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The Brotherhood of the Sun

Originality. Something I'd craved since I turned 13. I MUST be original. I'm not sure why, maybe I was desperate to prove I wasn't a mindless drone like the rest of my junior high school. I knew I was different inside, and my thoughts were original. But besides wear funky clothing and dye my hair, how could I make my physical appearance different? I had heard about body modification before, I don't remember where, but I thought it was a little extreme.

Then, in school, I noticed my friend Mandy's ears. They looked amazing. She (although at the time I thought they were just a bunch of holes) has three cartilage and three lobe piercings in each ear, one of each gauged to a 0 g, a helix, and several randomly pierced holes. I talked to her for two periods straight, about piercings, scarification (which she had on her arm) and branding. I liked the idea of that. Branding.

She also told me about BMEzine.com, which I went to as soon as I got home. I learned VOLUMES. And decided right then to do a brand. But where?

On each of my hands (something I had only noticed recently) there was this small red dot, like a healing cut. But then I saw that it was on both hands, in the same exact spot, about an inch underneath the middle of my index and middle fingers. So I picked them.

 I looked at different symbols in my school library for weeks, until I found something simple and very meaningful. The symbol for the sun, a circle with a dot in the middle. The sun. Perfect.

I picked a metal pen and took out the ink tube thingie, the small circle was perfect for my first one. Then I would unscrew that part, and use the even bigger circle for the outside.

It took a lot of courage, but I heated the pen with a candle, and made my burn. It felt TERRIBLE. With all the caps. It hurt so bad I screamed. But....in a way...It felt WONDERFUL. With all the caps. What a glorious pain! I waited until my hands stopped shaking and made the other mark. I let these heal before I did the outer marks, then continuously cleaned them with peroxide and alcohol, and covered them when I saw at work, or when they were particularly raw. The healing process was long and it made me skeptical that htey would come out right, it took a loooonnnggg time but they have healed to a flat pinkish color. They look beautiful. Unfortunately, my friends and family think different.

My mother was astonished. She thought I was mentally disturbed and should go see a shrink. I yelled back at her. It's my body, and I happened to think they looked beautiful.  My dad is so oblivious he hasn't noticed until very recently. He thinks I really enjoy pain. My friends were worse. They gave me funny looks, disgusted looks, sympathetic looks, and the occasional look of utter horror. They were completely unsupportive and there were times I felt sooooo down I completely regretted doing them. My boyfriend was one of the latter, and thought I was a moron. Whenever somebody bumped into them or anything at school, and I complained he'd say "Well you shouldn't have BRANDED yourself!!!"

Since then I've gotten a lot of piercings, (three lobes,my wo cartilege piercings, including a industrial, my helix, my scrumper, my frenulum, they are all variously guaged.) scarifications, (my name in Runes of the back of my leg and a caligraphy X on the nape of my neck.) and another beautiful brand, on my left shoulder/collarbone; of a pentagram. (I was raised Wiccan).

I hope someday people will understand why I did what I did, but until then I am satisfied.

Wrena Salvaje


What my brands mean-

The Brotherhood of the Sun ( I mani d'i fratelli sole.)

The brand on each of the tops of my hands

mean something very special.

They are a circle with a dot in the center,

I made sure to be very careful.

My hands are my tools to reach the sky and

I need them very much.

They reach up to the sun and it sweeps my face,

healing with every touch.

It brightens my sadness and strips my hate

I need it to feel normal.

The heat of the metal soothes me,

and it only hurts for a moment.

A message appears in red-I use the heat to form it.

So I can feel.

Like normal.

So i mani are my hands

and il sole is the sun

fratelli are my brothers

The Brotherhood of the Sun.

(Relax me like my mother.)

They give me strength,

they give me pain,

they let me heal, and I can feel.

Like normal.

Details

submitted by: Anonymous
on: 17 Feb. 2002
in Scarification

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Artist: Myself
Studio: +
Location: Newburgh%2C+NY

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