Diary

Secret Agenda/ San Franpsycho
5/18/2019 | 0 comments

 

What have I been up to since Georgia?

Spent last Thursday with Scott. We got food and saw "Her Smell," which was quite the interesting movie. Great performances, frantic score and sound design, lots of camera movement and tight shots. Refreshing to see something a little different.

Sunday I was planning to drive up to see mom for Mother's Day, but I ended up staying in town and seeing Eels with my sister. Everett is an all-time favorite of both of ours, and it was our second time seeing him live together, the first being about ten years ago. We'd had balcony seats, but the venue only sold about half capacity (E joked he'd have to talk to his booking agent about putting them on during Mother'd Day and penultimate Game of Thrones night), and we ended up getting center seats just a few rows back.

Opener Robert Ellis is a tremendous piano player, and that's about all I have to say about him.

Eels were really good. It was a very basic rock band version of the live group, and they played the songs fairly straight-forward (nice creepy version of "Novocaine for the Soul"; "I Like Birds" as a fast punk song). But they brought fun, despite the small crowd (which was also surprisingly old in my eyes - like nearing my mom's age). OVerall I was glad to have gone.

Otherwise things are...still causing me mental anguish, haha. Therapy's making things emotionally easier, but right now I'm in doubting PMDD hell. Met with someone involved with the upcoming surgery group, who assuaged my fears a bit. Apparently it's a small group, and the point of it is to get a letter so that insurance will cover the procedure. Then I have to talk to insurance. And find a surgeon. And book a consult. And have that consult. And sit on a table, and put a mask on, and gods why not just kill me now?

I also booked another appointment with the doctor to move forward on the medical side. Because my heart and gut and intuition keep doing these things, despite whatever defeatist and nihilistic things my brain in screaming.

Still, like...my brain is screaming.

And I'm visiting mom this weekend, since I didn't do it last. Driving up tomorrow. Bringing both dogs. Hope it goes ok.

 

You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.

- Mark Twain

Weekend Vibes/ Tiki Totem
5/11/2019 | 0 comments

 

Coachella 2019, Day 2

Saturday, April 20

 

Happy 4/20

Despite the previous day being Bicycle Day, this was the acid day for me. I've come to think LSD isn't very good for me. I need to figure out how to fix our relationship.

Anyway...

Got into the grounds as soon as I could. In fact, I sat near the gates and waited for them to open.

Last year had taught me that people leave lots of bottles in planter boxes, which are often not cleared out at the end of the night, so I spent the first hour collecting probably 75 or so bottles out of the planters, getting most of my recycling points for the weekend in about an hour.

First band of the day I saw was CHON. I wasn't expecting to enjoy them as much as I did. They're instrumental, but I thought they were quite good. Went from there over to the Sonora to catch some of The Red Pears, whom I also enjoyed. Sonora didn't have as many couches this year as last, so I never was able to snag one early in the day. I hope they fix that for next year.

I'd already taken acid at this point, in paper form. One of my most-anticipated bands for the year, Jambinai, was playing early, and I wanted to get things going. Jambinai was pretty good, but you could tell they were still finding their footing as a live band. From South Korea, they combine guitars and traditional instruments into a post rock, industrial hybrid sound. I really enjoyed the live experience, seeing exactly what each instrument was contributing. They really appreciated their weekend 2 crowd, apparently larger than the first. The lead guitarist spoke good English and communicated lots of thanks to the audience. It's one of those experiences that only Coachella can deliver, and I really hope the band goes on to great things in the future. I can hear the potential there.

At this point, the acid wasn't doing what I wanted it to, and I was getting anxious. I had nothing to do, half a tab left (and some MDMA), and was worried I was going to regret not having more LSD available to me. So I did what I have never done before and went back to my campsite. I had time, wanted more acid, figured I could eat something and get a beer without paying $13. And my shirt was too tight and it was windy, so my dysphoria was going nuts and making me feel like I had to change. So back I went.

