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i've created a monster

   I had never heard or seen anything like a body suspension until I went into a piercing studio in my town looking for someone to do my scarification.  Not only did I find someone I also found my destiny so to speak.  On the wall was hanging a picture of the owner of the establishment doing a superman suspension.  I was in total awe and new the second I saw it that that would be me someday.  As I'm still waiting for the day I do a superman, here is the story of my upper back suspensions.

So I said I knew it would happen but it wasn't a very easy thing to arrange.  The guy in the picture was also the guy doing my scarification.  So I was bringing it up a lot during our sessions trying to talk him into facilitating my suspension but he seemed wary.   He had never hung a woman before and was afraid of hurting me.  He also thought I would back out at the last minute so he didn't want to waste his time.  My friend from Art School who was a mutual friend was going to do a big photo shoot of the whole thing so he started warming up to the idea.  They both agreed to do it together and were actually pretty excited about it once they had decided to go through with it, as was I.  So they talked and talked and talked and nothing happened until the most important spoke on the wheel moved to Hawaii.  So now I thought, who am I going to find and how am I going to convince them that I am serious.  Until, taadaa, he came back for a visit and they call me and want to arrange  things again.  Hooray!  This is it, it's finally gonna happen after almost a year of false alarms.  Nope, he leaves again for Hawaii but says he'll be back sometime and we'll do it then because he just didn't have time this time around.  Third times a charm, right?  Wrong.  I find out later that when he did come back they did the photo shoot with another girl who got the hooks in her back but then totally chickened out.  Shoulda used me.

Finally, I think out of guilt, they agreed to do it again.  I, of course, didn't really believe them but I still hoped.  Then the day arrived, it was really my turn.  We went to a big warehouse and got a forklift to hook me to and then raise me up.  I couldn't eat anything all day and I couldn't sit still for a second.  It took quite a while to get everything ready and I just paced and paced until it was time to get hooked.  We used four hooks and he had me lay on the floor and pinched my back really hard to give me the best feel possible for what was gonna happen next.  It did not compare at all.  Apparently, the hooks he had were not as sharp as they should have been so instead of slipping through like butter he had to grunt and groan and use all his might and two separate pushes to get them through.  I was sweating profusely and had and never will, with the exception of maybe childbirth, feel that intense a pain again.  I wanted to cry but I held my breath and held it al l in.  Once it was done the pain immediately went away.

They hooked me up to the cord from the forklift and evened out the pressure of the lines and it was time to be airborne.  It hurt a lot and I had to have my friend stand there holding my hands.  My skin stretched away from my back little by little until my feet came off the ground.  They only lifted me about two feet off the ground but it was enough.  The next fifteen minutes were the best of my life.  It was by far the best high of my life.  I felt like I was back floating in my mothers womb.  Instead of trying to ignore the pain I concentrated on nothing else.  I grew up catholic and in so doing learned that I don't agree with organized religion.  This is my religion now.  I felt like I was in another world and that world took away all of my pain and aggravation at life and left me more peaceful and happy than I had ever been.  I don't know if it was turning the emotional pain in to physical and thus releasing it but a weight was lifted off of me that day.  For months aft erward I literally walked around with a never ending smile.  Once in the middle of the suspension I got very nauseous and actually puked in a trash can but kept hanging until it became unbearable for my lower back.  I was a little angry that the reason I had to come down was because something else hurt worse than the hooks in my flesh.  As soon as my feet hit the ground I wanted right back up.

I was so anxious to do it again so 4 months later I got the chance.   This time I  was able to be alone (with someone within ear shot) which is how I wanted it to be the first time.  I was in the dark in a circle of candles and I was more confident so I kept myself  swinging the entire time.  This kept the pressure off my lower spine so I was able to stay suspended for and hour and a half.  Although it was amazing as well, I don't think any will ever be as transforming as my first time.  Whenever I get really stressed out or upset I wish I could suspend right then but I just think about that experience and it helps me get through.  I keep all of my emotions and worries bottled up inside and I feel like this is my way to express them and get rid of them so I don't explode.  Because once you do a suspension nothing else matters, at least until the high goes away which can last quite a while.  Someday I hope to lose count of the times I've done a suspension.


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 04 Dec. 2002
in Ritual

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Artist: some+friends
Studio: warehouse
Location: indianapolis%2C+IN

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