means a small guy. For four years now I've been reading up on and imagining what it would be like to do a suicide suspension. There's so much material available here on BME and all over the web, and with a little effort you can generally sort the wheat from the chaff, but one thing that I could not find much information or pictures about was pictures of or experiences by larger framed people. It really seemed like one of those things that only people of a smaller ... read more

Chest pull experience

I have just returned home from a very exciting day indeed. I attended a suspension event organised by The Hanged Man Suspension Crew. It was held at Revolver Night-club in Melbourne, Australia. For those of you that know this venue, it was not as scary as it sounds. it was actually a brilliant space for it to be held. Nice open space, great staff, and a very friendly and supportive atmosphere. It was a gorgeous day outside so the staff had opened the blinds to let lots of natural light in through the floor to ceiling windows! An interesting point ... read more

And then it bled...

It was black and cold outside. I was all alone in my house. And it started again, I heard things, voices. A man, older than me command me to act against me. He was saying "Cut your flesh, pay for the sins you did," or some crap along those lines. I tried to focus on something else, but there was nothing to do, it wouldn't stop. I got to the kitchen and grabbed two or three knives my father used when he cooked. (Now he threw them away...) I drew the blade on my arm a first time... Only a ... read more

Your Love Is A Razorblade Kiss

I've never been good with telling people how I feel. I've always bottled things up. Avoid and Deny is my motto. For too long I would lay awake in my bed at night, unable to stop thinking, a feeling of dread, and a horrid ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. But one night, just before starting high school in September of 2005 I found a way to make it all go away. I've never really put any of this into words before, so please bear with me. I live in a very small town... about 2 500 ... read more

The First Ritual

Well I guess it all started a few months back when I realised that I needed to come to terms with my desires of my late teens. Pretty much randomly stumbled across this girl on line called Sez, from that point on lots of aspects of my life were about to change. I knew she had piercings but I really had no idea to what extent, and then later found that we shared some similar passions for piercing and the prospect of blood play. I then got invited by Sez to come crash a 21st Birthday party in High Wycombe, ... read more

My first attempt at suicide....

Being a fan of body modification, both light and extreme, I've been tossing around the idea of doing a suspension for a long time. I've spent countless number of hours viewing pictures of all different types of suspensions. January 28th, I finally got my chance to go up.... That Saturday was a very long and stressful day for me, which wasn't good. I wanted a to go into this with a clear head and just let everything flow. I had to move out of my apartment that day which was the worst thing I could have done. The suspension itself ... read more

My first suicide suspension

The other day I was asked if I wanted to go along while some people that I knew were going to do suspensions. I had been really bummed out when I had to miss a show that they did, as the club they had suspended at was 21 and up, and I fall just short of that age. So when I was asked to come along, I was really excited to get the chance to see the suspensions. Little did I know that I would actually be going up. I have been doing play piercing for a while, and have ... read more

my awakening

Name: littlelostrockchick female / 22 When: It just happened Artist: me Studio: home Location: seattle, wa I never realized how much beauty and emotion could be held in a small, hollow needle until I experienced play piercing for the first time. I have been a fan of piercing for years now, but up until lately, play piercing was a foreign concept for me. I had read many stories online about it, but never had I really explored the idea of it with myself. Up until recently, I never really understood why I was so drawn to piercing. I understood that ... read more

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