Got back to camp after the twenty-minute trek there. Changed my shirt first thing, putting on something baggier. Ate the rest of my sandwich, slammed a beer. Then, more acid time. Went to drop a drop from the pipette under my tongue, but accidentally dropped two. Oops...shit. Oh well, guess I was going to be tripping acid that day. It was strong enough that I could taste it, feel it in my system. Shit.

Grabbed another beer and headed back out.

I thought I was in a rush to see Mac DeMarco, but The Interrupters were playing when I got to the stage he was supposed to be playing at. Christine & The Queens had had to cancel, and the schedule had been adjusted, but I hadn't gotten the memo. Didn't want to see The Interrupters (again...I'd seen them a couple years before, in the first year the Sonora existed, but I wasn't in the mood for ska punk), so I went up to the Do Lab and watched the beginning of Justin Jay instead. He'd been one of my must-watches once Do Lab had been announced, and I enjoyed him, but he wasn't exactly playing what I was expecting. Still enjoyed him.

Left after about half an hour to get to DeMarco, and I was more than tripping at this point. "This is the place to do this," I kept reminding myself. "If you're going to do too much, may as well do it at Coachella."

I have had many, many opportunities to see DeMarco in the past (he played FYF every year for something like 5 years, as well as Coachella several times), but had shamefully never done it, so he was a priority for me this year. Damn, I'm stupid for having never seen him, because he is fantastic live. Super great musician surrounded by super great musicians, amazing vibes, just super happy to be jamming, really good songs that I know and enjoy. He really eased me out of having a bad time and getting into a much better groove than I had been in.

Unfortunately, due to the delayed start time, a super-aggressive rap/EDM hybrid started on the Main Stage about halfway into his set, and the wind was carrying that over and blowing DeMarco's sound off to the east, so that was the only bummer about that set.

Went from DeMarco the The Garden in the Sonora, and whatever the fuck that band is combined with the amount of LSD that was circulating from me combined into one of the weirder experiences I've ever had on the fields (comparable to last year seeing John Maus while coming up). The Garden is fucking nutso outside of drugs. I focused on the drummer, who was absolutely incredible. Super fast and furious, but absolutely on beat. He was amazing. That show was crazy.

Went from The Garden back over to the Outdoor for Bob Moses. I fucking LOVE Bob Moses on record, but have so far really not enjoyed them live. They should be an electronic act, but instead insist on being a shitty live band. I don't get it at all. I watched them perform "Talk," and then left. Had more important places to be.

In fact, the most important. "Which tent's Four Tet," some Brit asked me as I charged for the Mojave. He knew what was up. "Second one," I replied, pointing up the corridor. He tried to high-vie me. I hesitated, then reached out just in time to send him crashing into a group headed in the other direction. Coachella magic!

I serious cannot with this Four Tet show. It was his live show, and he did live mixing in a darkened tent with only two desk lamps at his console providing light. It was an incredible journey of sound, clip-clopping beats, mixed up voices, Four Tet amazingness. This was the show of the weekend for me (and Gambino). Hebden can play every Coachella as far as I'm concerned, DJ one year, live mix the next. He was incredible, the show was incredible, the energy in the tent was incredible.

From there, off to Weezer! I was also super excited to see Weezer, having only seen them once before at Coachella in 2005, but they've been a band I've followed for 25 years now, and my Gods they delivered. Holy shit, guitar rock! Cuomo's amazing. They put on such an incredibly fun show, of course covering "Africa," but also "Take on Me". I was happy that the crowd knew all the songs, and it was fun watching the Sahara -> Outdoor kid migrating singing along with songs like "Beverly Hills" and "Island in the Sun". I'm glad that even the kids know their songs. Weezer was sooooo gooooood! Can't state enough how much fun I had.

I'd contemplated leaving Weezer early for Aphex Twin, but am really glad I didn't. I have never really liked most of Aphex Twin's output, but his rareity as a live act and the weekend one hype had me super-anticipating his set. So after Weezer, I made a beeline for him.

