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A word about self cutting

I've always loved body mods, from my mom's piercings and tattoos to my dad's really cool ear piercings (double lobe, daith, and a "bolt" in the other), bod mods have always fascinated me. Even my sister had her ears pierced (it was a standard earlobe piercing done by my mom with diamond ear studs). All these mods made me want something of my own. Something that no one I knew had. But what? Too young for ink, didn't want a piercing. Whats left? Not much, so I left the idea alone for about 3 years. One day I saw a special on scarification on National Geographic, and I thought it was really amazing how the body could do that! I had surgical scars, and I've never really thought much of them, after all they were scars caused by something that I didn't like and I was afraid of. But the idea of cutting yourself in a pattern and have your body scar over like that was sheer genius. I quickly did a Google search on it and up came BME, and when I looked at the scarification page I was amazed at how great some of those artists were (Brian Decker, Wayde Dunn and Lord of the Blade come to mind). At the time, however, I never even dreamed I would be doing something like that, let alone do it myself, after all I DID have that one self mutilating friend who cut up her arm, and that produced ugly scars. Plus the pain, how could I ever deal with something that is slitting my skin open? Little did I know, I wouldn't feel any pain, and little did I know that it would be as complicated as it was. Fast forward to about a month ago. After looking at every picture of scarification on BME, (notice how I didn't say read any experiences or the BME wiki), I was ready to do it. But what and where? Well my name is Kyle Khachadurian, one of my best friends is named Kara, and of course my girlfriend's name is Krista. So the letter K seemed perfect... okay, got the design picked out, but where? Somewhere that can be concealed easy, but can also be easily shown off... hmm.. Oh, what about my hand? Sounds okay, where on my hand though? Lets see, wrist is out... palm? No... hmm... I know! My thumb! Rather the fat part of your hand that "becomes" your thumb. I took out a Sharpie and put a small K right in that area. I liked it. A lot. K is a big letter for me, and it seemed like a simple enough design right? After all it is just three lines. Well it turns out it wouldn't be nearly as simple as I thought. About a week later I found the tool I was going to do it with. A broken hard drive platter from a dead MP3 player. I had dropped it and the platter shattered all over the room, I cleaned it up but I kept that "special" piece for myself. That night, I looked at the piece of the platter and I looked at my thumb and I decided that I was going to do it. Right then and there. I looked for something to clean up the blood and I found a nice white sock. I decided to not do this in my bedroom and that my bathroom would be a much better place. I put the sock back and headed into my bathroom. I took a long, hard look in the mirror and pressed the platter on my thumb really hard. It bled a little, but it was such a shallow cut that it would be gone in a matter of hours. I figured that I'd have to make it deeper, so I pressed the platter on that same spot only this time I dragged it in the shape of, well, a straight line. It didn't hurt too much, in fact, it hurt a lot less then what I thought it would be. Still, it hurt enough for me to squeeze my eyes shut and grit my teeth. This time there was blood, not a lot, but way more then before. I cleaned it up with some toilet paper and to my surprise it didn't stop right away. So I took a big wad of toilet paper and put it right on the cut and held it there, and with my other hand I put pressure on the nearest vein (even though I went no where near it I figured it couldn't hurt). Finally it stopped, I washed my hands and rinsed the platter, and set off to do the upper slanted line of the K. I tilted my hand in such a way that it would be a straight line but come out slanted. I did one of those "press cuts" to make sure it wouldn't come out misaligned or something. Well it didn't and then I did my real cut just like before. This one hurt a lot less then the first one, probably because I knew exactly what it felt like now. Finally there was the third and final cut. The lower slanted line of the K. This one was by far the toughest cut. First of all, even though it didn't hurt a lot, I've never seen that much of my own blood before so I was a bit shaky. Second, the platter got a bit dull and it was harder to cut. Third, this was the last cut, so it has to be perfect otherwise it would look lopsided or something. I tilted my hand so it would be a straight cut, then I did one of those "press cuts". I followed through with the normal cut and everything was fine. I cleaned up the blood and washed the platter and my hands. The next morning I irritated it with some salt. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOWCH That hurt a lot. A whole lot more then what I expected. In about a week it scabbed over and I noticed I didn't like it, it was a little lopsided. So that night I took the platter and slashed the whole thing open again. This time I liked it. It scabbed over but I picked them (big no no) and it just looked like a circle with three lines coming out of it. I let it scar over and it looked pretty decent and I'm happy with it. I've touched it up a little bit since then because the lower slanted line on the K was fading. But other than that I've been very happy with it. Fast forward to now and it still looks okay, I don't hide it, although I should. It looks a little odd but you could tell what it is. I'm still very happy with it but I do wish it turned out better. I do not recommend anyone do what I did. Do not do this at home and if you do make sure you read, read, read. If I had read about scarification on the BME wiki then I'm sure my little K would've turned out a lot better.

Thank you for taking time to read this. I hope you guys heed my warning. Happy modding!


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 30 Sept. 2006
in Scarification

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Artist: Self+Done
Studio: My+Bedroom%2FBathroom
Location: +

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