The Day I decided to have myself oraley raped
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DAY ONE - What the fuck am I doing??
Monday morning 11:00 am, just spent about till 5 am on the phone with my friend Sarah deciding where in Halifax (Nova Scotia,Canada) we were going to go get our work done. We were both pretty psyched for Tuesday (the original plan) Sarah was going to get a tongue piercing and I was going to get another tattoo, the only problem is I already have two kickass tattoos on either upper arm (both are pretty big but are high enough up that a normal T-shirt can cover them up if I so desire....the one on the left is of a black Chinese serpent and a self-destructing shooting star done in a tribal design on the right....freakin cool and everybody really loves to touch them all the time at the raves. Both of these tattoos have come to bind themselves to me for really crappy times in my life and at the sametime really fantastic memories and stories to tell...the serpent is from a stupid dumb-ass relationship that I got in with a kinda friends girlfriend, it got uuuuuuuuuuuuugggggglllllllyyyy...I was an idiot, she had a model body and a brain the size of a thimble...safe to say after her boyfriend found out ( he kept askin dammit :) the trip to the tattoo parlor was not far off :) My shooting-destructing-star comes from a period right before Christmas that seemed to last a lifetime but only was a matter of months, I fell hard...very very hard, ( after loosing a seven year high school relationship and what I thought was the love of my live due to her inability to stop sleeping with other people :)....I finally got over it and found myself in the company of a girl that seemed angelic to me, I could talk to her for days and not notice the time, we shared a hellva lot but her family caused such a rift between us ( due to that fact that she is going on 20 and I have just hit the big 30..although I will send in a picture as I still get carded and everybody never pegs me more then 22-23) that we barely speak now..anywho the point to it was that we both saw a shooting star together twice within a month and it was such a sign that to this day I think about her everyday no matter who is in my life at that time, sad I suppose but at the same time very beautiful as I feel more and more blessed with every soul I encounter on this planet and I feel especially blessed to have touched hers.
Oh sweet god I am sorry for going on so much but I wanted the new people that are thinking about giving their body a partner for life a way of hearing the full experience and what led me to this wondrous day. So I wake up when Sarah calls me, BTW Sarah is my best-friend in the girl dept. (Ed and Jay being my best guys) her and I seem to feed off of each others vibes and that is way cool, we are scary-alike in the way we think and we can talk for hours every night cause she works nights and I get to sleep in as I work afternoons and evenings as I just got done quitting my 40,000 + job as a cpu programmer cause I realized that without people around me I just go freakin postal, spent a good deal of time in school to realize that what I thought was "MY" dream had in fact been a a frickin nightmare
:( Ohhhh well if you ever have the time rent Office Space when it comes out on video..it pretty much explains me and why I am so frickin happy now :) Anyhow Sarah wakes my ass up and says that her parents are not letting her get it done because her sister is only 16 and that since they all live in the same household she does not want her influencing her 'baby' sister. Good dammit that sucked and it was also about this time that I decided to lay it on her that I was also gettin my tongue done so she could have a partner and we would be linked forever in that one act, never would we touch it or feel it without that day making its way back into our memories and remembering how amazingly special it was that we had found each others friendships.
Well, Sarah got pissed...I don't mean little pissed, I mean crack my skull open and feast on my brains pissed :) She had been talkin about getting hers done since almost the first day I met her, she just got back from Toronto and was psyched to get it done. But she ain't leavin home anytime soon and I have my own condo so the only person I have to prove myself to it my little doggie pebbles (she is the best thing in my life and she makes me wake up with a smile everytime I see her cute face...she is part terrier/part Dalmatian!!!!) and she is pretty damn happy to always see me :) So as I saw it she should have been happy for at least one of us to have it done and I swore I would tell everyone that it was her idea * I GOT THE IDEA TO GET MY TONGUE PIERCED FROM SARAH EVERYONE Anyhow she has not spoken to me since I got back from getting it done which really bites but she likes to punish me when we get into arguments and she thinks she is right :)