I mean...I'm glad to have seen Aphex Twin, but he really killed the night for me. He went over his time, and at the end I was begging for him to stop. I just wanted him to end so I could walk away, and indeed I got to the point where I did just walk away. Glad to have seen him, should probably have stayed for less. I honestly left his set early, angry that he was still making noise.

And from then, my night was fucked. I'm not a huge Tame Impala fan, honestly, and I'd already seen them at Coachella three times and was going to be seeing them in two weeks, and really wanted to save my enthusiasm for then.  But there was nothing else on! I walked over to the Do Lab, where nothing was set to be on until an unknown special guest at midnight (it was now not even 11PM). The Yuma had a line that I didn't want to deal with. I walked by Wiz Khalifa, who did nothing for me (and had an enormous Sahara crowd that I didn't want to deal with). My options were Tame, some random Yuma dude I had to stand in line for, or a rap act I wasn't interested in...in half an hour.

I hemmed and hawed, walked in circles, went by the merch booth (which had an enormous line), looked into the boutique, and then went back to camp, figuring I'd at least not have to wait in line for a shower.

Called it an early night, grabbed a shower, got to bed early, and then proceeded to be absolutely unable to get a wink of sleep because the LSD was raging through my system still, and I HAD NO GODDAMN BENADRYL!!!  I spent HOURS curing the security guard that had taken my Benadryl away, wishing to God I'd stashed some away, praying that I could just FEEL TIRED. I also couldn't breathe due to the dust, and assumed that if I'd had that Benadryl it would've helped with that as well. But more importantly, I WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP! It was probably the worst night I've had at Coachella, tossing and turning but SOOOOOOOO AWAKE. And I just wanted to sleep extra hard because I had to be up early for Sunday Service. I curse that security prick to this day, and to all days forthwith.

And it turns out that the unnamed special guest at Do Lab that night was Four Tet. FML.

 

The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.

- E. Joseph Cossman

Tropicalia/ Ezekiel's Wheel
5/7/2019 | 0 comments

 

Back from Georgia. Had a great time. Sad it's over.

Flight out was fine. It only takes about four hours. I powered through much of the Ulysses S. Grant biography I've been reading.

It was hot in Atlanta when I arrived around 7:00 PM. Deez got me from the airport and drove me down to her place in Peachtree city. Saw the man and the boy (and the dog, who initially growled at me and my short hair until she recognized my scent and then flipped out, because she adores me), and we hung out on her amazing balcony and had pizza and split a sixpack of local Atlanta brews (Tropicalia is so good). Her place is upstairs at the end of a complex, right up against the forest. The trees come almost right up to the balcony. Very pretty and peaceful.

Slept on an air mattress on their floor, which was surprisingly comfortable.

Friday was our early day because I wanted to get to the fest and see Sharon Van Etten at 4:30. Deez made us blueberry pancakes and coffee. The fest was in Atlanta, so we drove up and parked in the lot behind the theater Brian works in and took a Lyft to the grounds. Stayed nearly til the end, got a Lyft back, and then I did the driving to get back to Peachtree that night. Driving in the city itself on a Friday night wasn't much fun, but once out of the city, there was hardly any traffic and the drive was quite pleasant.

Saturday we slept in and had a lazy morning. She drove me around Peachtree and showed me a couple of her favorite lakes. We stopped at one and sat in chairs at lakeside. The weather was quite perfect, not too hot or humid, fluffy white cloud puffs in the sky. She lives in a beautiful and peaceful place ("the bubble", as she calls it).

Storms had been predicted all weekend, and one finally came Saturday night. The festival had sped the schedule up and shortened set times in order to get the crowd out earlier. We went to a bar nearby where one of her friends was playing bass in a Phish cover band. I don't know Phish, but they sounded pretty good.

For reasons that I believe were related to dysphoria (Southern hospitality had people calling me "ma'am" all weekend) and overstimulation from the loud, crowded bar when the band took a break, I had a bit of a meltdown and couldn't bring myself to stop crying. It was bad. I hate that I can't control this sort of things. It is, indeed, one of the things I hate the most about myself.

