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my scars - stars

I always found scars fascinating. Ever since I saw a TV program about body mods. I remember a girl getting branded and me thinking, how fascinating it was and how I would probably never have a chance to experience anything like that. Years passed and the thought remained, until recently.

I met Adam at the party. His friend told me, that he owned a tattoo parlor. We started talking about cover-ups (I have a couple of really scary tattoos) and I took his card. We met again very soon, as he did my eyebrow piercing. It was in his studio, where I saw the scars that he had done. I noticed the photos on the wall, but was too afraid to inquire. I thought that he would laugh me off.

It was not until three months later, that we met again. I went for another piercing, but stayed much longer than expected. We started a conversation, than we met again and eventually became a couple. But even then I was too afraid too ask.

Finally, there came the night. We went to the party, I had a couple of drinks (Adam is sXe) and started a would-be-innocent conversation about scars. He told me, how he had done them on a couple of friends and I finally got the guts to ask, whether he could perform this on me.

I expected the worst. I expected, that he'd laugh or tell me that I was too weak. But his reaction was more than enthusiastic. When we talked, he said that he could see, how I really wanted it and would be glad to perform the operation. I thought, that he'd say, that it would be sometime in the future, but he said "why don't we do it next weekend?"

Now, that was a bit of a shock. I don't think I was prepared for it. Next day, when the booze wore off, I started to have second thoughts. I imagined the incredible pain that I'd have to endure. This was the point, when Adam had a clever idea. He drew the picture I wanted (we talked it over and agreed on three nautical stars on the back, around the hip) and told me to walk around for a couple of days to see, whether it would fit me. At work, I went to the toilet every 15 minutes to have a glance. I told no one about it, but I was more and more convinced, that I'd do it. We decided, that we'd do it on Sunday.

On the night before, we went to the party. We left early, not telling anyone why. On Sunday I woke up thinking that this would be the day. We took a train to the studio. Adam told me I could withdraw anytime before entering the studio - as soon as I stepped in, I could not give up anymore.

We got there around 4 p.m. The first thing we noticed was that someone had cut off the electricity. I was sure, that this would be the end of our plans, but Adam had already prepared everything and said, that we'd manage by daylight. This was the moment when I got really scared. We drew the stars on my hip, then he applied the anaesthetic and told me to wait half an hour. I had a cigarette and waited.

Half an hour later I was scared to the bone. I laid on the sofa and prepared for the worst. And the worst came - the first cut was almost unbearable. I was close to tears. He'd do the shallow cut, than pour lidocain on it and to another, deep cut. The first cut I screamed, then I moaned quietly, eventually was silent. I took ages, before he said that he finished the first star. He then wanted me to decide, whether I would like an anaesthetic injection or I wanted to carry on. Having heard how injections hurt I decided to give it a go.

We were ready in 45 minutes. I remember how reluctant I was to see the outcome - I wanted Adam to tell me, whether it looked good instead. But he made me see it and indeed - there were three stars carved on my body. They'd remain there forever. He sprayed some hydrogen peroxide on them and we went home. It was hard for me to walk, but I managed.

I had a couple of beers (it is absolutely forbidden!!! but it eased my pain and Adam allowed me to) and we soon went to sleep. As soon as the effect of the beer wore off I got fever. I woke up at night, feeling not-so-well. Adam made me some tea and I finally managed to get some sleep. In the morning I decided I would not go to work that day, as I was rather unconscious. Adam applied a fresh bandage on my wounds and sprayed them with something that contained iodine. Ouch that hurt! As if someone kicked me hard with the boot! I cried. I didn't cry when the scars were made, but I cried the morning after. This was the worst. I never allowed him to use that spray again.

For the next few days my back was all covered with bandages. I didn't get to see much of my scar, except for the moments I had them changed. I made a photo with my mobile on one of the rare occasions and finally started to show off. Everyone was impressed. After a few days I started to rub the scars with a sponge. It was actually much fun. I took bigger scabs off with the fingernail and rubbed the rest very hard.

It's been more that a month now. The stars are almost healed -they itch a lot! I am very proud of myself - so is Adam. We are planning to add one more star on the opposite back. I now feel better prepared for it. No matter what - I'm truly happy that I got my stars and that it was my future husband who did them. We're getting married on September the 25th.


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 09 Oct. 2006
in Scarification

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Artist: Adam
Studio: Blues+Tattoo
Location: Poland

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