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Falling into the Abyss ...

ling into the Abyss ...

Friedrich Nietzsche wrote "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster; and when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you". Like most quotations, this can mean many things to many people. To me it sums up my journey into piercing in a neat little package. Bear with me for this lengthy ramble and you'll find out why.

In so many personal accounts of piercing I've read words to the effect of "I was always drawn towards piercing". It's become almost a cliché, but clichés are made because a few words sum up a common expression or feeling.

I don't know why I was drawn into piercing, I probably never will. A few key experiences in my early childhood send me down the path; seeing a girl in school with pierced ears and finding out, with a mixture of horror and fascination, that the little gold rings went right through her ears. Asking my parents if I could have rings like hers and receiving a curt "don't be silly only girls and gypsies wear earrings". Piercing my own ears with a needle stolen from my mother's sewing box and forcing a cheap pair of silver sleepers through the holes. Waiting with guilt for the day that my parents questioned the fading marks where the piercings were. Staring with fascination as two, three and four ear piercings became first an expression of punk unconformity, then a statement of fashion and finally becoming acceptable. I was standing at the edge ...

And then one day opening a copy of Time Out magazine and seeing there on the page, in full colour, body piercing. Ears, noses, nipples, navels, my God, is there anything people haven't had pierced?

Reading Body Art magazine for the first time and finding out that there are people who do this professionally and (hopefully) safely. Getting into the 'net and finding r.a.b, a.b.p.e.b and BME, finding a community of like minded people who all want to do the same mad thing. And finally finding the courage to telephone Teena Maree who was operating out of a room in Clerkenwell in London.

I'd discovered that my nipples were rather sensitive and had read many account of piercing increasing this (and a few accounts which said the reverse which I chose to ignore). So I made an appointment to see Teena and to have my nipples pierced. I was looking down into the abyss ...

Teena was bright, friendly and cheerful. She explained what was going to happen and we agreed to do it. My nipples were marked, cleaned, marked again and finally clamped. The clamping didn't really hurt, I'd had worse during bouts of nipple foreplay. The needle did, but oh my, was it ever a good hurt (and if you've stuck with this so far maybe you'll know what I mean). The endorphin rush was incredible and the moment that needle entered my flesh I willingly stepped off of the edge and started to fall into that abyss I mentioned and the start.

My nipples took three weeks to heal to a stage where I could change the jewellery. I managed to hold off for a year before I had Teena give me a PA. Another six months and Teena gave me a frenum. Six months after that and I went rushing down, headlong and got an ampallang.

I've read that it didn't hurt some people. Am I envious? You lucky s***ts! The pain was unimaginable and seemed to last for eternity. Then came the numbness and when that wore off, the pain hit me a second time, like some joker was standing there with a blow torch, playing that flame over my entire lower body. And all the while, the rush. It was the rush and the sense of incredible achievement that made it worthwhile. And the sensitivity when, well, you know? Let's just say I took an hour to come down.

That was almost two years ago. Teena left the country and hasn't returned yet. I still don't know whether I trust anyone else enough to pierce me. But the urge is getting stronger by the week and I don't know how long I can hold out.

So here I am. I started falling with the first nipple pierce. Two nipples, one ear, a frenum, a PA and an ampallang later, I'm still falling and I wouldn't change it for the world ...

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 01 Jan. 1997
in Nipple Piercing

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