She gave me half a Xanax and we went back to the bubble balcony. I wanted to stay up late and hang with them, but the Xanax really knocked me out, and I had to get to bed an hour or so after taking it. But it did indeed wipe my anxieties away.

Sunday was again a lazy day. A little too lazy for me, and I was getting bored and restless before we headed out. We stopped at a diner for a meal before heading over to the fest. It ended at 10:00 that night. My mushrooms were ending, since I'd had them with food when we got there, but Deez's were just kicking in, as she'd had hers in capsules. So I did the driving. We went around the central park area (or whatever it's called) and drove by the lit-up ferris wheel before heading back to Peachtree.

I wanted to get in as much hang time as possible, and we stayed up cuddling on the balcony bench (MDMA) and sipping wine. They'd ordered some great art pieces from an old friend, and Brian took them out of their shipping packing for the unveiling. They really looked fantastic, and I think her place is going to look great once they're up on the wall.

I still didn't manage to stay up the whole time. Got to bed around 3:30 or 4.

Woke up at 9:30 the next morning to leave for my flight. She was too dizzy to drive, so Brian took me. We stopped at Kroger first so I could pick up some local beer to take home in my checked bag. As we were leaving, I checked my email and saw my flight was delayed by an hour, so we went back to the apartment, Didn't see Deez again, but I'd already given her a tearful hug good-bye. I'd realized I didn't have my credit card, so I took a chance to look for it in my luggage and pack the beer. Never did find it, and indeed cancelled it once I'd gotten to the airport.

Got to the airport to find my flight delayed further, but I'd already been dropped off and gone through security, so oh well. Sat in the terminal for a couple of hours.

Had to take a taxi once I'd gotten back to LA. Being back in LA made me angry and misanthropic. Made it home in time to get a wonderful doggie greeting before packing up for work and heading out again.

So I went from three nights at work to four on an air mattress in Georgia, and then back to work for three more nights. Night one (last night), I had someone pickup their dog at 3:45 in the goddamn morning!

Came straight home after work this morning because my mom was here. She'd also gone on a trip this weekend, visiting her friend Mary in Tucson. So I got to catch up with mom earlier today. We drove down to the greenbelt and walked the dogs for an hour, then went to Veggie Grill for lunch before she headed back up the coast. I stopped for groceries before coming home, finishing the laundry, briefly resting, and now writing up this.

All in all, it was a really good trip, and I very much miss my friend already. There was a lot more to tell that will come out once I write up the fest itself, but it was the sort of trip that my soul needed at this point in time, positive and affirming. I'm so very glad that I have that lady in my life.

 

One true friend adds more to our happiness than a thousand enemies add to our unhappiness.

- Marie Dubsky

Grapefruit Slam IPA/ Tijuana Mexican Lager
4/30/2019 | 0 comments

 

Alright, gotta catch up.

Got tattooed on Thursday. We finished up the first panel of the Coachella piece on my leg. It is oh so brightly colored. Also got the NIN filled in. I was thinking a little bit bluer, but he put in the most teal of all teal colors. I can always go darker later if I feel a need to.

Had a few hours to kill after the appointment, so I went over to Amoeba to search for decent used CDs. I've spent hundreds of dollars on music since Coachella was announced, and still have more I want. Mostly I buy from Bandcamp so I can more directly support the artists, but those on major labels aren't on Bandcamp, so I really don't know what to do. The last thing I want is to support Amazon. Buying used is a good idea, but it doesn't support the artists, and Amoeba's used section lacks the new stuff I want (and their new stuff is prohibitively expensive). I'd buy directly from artists and labels if they offered digital downloads.

But it was pretty easy to kill a couple hours there, which I needed to do because I was going to be meeting up with Scott after his work. Which we did.