So I drove over to Halifax to get it done but the guy was gone for a week so I was pissed, it was now after 11 and I had to stop at the Motor Vehicle place to pay my parking tickets and get to work for 1, well when I got to pay my tickets they said that since I had so many (from workin that shit-ass butt-monkey cpu job downtime.....I am not bitter dammit :) that I had to appear in front of the judge at 4:30 yesterday afternoon, so I drove out to work and told my boss (who by the way is the best guy I have ever worked for, he is ex-navy and we are friends rather then boss-employee which makes my life ever so easier ) that I had to leave to go to court, but not before I found a place to get myself pierced. Went to court, dammit I hate the frickin man' , and paid my stupid ass fines like I had intended to that morning. Then I headed down the street to a place that has been around longer then me so I knew the rep and it was all good baby, had to wait for him to finish up with a tattoo so I spent my time gettin as much info as possible and pickin out what will be my new bright purple titanium barbell in a few weeks...I must admit that I did get a little nervous when he sat me down and asked me to stick out my tongue...he said it was small across but nice and long for a centered piercing, that was fine by me cause that is what I wanted, he pulled my tongue out after getting me to rinse and sprayed me and then clamped me down, personally I did not mind the clamp, out of the corner of my eye, like a bad seen from Jaws with the helpless swimmer looking over his shoulder to see a fin the size of a VW Bug, I felt what could be described as a rather painful insertion but before I could even realize the pain to say fuck it was done and he was screwing on the ball underneath, he got me to rinse again, little blood, nothing serious, he gave me the aftercare instructions and disposed of all the evidence in the proper manner and I shook his hand and took a look in the mirror, paid my $65 and a $5 tip on top of that cause the guy was just tooo cool about the whole thing. I went and jumped in the car and drove back home, I made a stop for popcicles and slushies on the way :) I did start to notice that it seemed to have a hot heartbeat of its own but I suppose if I drove a stake through your heart you might get a little hot too. You will catch your piercing within the first few hours at least once, but only ONCE unless you are one of those people that likes to have tears rolling down their cheeks :)
It was damn near impossible to eat the Popsicle's because it feels like your mouth has too much stuff in it, and plus the sugar in it seems to make you bleed a little longer, BTW my doctor has said to take Tylenol and not aspirin because aspirin slows down the blood flow and can cause you blood to clot and also it slows down the healing process because it will heal quicker with the proper amount of blood flowing through your tongue. Ok the next part was necessary... I had to light up some wonder-fantastic-herb-for-all-injuries and sat back and watch the pain disappear, for all people that do not have the availability I would suggest the slammin your head in the freezer door to numb the weird feeling..either way is up to you :) Fell asleep and woke up this morning......DAY 2 comes tomorrow
DAY 2 - Damn it feels Good To Be a Gangsta
Or so I would think up till this moment....I woke up Tuesday morning without even realizing that I had my tongue pierced, no pain whatsoever and I made sure to clean underneath both balls in case it swelled allot and I would miss this chance. I also made sure that they were tight, btw I have yet to find them loose in anyway whatsoever. Went most of the day without even trying to eat as it seemed pointless as long as I was still seeing straight I figured I would put off solid food just to give my tongue a break for me ripping a hole through it the day before.
Evening came and I must say I now see why it gets bothersome and somewhat painful in the first few days hangin with your friends as they are always asking to see it and then saying to every person they know "Guess What So and So did!!" Safe to say I am back home by myself now and am screening my calls as I talked to my way cool dentist today and even though he did not completely agree he had known quite a few people that had it done and it was all good. He said that my tongue would heal twice as fast, maybe completely within 7-10 days unlike the average month the more you can keep it in your mouth as everytime you stick it out it destroys the cells that are trying to heal around the barbell, so I figure this guy has the knowledge of the tongue so I figure I don't work again till Friday so I will treat it the best way possible till I am forced into talkin allot, I also am going to the summers biggest outdoor party (rave) about an hours drive from here and they are expecting about 2-3000 people as it is free and the talent is from all around Canada and some from the USA too. That should be an interesting night for me, have to avoid the kissing thing which chomps bigtime but ohh well there will always be other parties and I only have one tongue so I am going to keep it locked up like a virgin prom-queen's angry drunken unemployed Daddy :)
Ok, it is around 7:30 now and I must say it is starting to swell, not really noticeable but still weird to talk and damn I am hungry, have not actually eaten solid food since Sunday afternoon, that is about 65 hours now, ohh well Ghandi would be proud :) Took a trip over to face my Dad (Who is very conservative Overseas Bank Investment Analyst) and to watch him look at me and shake his head. He is pretty cool and all because outside of the ears being done you really can't tell that I have the wildfire inside of me. The shock value of watching people who I have known when I just have on a tanktop is enough for be to crack open a beer and sit and laugh :) Anywho, nobody was home at all and so I wasted a trip but I did manage to pick up a smaller bottle of mouthwash to leave in the car once I mix it 50/50 with water.
