self-scarification... a true form of beauty
Hey again... here I will add to my list of body mods. My most recent are my scars on my ankle, oh, are they beautiful... but I'll get to them later, first the story behind my brands. I had already had my fun with piercing; I had my eyebrow done, and twelve holes of various size and style in my ears. I wanted something new, something personal. So I decided on my first brand. My brothers' friend had a beautiful brand on his arm, and I could not get over it, it made a lasting impression on me, and one that lasted four years. I saw it when I was younger, and I thought it was so pretty, a pale red and white scar, branded into his flesh for the rest of his life. I also felt honored to see it, it seemed almost intimate, and I later found that all brands and cuttings are. So later when I ran out of things to pierce I thought back to his brand, and decided my arm could use one too. I sat down in my room and thought long and hard about what to brand into my arm. I finally came across an idea that seemed good at the time. My friend's initials, but merged into one so it looked more like a design, he had died and I missed him terribly. I took a paperclip and cut it and bent it until I thought it was in the proper shape. I then heated it with a pair of tweezers over a candle flame. When it got hot I places it on a piece of surgical tape and quickly taped it onto my arm, this way I didn't rip it off fast incase it hurt a lot. I wanted this brand, and I figured it if was taped on I wouldn't be bale to rip it off until the metal was cool and my skin was already branded. It worked. I peeled the cool tape and metal off of my arm, and there was a perfect brand of my skin. I scrubbed it off with soap and water, and scrubbed away the flesh that had blistered, and then poured rubbing alcohol on top of it. I went to bed and didn't cover it. I woke the next morning and washed it again, and then more or less left it alone. It healed and became a fine white design. Later that year I finally let my friend go, he had been dead for a few years and I was at peace with his death. So I decided to cover brand his initials, a way of letting him go for good. I didn't know what to do, I had no ideas in mind, all I knew was it was time to cover the first brand. I sat in my room and thought about it, and I decided to do a design with chain link. I heated it up and did a series of brands over the first one. They blistered and once again I scrubbed the dead skin off. I left it alone and when it was healed I had a set of indented brands in my flesh. As time went by my brands have faded to a near-flesh color, they are no longer stark white. I was then faced with another desire for more body modifications. But I was clueless as of what I could do, brands lost their appeal to me, they belonged in the past, and they faded much to quickly when home-done. I pondered and pondered and then I made my decision. I decided on an ink rubbing. I slathered my ankle in Anbesol, a numbing agent for canker soars and mouth pains. Then I took a razor bland and cut the design. It didn't hurt much, but it wasn't deep enough, so I put on more Anbesol, which stung for a second and then numbed my cuts, and cut deeper. I took the ink and rubbed it into the cuts, I didn't feel this at all, my ankle was numb, and let it dry and set. After a few showers however, the ink had fading considerably, and in one of the cuts there was no ink at all. I decided it was stupid, so I scrubbed it until all the ink was gone and went over the design with a razor. I picked the scabs off and re-cut it regularly. Now I am happy with the cuts, and I am letting them scar, and now I am finished picking at them and re-cutting them. One of the cuts has scared and it is a pretty pink cut, the other two haven't finished scarring yet. I think my favorite body modification as of yet is my ankle cutting. All of my brands and cuts are beautiful and meaningful, but I love the one on my ankle best, it represents something to me, and whenever I look at it I smile. My piercings are all beautiful as well, but there is something intimate about cuts and brands. They are your own works of art, and they are sensual and personal in the fact that you are devoting yourself to a lifetime body alteration. I recommend cuts and brand to everyone, they are a lifetime commitment, and are something that you will cherish forever.
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 09 May 2001