The reason for the meet-up was because we went to see Bikini Kill on Thursday night at the Palladium. It was their first full show all reunited since 1997! And it was a lot of fun. I'm not a huge fan of BK specifically, but I am a supporting fan of anything Kathleen Hannah does, and really had never thought I'd had the chance to see BK live. But they were great, and the four of them would switch up on instruments (something from their early days that they did to inspire their mostly-female audience) and singing duties.

Scott pointed out that it was a much shorter audience than NIN's fanbase (that was the other show we'd seen at the venue together), and I pointed out that it was largely do to the female makeup of the crowd. It was also the queerest audience I've ever been in, and I spent time trying to clock transfolk. There was an older man who stood next to me for some of the show, and I think I clocked him, but it was because he was pretty much my same size and had a very similar build. I'm not 100%, but him having my shape gave me some hope regardless.

Anyway, the show was a lot of fun and they got though 30 or so of their quick punk songs, and played two encores. The response was overwhelmingly positive, and it gives me hope for seeing more Hannah projects in the future.

(Last night I had a dream that I was at Desert Daze, and NIN was headlining. It was me and about three other people when the show started, and they played "Wish." Then Trent said they were bringing out special guests Le Tigre, and a white chick, a Latina, and a black chick came out and danced on the stage while NIN played. I went to tell Scott, who was up on a terrace level above the festival, working at some booth. After I'd told him, I went back down to see Le Tigre leaving the stage. The NIN crew [there were 10-15 people on stage] were now wearing gang banger outfits, and Trent started to cover a Tupac song on acoustic guitar. The audience [which had grown considerably] then began to throw trash at him/them. I thought it was an amazing once-in-a-lifetime festival performance to be witnessing.)

Friday and Saturday were normal days.

Sunday after work, I again met Scott in about the same part of Hollywood. We went to a pizza place before seeing "The Man Who Killed Don Quixote", the movie Terry Gilliam's been trying to make for twenty years or more. It was being shown in an odd little hobby theater in a building we had to be buzzed into. Like it just a tiny screen in an office building that someone had set up for fun or something. Very odd. Comfortable seats, though.

The movie itself wasn't as bad as I was anticipating, and its two and a half hour length wasn't painful. But it was quite incoherent, and it was hard to tell what was happening. I've never read Don Quixote, so am unsure if it's reflective of the book in that way. Johnathan Price is great in his role, though. He really gives the performance his all, and it elevates the film for sure.

Otherwise I'm just packing up and getting ready for Atlanta. It's going to be a quick trip, but I'm anticipating good times with Deez and at Shaky Knees. I actually ended up kinda wishing I'd gone to both weekends of Coachella, but having this festival two weeks after was a big reason I didn't. I'm excited for my second week of festivaling, though. April felt a little emptier without it.

Then I'll have that festival to write up, too. Oy!

 

To fear is one thing.  To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another. 

- Katherine Paterson

Short-Lived/ Hydration Station
4/23/2019 | 0 comments

 

Coachella 2019, Day 1

April 19, 2019

 

Woke up at the usual 5:30 and took the dogs for a walk before doing the last bit of packing and heading out around 6:30.

Took the 91 out and stopped at Rudi's on the way to buy back the shrooms he'd bought through me. I'd found mine to be impotent when I used them for my birthday, so I wanted working ones for Coachella and Shaky Knees and this was the easiest was to acquire them (and he was looking to get rid). Since it was so early, he'd left them under a potted plant by his house, and there was s huge spider on the bag that I had to fight off first. But I was able to grab them, leave the money, and get back on the road in fast time.

Got in line for camping around 9:00. The one I got in was noticeably slow, the lines next to me quickly outpacing. Ugh.

