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I scarred myself with a rusty nail

Good, now that I've got your attention, I can begin my beautiful experience with scarification.

I was twelve when I started liking body modification, and I knew I had to get something done. Now, my mother is very conservative, and said no to any mods at all and told me to wait until my fourteenth birthday, probably because she was hoping I would forget by then. Sadly for her though, I didn't forget, I thought about it more and more until about a month before my fourteenth. So, for my fourteenth birthday, I got my nose pierced.

What I didn't realize about body modification is that, once you get one mod, you become addicted, or at least that's how it is for me. So, not even a week later, I was thinking about something else. The bad part was that I had promised my mom that I wouldn't get anymore body mods until I was eighteen. But, I wasn't about to let that stop me.

So, two weeks later, I made up my mind. I wanted to get a scarification. I don't know how the idea jumped from a simple piercing, to scarring, but it did. I told a few of my friends about it, and most of them said go for it.

So, then all I needed was a design. After much thought my friend recommended BME. I never heard about BME before this, sadly, but I quickly fell in love with the site. My friend told me to look around on the site and I might find a design I liked.

About a week after much searching, I made up my mind. I wanted a heart scarred onto the calf of my right leg. Now, I'm not going to lie, I hate it when other people do stuff to me, especially when it includes cutting your skin. So, with all that, I decided to do it myself. Now all I needed was a day when my mother and sister were both out of the house.

That day came soon enough, because a week later my mother told me I could stay home for the day if I wanted. I don't know why she lets me do this, but sometimes she randomly lets me stay home.

So, about ten minutes after both my mom and sister left, I was preparing everything I would need. A blade that I got from a razor (not the best thing to use I know), paper towels (for the blood and everything, and rubbing alcohol (to disinfect the blade). So, once I was finished disinfecting the blade, I washed my hands, and carried everything, wrapped in a paper towel, into the living room.

I popped my evanescence CD into the cd player, and began to draw the design on my leg with a pen. After about, ten tries and continuous scrubbings with the alcohol, I finally drew the heart design perfectly on my leg. So I washed my hands one more time, sat down and began to work.

Then I chickened out. For the first time, I started worrying about the pain. The pain never crossed my mind before, until now. So after a few deep breaths and an Advil later, I washed my hands yet again and sat down, ready to work. I waited another few minutes, just to let myself calm down.

Then I grabbed the little blade, and began. I started lightly at first, just enough to make little red lines, so I could see how it would look. I liked the look so far so I began to go deeper. I cut away, wiping the blood as I went. I sat there, for about twenty minutes, cross legged, on the floor, looking at my right calf. I saw that I wasn't going very deep and knew that it wouldn't be very effective.

I stopped then and took a ten minute break, just to breathe and let myself stop shaking. I called my friend on her cell and spoke to her, asking her if I should continue. She said it wouldn't bother her, and I shouldn't ask her questions about what I should do with my body, so I decided to continue. I re-washed my hands for what most of been the seventh time, and got back to work.

This time though, I made sure it went deep. I won't lie, and say it didn't hurt, but it wasn't really pain, it was more like a dull ache, if that makes sense. Something sort of told me to keep going, and not to stop, because then it would just hurt more. So I didn't stop, and I continued, going deeply, continuously cutting my leg. And trust me, when you go deep enough, it will bleed a little more than you'd expect. But I wiped away the blood, and continued on.

After doing this for about twenty minutes I decided that that was good enough, so I wrapped a little bit of gauze around my calf and took another Advil. I cleaned up the bloody paper towels and blade, and slept for a few hours.

It's been about three weeks now, and it's scarring beautifully. The par that hurts the most is irritating the scab. You know, every two days, taking an old toothbrush and scrubbing the scab really hard and really fast until it bleeds a lot. Then you have to pour white vinegar on it. The vinegar probably hurts the most, but in the end, it's worth it. I'm very proud of my scarred leg, and my friends say it's beautiful too. I recommend that anyone who wants to do it bad enough, do it. But make sure everything is clean and safe, and don't scar anywhere if your not one hundred percent sure.

Happy scarring everyone!!


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 19 May 2005
in Scarification

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Artist: me
Studio: my+living+room
Location: my+house

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