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my first suspension and the beauty i felt

When I was fourteen, I received my first non-ear piercing, a tongue piercing. At this point, I found the BME zine, and submitted my tongue piercing procedure pictures. After submitting my pictured, I decided to explore the other aspects of the site, including the suspension pictures. I was completely amazed at the beauty I saw by them. I knew at that point I wanted to do a suspension.

At the end of last year (2000), I came to the conclusion that I was going to do a suspension, and do it ASAP. But due to the lack of being of age, I was not able to do so. So I decided I wanted to do my first suspension as a 'coming of age' ritual. I asked my good friend Tim (iam: <3) if he would be interested in experiencing this ritual. He said yes, and got really excited about it. As I looked for groups to help me out with helping my 'coming of age' ritual, I was having trouble finding a group that would have the time to do so. I was originally supposed to do the ritual with I was cured, but they scheduled a suspension fest 2 days before my birthday, and wouldn't be able to assist with my ritual. After desperately trying to find a group, I failed trying find one for my birthday.

A month ago (11/12/01 is the current date), and Tim IM'ed me one day, and said he was going to do a suspension at a suspension fest with rites of passage. I wasn't aware of the group up until this point. I got excited, and tried to find information on this fest, but wasn't able to go to it because it conflicted with me going down south for a Animal Liberation protest. So I got a hold of rites of passage and asked if they would be able to assist in my suicide suspension. They accepted. I was jumping for joy. I was going to be able to finally do what I have wanted to do for years now. I told Tim, and he decided to change the date of his suspension to be able to do the ritual with me, since we have planned on doing it for a year now. This made me even happier, not only will I be able to suspend, but also I will be able to suspend with one of my best friends! So we set up a date to November 9th, and added another person to the suspensions, Mark.

As the coming days approached, I was getting nervous, excited, and anxious. In the beginning, I started to fast, but Emery asked me not to because with his experience, fasting makes people nauseous and sick while doing a suspension. So, the date November 8th comes along. I go to work to pick up my paycheck, but it doesn't come. I wait till 7pm until it comes, and I leave to Billerica, MA, where Hollie lives. I get there at around 10:30, hang out like old times, and get sleep before the big day tomorrow.

The big day comes along. We all wake up at around 9am. Tim and I go upstairs, and eat some food and drink tea while waiting for Mark to show up. When Mark shows up, we pack my car up, and we all leave to Pittsfield.

As we get to Pittsfield, we got lost a few times, but oddly enough, we get there on time. It's 1:00pm, and we park, and walk to Emery's house. We had to wait a little bit, as he went to get a space heater for the garage, which was super cold because of temperature of the air.

Now we are ready. We sign all the necessary paper work, and they show us all the materials, and what we need to know. Then we decided who was going to go first, and Mark volunteered to go first.

I was able to hold Mark's skin while they pierced his skin. This was an amazing experience for me as well, because I felt I was helping someone also having this amazing experience. He gets hooked up, and after a few minutes, he's ready to get clipped up. They clipped his hooks, and he seemed to get nauseous, so they unclipped him. After a few minutes, felt better, and was able to get clipped up again, and was ready to be suspended. He asks to be slowly lifted up, and he starts to hang. He was up for 3 minutes, and was ready to get down. It was amazing. He did so well. Now it's my turn.

They start to get the materials ready for me to get hooked up, and started to get butterflies in my stomach. I was scared. I was marked up while Emery went to get his boom box so I would be able to listen to music while I was being suspended. As Emery gets back, they ask me to lie down to get pierced. Tim and Mark held my skin, while they pierced my back 2 needles at one time. The piercing wasn't as bad as I thought, and actually liked getting pierced. I get up and start to get comfortable with my hooks. After a few minutes, I asked to be clipped to the rig. After being clipped, I took my time getting even more used to the hooks by rocking back and forth to get the feel of hooks pulling my skin. Even that was amazing. After a few minutes of getting used to them, and chatting with everyone, I begin to meditate, and asked to be lifted up. Emery slowly lifts me up. This is the most amazing feeling in the world. Words cannot explain the feeling. After what feels lik e 5 minutes, I am completely suspended. I was in a completely beautiful place. The feeling of weightlessness and the state of peacefulness was just incredible. Again, words just can't explain how beautiful this is. After a minute, I asked to be swung. Emery pushes my elbows (my arms were crossed and holding on to my shoulder), and I swing for another minute. I felt like I was flying. Again, it was so beautiful. After another minutes, I ask to be let down because I was having trouble breathing, which I was later told was because of either my body's reaction, or the position of the hooks. I get let down, and unclipped. I was in complete aw of the experience I had just received. I wanted to cry in happiness. After a few minutes, they took out my hooks, and messaged my back to let the air in my back be released. They said if they had to choose a number between 1 and 10 with the air in my back, they pick 8. It was filled with so much air. After they messaged my bac k, I got up, and it was Tim's turn.

Tim gets pierced and hooked with little trouble, and is ready to be clipped. After he gets clipped, gets a reaction, very similar to Mark, and felt sick. They unclipped him, and he need to get air. He gets re-clipped, and he try's to lower himself by standing on a tackle box. He attempts, but doesn't succeed. It was to weird to lower himself, so he gets unclipped again. He eats some more food, and gets re-clipped. He asks to be cranked up, and as he gets off the ground, he scraps his toenail. He asks to be lowered. After being unclipped, he sits down, and after a few minutes, asks to be unhooked. His body had enough for the day. I'm proud of you Tim, you suspended J.

After thanking Emery and Dan, we give out donations, and journey on back home. I'd like to thank Emery and Dan for all their help with this amazing and beautiful experience, as well as Tim, Mark, Hollie, and Danielle for being there. I love you all.


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 15 Nov. 2001
in Ritual

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Artist: rites+of+passage
Studio: a+garage
Location: pittsfield%2C+mass

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