Immediately got gendered as female and got my girl pat-down. The truck passed the first inspection, but then I was that there were staff supervisors, which is why my line was taking so long. The first pass apparently wasn't good enough, because they then ransacked my truck. Went through every compartment, opened up my luggage and sorted through. I was getting a little worried, but the guy only came out with my scale, which I snatched back (told him I weighed my food [I only brought it because I had to weigh the shrooms I'd just picked up, otherwise I never would've packed]). He told me I couldn't just grab stuff out of people's hands and that I'd've been in trouble in he was a cop, but I knew he wasn't a cop and couldn't do anything). He also had my bottle of ibuprofin and Benadryl and a couple Tramadol all mixed together, which I hadn't hidden particularly well in my suitcase. I told him what it was, he told me it couldn't be all mixed together and he had to check with someone. I waited for him to come back, and was then told that he had come back and couldn't find me (WTF? I hadn't moved from next to the truck), so I was out of luck. I asked if they sold Benadryl inside and was told yes, and the general stores. Spoiler alert: they only had Claritin. And I ended up desperately needing that Benadryl Saturday night. At least they didn't find my good drugs, but I cannot emphasize enough my later desperation for that goddamn Benadryl.

Got to my campsite soon after. I was in the very last row of Lot 10, super close to the exit and the potties, which was nice. Very close to where I was weekend one last year, but even farther back, with nothing but a view of the mountains (and a security guard at the gate) in front of me. Looooong walk to the showers, though.

Watched the neighbors set up their camps and felt awkward. I'd been planning to boy mode, but had already been spotted as female, so I wasn't sure what to do.

And although it was Bicycle Day, my plan had been for LSD on Saturday. So instead I went with mushrooms for Friday, weighing out 2.5 grams (Rudi had claimed they were quite potent). Glad I hadn't lost the scale, as this is something I didn't want to eyeball (and the thing had cost me $35, according to the price tag still on it).

Ate a sandwich, finished my coffee, got all packed up, and headed out.

They have iPads at the front gates for last-minute registerers, but they weren't working yet. My phone had no service, so I couldn't activate my band that way. Had to wait in a line for about half an hour. Won't be doing that again.

Gates were already open when I was ready to go in. Just a quick pass through a metal detector and I was on my way.

First thing I did was make a loop around, just to check everything out. Things had been rearranged a bit, for the better. Central Market, Heineken tent, and Antarctic were all pushed to the perimeter fence (Antarctic a bit off) going up from Outdoor, and Sonora, Gobi and Mojave tents were all in a line down the old boundary line, which is just sooo perfect. I hope they keep it this way forever and ever.

Saw a slight amount of Loboman in the Sahara before ducking into the Yuma to check out the redesign and see some of Blond:ish and Ross From Friends. Word was RFF had a saxophonist, but that wasn't happening weekend 2, at least not that I saw. It sounded good enough without.

First band I was excited for was Let's Eat Grandma in the Gobi. They had good energy and had an enjoyable noise rock thing going for them. The crowd seemed into it, early though it was.

I had 15 minutes to spare and ended up wandering a bit. Might've turned in my first bag of recycling. Went by the main stage as Los Tucanes de Tijuana were playing their big song, and it was fun to see the crowd going dance crazy in the hot sun. They sounded good and are good musicians and all, but it's not a type of music I really enjoy.

From there, I went into the wonderful AC of the Sonora to see Las Robertas. The tent was even larger this year, with a bar in the back and fewer couches to sit on. I thought the band was quite good.

The band who played after, Turnstile, was recommended by a co-worker, but I can't tell you what I did between the two. Sometimes I find it hard to believe how bad my memory is. But Turnstile had a good sound, punkish with riffs.

After that, I went to the Beer Barn and drank a Mumford pilsner while looking over the Do-Lab and listening to LSDream. He was good, and I went to join the crowd for a bit after I'd finished my drink.

Went from there to the Outdoor perimeter fence beer garden (yes, the Outdoor now has a beer garden!) to grab pizza (but not beer since they just had Heineken) and watch JPEGMAFIA. There were little benches along the beer garden fence, so I sat on one with my back to the interior and dumped most of the mushrooms on the pizza, saving some for later (and just in case they were really strong). They were super easy to eat, for once. Enjoyed JPEGMAFIA more live than on record.