Stayed up till about am, Tylenol really seems to help with the normal dull feeling of something healing on your body, following the instructions set down in the movie half-baked also helps, damn, this is the first time that I have had this much time to just sit back and enjoy everyday...I would suggest this for everybody as it will be the first time in your mature life that you get to center completely on yourself and it makes you learn allot about yourself that you may have never realized before :)
DAY 3 - Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww SHIT
Woke up at around 7:45am and I must say my tongue was pretty sore all the way around the piercing and now I know what they meant by swelling, still have allot of room but I toss that up to the fact that my tongue is longer then it is wide and thick normally. Had to take some vitamins and some Tylenol and I fell back to sleep.
12:12 PM - wow what a weird time, anywho I feel much better, cleaned the balls again and rinsed a few times as I find that always helps after everything, your tongue just feels allot better about 5 minutes later, probable because it is laughing at you saying, "ohhhhhh yeah, you think your going to get away with stabbing me eh?......Well at the end of all this I will be laughing at you cause you will be a drunk from the amount of mouthwash you are using :) "
Ohh yeah before I forget I meant to mention that the advice my piercer gave me was also the advice my dentist gave me as well, don't take anything with dairy products in it for the first two weeks, no milk,cheese,milkshakes or nothin like that as it will dramatically reduce the healing process as alot of dairy products contain huge amounts of bacteria that are needed so the product does not break down to quickly so that they have a "shelf life", this stuff is find when you don't have an open wound in your mouth but is just doing more damage then good, if you really need your milk fix my dentist suggested getting the plastic-coated calcium tablets from your local drugstore. Just sittin here watchin some vid's on muchmusic and I figure I will make a few music cd's today and play a little AVP with a few friends as they are startin to bitch for me to start coming out at nights. oh yeah, I was finally able to eat a few unsalted crackers, did not even have to break them down with my hands first, just bit them and let them pass to the center of my mouth first so my piercing could feel food for the first time and then I would just push it to one side and crunch them up and swallow, a cup of water is a must for any eating experience in the early going I would think, I even let the ball smash the crackers by pushin them against the roof of my mouth, really frickin cool. Can't wait for my next trip south of the boarder with whoever is the lucky friend for that evening... I can see some really amazing times coming from this :)
Ok, well I will update the rest of today later, thanks all, also btw my friend Sarah is still not talking to me and after I sent her my initial e-mail to all of you she just sent me an equally long one that said how you should never tell your friends of your hopes and dreams because they might cheat you out of them, sad I know but she has a good heart and she will come around I hope...I unlike allot of people find it hard to hold a grudge as it seems like such a waste of energy to waste your feelings on that of anger because in this anger you might be so blinded that you might miss out on the greatest experiences of your life. Ohh well I will cross my fingers and hope it all works out :)
DAY 3 - Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww SHIT con't
Sat around for most of the afternoon and talked to my friend via ICQ. Jason has been my best-friend for the last 20 years and it really bites that he now lives in Toronto. I was quite surprised by his first reaction phrase of "Freak" and "what have I become " lines. I would suppose for allot of people looking in that I may have changed quite abit in the past year, dropped down to a lean,nice feeling 156pounds from what used to be 235, also added a few tattoos and a few ear piercings and a whole new wardrobe and I can see why people are not recognizing me at the mall. But it is all for the best I tell people, I jog now, I work out daily just to keep fit and I have stopped eating out altogether and if I have to then I know what to order now to get the best nutrients vs the most fried piece of crap that I used to shove down my throat. I guess what people have to understand is that I now see myself and my body in a whole different light, my body is now my temple and I figured it has long deserved somebody to treat it like a shrine and occasionally anoint it with gifts.
Jay is getting a daily copy of this to show him the progress and he still thinks I have baked my brain on drugs :( You would think the guy that you are closer to then almost any of your family members would understand you but maybe he will someday. Of all my closest friends only Ed and Karmin were psyched to see it so far, Sarah and Jay have bummed me out about it but I will open their eyes soon I hope. Ed thought it was cool and he wanted to know everything that was involved. He is too afraid to get one himself and since his family is Chinese I figure they would sacrifice him if they found out.
Ed and I went to the mall and I must say that during the first week the more time you can actually avoid the social situations the better!! I hated having to spit out mouthwash next to my car especially since I had on a whiteshirt and my skater jeans and did not want to accidentally drool on them. We looked around for awhile and I had a smoke (note - This has dramatically reduced my smoking habits, went from about close to half-pack down to like three full cig's per day :) Stopped at Future Shop to see my buddy Deny but he had already went home so Ed checked out the prices on some burners (Ed and I mix our own music and are constantly making people mix-cd's for their parties and such) Got a few groceries and headed home. Had no problem whatsoever having some chunky-style chicken noodle soup and a few more crackers. Took some more painkillers and laid back and played a little quake and watched a couple of movies (Something About Mary and Office Space as they get me in a funny mood)
Oakley Doakley, Tongue now stings like a bitch, did not like something in the soup or the salt from the crackers(ate the wrong ones) Mouthwashed an extra time and it helped allot.
