arse piercing in the garden!!
Arse piercing in the garden is not advised!!
I recently had my arse pierced in my garden. Strange but true, a man called Randy did it. It started out as a joke but we ended up doing it. My name is cynical Kris and this is my story.
One sunny afternoon too recently to mention, I invited several of my friends to join me in my garden for the first days of real sun this year. We started drinking and having a laugh, we bought a paddling pool and blew it up. Until my mate randy, he is a piercer, pierced the pool and it ruined it! But we were drunk so... now were all a little adventurous and we like to set ourselves challenges like they do on a certain dare devil stunt show screened on a certain music channel on TV... so we got to talking bout stunts. One guy got his arse pierced recently and we started talking about that. Somebody dared me to do it and before you knew it I was pulling my pants down and slapping my cheek to numb it!! 'Come on Randy' I screamed! 'Pierce my fucking arse!'
Everything was prepared properly and everything involved was sterilized. Randy wore his special gloves and got the needle ready. I bent over and grabbed my ankles, randy swabbed my arse with cotton wool and that antiseptic stuff, and it was all brown. Reddish brown and stank to high heaven... so I got my self in the right frame of mind, I was still a little woozy from the booze. I grabbed my friend's hand and almost broke her knuckle when the needle pierced the first cheek! Woo, I thought, how strange, I wanted to run, but my arse stopped working. I couldn't move, my friends were rolling with laughter, one of them filmed it!
The needle soon found its way through my second cheek and I felt so relived that humans only have two bum cheeks and not seven or more! If we had seven or more, it would be several times more painful. I stood there transfixed on the pain in the arse I was experiencing while Randy transferred the barbell through the holes. After a while my friends stopped laughing and asked me if I was alright! I felt fine but my arse was starting to feel as hot as fire and I was not sure that I liked it. 'Randy my buttocks are burning!' I said. Randy explained that it was normal and that I should relax.
By this time Randy was looking pretty pleased with himself and a few more people started taking pictures. I must admit that I felt a bit shocked by what I had just done but, as the adrenalin wore off, I started to feel more relaxed and relieved! Someone handed me a slice of watermelon and I tucked in while grinning and looking in the mirror at my crazy new piercing. Randy tried to get me to participate in a game of Twister but I think he was trying to make a joke out of me for being so crazy as to have pierced my arse!
I must admit that I started to feel faint though there was hardly a bead of blood coming from my arse. Randy had pierced it well and he knew he has. His smug grin gave away that! He explained to me that it was his first deep flesh piercing of this type and he though he had executed it well.
I was over the moon and asked Randy how long it would take until I could change the jewelry for a large loop! Randy started laughing so hard that everyone stopped doing what they were doing and looked in our directions. Randy snorted and giggled away whilst I felt my face redden like a beetroot. I was well aware that I had made a fool of myself, being new to body piercing and all, but I was not quite sure how! Eventually Randy calmed down and explained that this was just a joke and in no way a permanent piercing! He told me it would never heal and that I would be in intolerable pain for the rest of my life! My whole arse would become infected and I would never be able to sit down, shit or wipe my arse properly!
I was absolutely dumbfounded and felt my eye welling with tears. I know it sounds stupid but I really thought I could make the piercing look cool and that I would get used to wearing it as other people do where they have strange areas of their body pierced! I thought it was a pretty unique piercing to have and was so furious with Randy for not warning me of the temporary status of this piercing before hand.
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 25 April 2002