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my little chunk of branded moonshine.

I guess you could say that I always had a fascination when it came to masochism, not the sexual masochism, more so the I-like-to-hurt way. Knowing this in a re modified shed on a cool summer evening with my best friend I decided to tell her about all it.

You see I used to always have an obsession with stars. I'd draw them pretty violently on anything; paper, body, my shoes on a slow day at work,air, with-- anything at that; pens, pencils, macaroni,ice plants--it was an addiction. I would try to take notes in science class, but then my hand would jump from its restraints and pick up that pencil or french fry and go baby. Before I knew it that paper was filled with inky stars or, potato, depending on what I would use.That is when I first started thinking about decorating a whole lot of my body with stars.

Day and night, school, work, and play, I would carefully map out my body on paper or in my brain and think of places to put those pretty little moonshine chunks until I either got too excited or too bored. I longed for a tattoo. Being 17 and non-mischievous kind of singled me out though.

I had friends at 14 getting tattoos, most I  thought were rarely well thought-out, kind of on the spot: "I have a tattoo needle, what do you want." type of tattoo. I knew I had "connections", but I didn't really trust them.

As my best friend Amber and i were sitting in my shed, also called a doll house, listening to aloha on vinyl and screaming at the scratchy speakers made of Styrofoam i started fidgeting with pipe wire, making it various shapes and commodities, kind of like pointing out clouds in the sky with another person. You will never both think of the same thing.I finally sculpted a little sea star, and, being the pyromaniac in me, lit it up with a lighter and made the star glow red.

"Whoa," I said aloud to amber, as i pressed the star into some paper towels and watched it burn through crisp and clean, "Amber, what if we branded ourselves?"

"What, like a friendship thing?"

"Yea! Why not! It couldn't be that bad, could it?"

"Could it?"

"....No....."

Know that Amber was a little weaker than I am, I knew I'd have to go first.My mind was doubling dispositions...

"What if it gets infected? What if it hurts? What if the smell of burning skin makes me faint?"

I guess my conscious couldn't care less what my brain was thinking, or did i guess my brain couldn't care less what my conscious was thinking..whatever it was, i decided to do it. But I made a bad bad  mistake..:

I didn't use water.

As I recap more than a year later, I wonder why I was so stupid. Hot hot metal to skin with nothing to soothe must not work so well, but I did it anyway.

I took off my shirt and I told Amber to hold the lighter and we made it glow red almost white. I took the hot star and pushed it into my ivory chest. And man did I scream..

Not only did it hurt.. It crackled. We both started screaming, me with my face in a pillow and Amber, well i didn't know because my face was in a pillow. We figured, well, that water would help as a soothing mechanism, so we poured it all over myself, getting me drenched. I felt fine up until we realized what the smell was....Burning flesh.

Now I know what it must feel like right after someone gets fried in an electric chair. Smelly!

We decided to go again, this time, on my wrist. with, Tons of ice.. Amber got ready, lighter in hand, and she was so scared that she ducked and singed her hair off! It was intense! I got the star red hot, and hit my left wrist. After about 5 seconds of sizzle, I looked at my wrist and there was a bright red star.

We also did ambers ankle, but she wimped out, so now if not nothing there is a very faint 1/4 star residing there.

I remember putting a band aid on both of my scars pronto, but that didn't help. they both got really grossly infected.I went to a party the next day and one thing we did was cram 14 people into a hot tub in our clothes and look at the stars till the water was lukewarm or the sun rose, and man how gross my body felt.      I feared the worse. I laugh now, because i remember thinking about gangrene and cancer, maybe lime disease or amputation..anything to scare my self.

But after a few weeks, the infection wore off, and there on my hand was a little friend ship reminder! I still love it, and its still visible now! As for my Chest...gross..Looks more like a birthmark....

I used to be very paranoid with my parents seeing it, so I would wear my simpsons watch Amber got from a cereal box mail in for me or some funky chunky bracelet.Now I guess I like to tell the tale.

I guess my advice on cautery and branding is don't use pipe wire unless you want a mean infection. Also use ice and water..

Now, I know what tattoos I want, and suprisingly, No stars are on the agenda! But I love this little star..my little chunk of branded moonshine.

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 05 Aug. 2004
in Scarification

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Location: California.

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