* Note - at this time I am receiving messages from my best-bud Jay tellin me that I am loosin it, dammit I wish he could just see me in person to know that I am still the same guy, I have just opened up what was such a narrow view on life to express myself the way I want too, I look like everyone else with my normal clothes on except for each ear being pierced....ohhhhhh like that is soooooo strange :) I am going up to see him in Toronto at the end of August and I am going to kick his ass for riding me so damn hard on this. Shit, he could shave his head and start wearing a robe and I would still love him the same.
Fell asleep after writing Sarah an e-mail.......
DAY 4 - Holy Mother Mercy Love Of Christ Frickin Hell
Woke up this morning and this puppy has swollen, it really does not like too much salt yet so I am stickin to liquid only for now, I proved to myself that I could eat food rather easily and so now I will just let the swelling come down till next week before I let my tongue get bashed around again. The barbells actually feel tight but the swelling is going down fast with an ice-cube in my mouth, not as long of a sleep as the previous days but I usually run on about 4-5 hours sleep regularly.
Was woken up by the sound of my BBQ cover being shut, jumped up out of bed and realized what it was. Remembered how my conversation with Sarah went yesterday where things dissolved so far that I have my best girlfriend actually questioning our friendship because she thinks that I stole her dream. She said she was going to drop off some cd's and a book she had of mine, I told her I wanted nothing to do with this anymore because no matter what I said to her she would not forgive me. NOTE To Every Human Being - If you don't give a person a way to apologize then how the hell can they ever get things right again?? I wrote her a long e-mail and I hope it reasons with her but seeing as she was already here this morning I am not sure what good it has done, I wish to fricken hell that for once in my bloody life people would just stand behind me instead of in front. I did not decide to rob a bank or shoot the president, I choose to adorn my self with a piercing, not through my nose and not through my one-eyed monster....It is a tongue piercing, get over it people, I love it and other people will too and if you don't want to see it then don't ask, I ain't going to hang it out of my mouth at you like a ghoul or something.
Afternoon time now and I have abit of a cough which hurts like a bitch on the tongue, will check back later
DAY 4 con't
Went to sleep for awhile and have now discovered that if I have a little soup or food that the tongue will swell up just from the action it is getting so I just suck on an ice cube right after rinsing and it seems to help quite abit. Went and played some pool with Ed over in Halifax and am still frustrated by the inability to speak completely normal.
Got home and watched a few shows and played a few games with everyone over the net as that way I don't have to talk, oh yeah, FINALLY made up with Sarah, she has forgiven me for getting it done but is still pissed off, she is one of those people that no matter how much she says she is over something you know it just ain't so. Oh well, 2 days and counting now before the big party and I am really looking forward to it, take a few pills and go to sleep around 1am and hope my tongue wakes up in less pain then today.
DAY 5 - IF YA AIN'T DOWN WITH THE PIERCING...THEN I GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA
Woke up around 7am (this blows) but I rolled around my tongue as I do every morning now to A) Judge the pain and swelling and B) Make sure it is still there, really no pain and a hellva lot of play has returned to the barbell which would mean the swelling is finally leaving and my speech is allot better.
Took my Vitamins and pain killers and a drink of juice and I feel really good, stuck it out to examine what color of the rainbow my tongue was today and was pleasantly suprised that the pinkish hue was returning. Almost able to move the balls so high above my tongue that if it is this good tomorrow with no swelling then I will get my new barbell and let the good times roll :)
At this time I would have to say that my dentist helped allot in how to care for it, the no dairy, no abuse, no aspirin really has helped speed up the recovery and I am feelin pretty damn good today, I would say the amount of working out and starving myself in the last 5 days has probable dropped me down closer to 150 but I will do my best to gain that back in muscle over the upcoming weeks.
So that has pretty much been my experience, I hope everyone who is considering one gets it done because although you really have to get used to it, in the long run I can see it being nothing but a good thing in my body. As for the people who call you freak and really mean it then I say "Fuck Them", you really can't get more racist then someone who judges you on the way you dress or the color of your hair or whatever, damn, most of the people I see downtown should have been pulled over by the fashion police before they stepped out of their houses :)
Anyhow I have really enjoyed expressing my overall experience of this week and I will let you know in a few weeks how I feel, but I know myself pretty damn good and this is here to stay, so happy piercing and if you have any questions about anything at all just e-mail me
See Ya, Brad email@example.com
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 01 July 1999
in Tongue Piercing