"Save the world, lose the girl. "

Still Rockin' BME after all these years..

 

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"Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

 

If you have a support issue, please email Jen at [email protected]!

 

 
 

 

 

Diary

Rachel Larratt 1980 - 2022
6/30/2022 | 2 comments

It is with a broken heart that I must make this announcement. On June 24th, 2022, Rachel passed away in her sleep. What can I possibly say? Rachel was a force and a light in the world. She had a passion and a love for the body modification community. She did so much for so many and without looking for any praise. In addition to our BME community, Rachel was well known in the car racing community and had just returned from the Gold Rush Rally, where, I’m told, she had the time of her life. 

Right now, we are broken. We are deeply grieving this magnificent person whose life was cut far too short. Please keep her fiancee Marks and her daughter Ari in your thoughts and please respect theirs (and my) privacy at this time, while we try to come to terms with the unimaginable. Rachel leaves behind countless friends and loved ones who mourn her.

We’ll miss you, Rachel. Your memory will remain a blessing for all who knew and loved you.

- Jen 

Wow
1/20/2020 | 10 comments

I'm not going to pretend I haven't been absent. I have been. I've spent more than two decades in this little corner of the internet, and it's often more painful than I care to admit. It is very hard for me to log in to BME/IAM. I see my entire life wrapped up with a neat electronic bow. I had mentioned the other day that I'll be turning 40 in a few months. More than half of my life has been spent wandering around this community that we've built together. I love that I can come and go and it is still here. 

I wasn't expecting to log in to IAM tonight. I definitely wasn't expecting to see a post on my IAM page from 2019 that I have no recollection of writing. I certainly would not have guessed that I'd read 9 comments that mean more to me than I will ever be able to explain. Thank you to everyone who took the time to leave a comment. It was a very pleasant surprise.

I wish I could say that I have amazing things in the works and that I'm going to fix everything but the truth is, I'm struggling to keep it together. I took a "break" from all things BME back in 2013. I tell myself it was my choice but I didn't have the coping mechanisms that I needed to be able to handle everything that happened that year. As time goes by, I'm not sure that I can say I've suddenly developed them at least now I'm working on it. That is a lot more than I could have said in 2013. I would have nodded and smiled and said everything was going to be fine but I certainly wasn't going to put in any effort when I could just crawl back into my sad little hole and hide away from the world. That is the one thing I've been doing pretty successfully. 

Thank you for still being here when I felt like I could come back. 

I want to leave some updates here in order to give myself some kind of accountability but that is more pressure than I can handle. Just know that I'm working as hard as I can to try and bring back what we once had. I miss this place more than you know and I hope I'm not the only one. 

 

<3

 

No Title
1/12/2019 | 9 comments

I know I haven't posted in forever. Those of you who follow me elsewhere on social media know that I am not very active online to begin with. I'm trying to change that. I'm sure most people are making new years resolutions that say "spend less time online or on social media" but I need to do the opposite of that. 

I made this super long post and then deleted the majority of the content because I don't feel like anyone wants to hear what I need to say. Ugh.  

Starting over.
9/12/2015 | 4 comments

I wrote this long post and somehow managed to break my account when I posted it. That was nice. I'm too tired to rewrite it but like that post failure, I'm working on fixing a lot of things. I'm doing my best, which for the past two years hasn't felt like anywhere near enough.

Losing my mind
3/23/2013 | 16 comments

I apologize in advance because this post is a mess but I have limited time and even less mental capacity for just about any kind of train of thought right now.

 

I honestly don't know what to say. I've been dealing with things I never thought I would. I never thought he would leave us alone like this. Never. I look at Ari and I see his face. I have over 500k emails from him and the last ones are so painful to read in hindsight. We had so many things we were working on and the past few years felt like when we first split up and were able work together, to co-parent and talk like old friends. I missed his visits when he'd come to my house and stay and it was just the three of us. We had both grown so much after letting ourselves get bogged down by drama instigated by others.

I don't know what to do without him pushing me to keep moving forward.Ari has been living solely with me for the last 2+ years and we've managed on our own for a long time but it was always nice knowing he was there. Everything I've done to keep BME going has been to continue the work that he started, that we did together for almost a decade and that I've been doing for the past few years on my own. The only difference between now and when we were working together was the lack of any kind of competition online. Now there is Facebook (the walmart of the internet) tumblr, twitter, other body mod sites and thousands of websites vying for your attention that are well funded and staffed. BME is still just a couple of us trying to make a difference in this world. Please help us to continue Shannon's legacy. Submit photos, videos and stories. Buy a membership. Shop at BMEshop. All of these things help to keep BME going as well as help to take care of Ari.

I'm sorry I haven't been able to answer messages. I've been offline since coming up to Canada and doing my best not to come home with huge roaming phone bill.  I've been asked about where people can donate but I want to stress that you do not need to auction off paintings or jewelry or anything of Shannon's in order to donate to Ari. I appreciate it more than you will ever know but you should keep these things if you can.  I've been taking care of Ari myself for a long time and I will continue to keep her in a stable and healthy, happy home.

Donations can be made to Ari via Paypal to [email protected] Please don't make a button/link from BME as the traffic will get the account seized/locked/etc which has always happened in the past. 

After the next hour or so I'll be pretty much offline so please send Jen a message if you need any information. Thank you all for your support and condolences.

 

 

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