From there back into the Sonora for about half of Kero Kero Bonito's set, and I also enjoyed them more than I thought I would. Then went next door to the Gobi to catch some of Calypso Rose. I don't like Calypso, but I heard it was a party and I knew I'd never see her again. It was pretty fun. I didn't hear her do much (she looks to be approaching 80), but the band and backup singers were giving it their all.

Headed over to the Yuma to use their gender-neutral portopotties. Amelie Lens was throwing down thumping techno, and I wouldn't take it for very long.

Killed time with Tierra Whack, who was fun. Big, colorful, loud rap.

Headed to the main stage for some Anderson .Paak. I enjoyed him more live than I do on record, and his backing band The Free Nationals are super good. I should've stayed for more, but one of my favorite research albums leading up to this weekend is by The Frights, so I wanted to see most of their set. They were not nearly as good as I'd been hoping. They do 50s-inspired (like doo-wop) punk rock, so you'd think they'd put on a fun show, but instead they just kept changing the tempo, doing jazzy interludes, and generally changing the nature of the songs. I was thoroughly disappointed, because they seem like they can be really good if they just DO THE SONGS. Anyway...

After them I headed to Polo & Pan, who were quite fun (and very French). I'll need to pick up music by them, as I enjoyed their effects-laden electro.

I don't know why I even walked by the main stage instead of going straight to Rufus, but I did walk by it and was drawn in by the band. It ended up being The 1975, who I was certain I disliked, but it turns out they're good musicians and the lead dude has a really great voice. Stayed for a few songs, and then they played that one song of theirs that I cannot stand, and I remembered why I didn't like them and headed away as quickly as I could.

Stopped by the Outdoor bathrooms, since that's where I needed to be. Felt wrong among all the women wearing glorified bathing suits. Due to what's going on in life, I began to focus on this wrongness and dissect it. I thought again about how the feeling manifests itself in my shoulders, which are always pitched forward since I am trying to hide my chest bumps. Other people I would look at would be walking with great posture, shoulders thrown back, head up, confident. I couldn't bring myself to do any of it, but it felt so correct that getting surgery would largely correct my physical discomfort. I thought about how I'd ask mom to teach me to walk properly once I could stand to have my chest out and not in.

Anyway, Rufus Du Sol was the band on the Outdoor. I hadn't seen them before, but I thought they were pretty good (and I was very much not expecting them to have two drummers, that was a fun surprise).

Left a little early to catch the end of Khruangbin, who were amazing. They did a guitar medley of hip hop songs which was insanely fun in the crowd. They melted my face with guitar amazingness and I love them so.

Went by Janelle Monae afterward and was totally sucked in by her performance. She was surrounded by great dancers and had me thinking all these thoughts of girl power and such. So many mental conflictings! I hadn't really enjoyed her album in research, but now I feel a need to buy it. She was really good.

Went from her to Charlotte Gainsbourg, whom I am glad to have seen. She has fun songs, even if she herself isn't much of an entertaining performer.

Should've gone straight to main, but instead I went by Sahara first for a few Nora En Pure songs because I enjoy her. She ended her show by playing piano, which was a cool and unexpected thing to see take place in the modern Sahara tent.

I should've gone straight to main because Childish Gambino ended up being really incredible. Holy cow is Donald Glover a fantastic performer. He also had one of the better backing bands I've seen. He talked about how he needed to embrace the night and give it his all and focus on having fun at his Coachella performance, how the week two crowd was much more enjoyable, and it all really showed in his performance. For sure it was one of the best of the weekend, and a top of any weekend, Wish I'd seen it from the beginning.

Hiked back to camp and then to the showers. There was only one trailer running that late, and I didn't get in until 2AM. Ate when I got back to the truck and finally got to sleep around 3:00.

 

Worry trades the joy of now for the unlikely catastrophes of later.

- Tim Fargo

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Pheonix "(babydoll)"
bubbadduck "(fuck)"
instigator "(penis)"
prettypinkkitty007 "(constitute)"
ParadoxBaby "(paradox)"
wyrd "(megszentségteleníthetetlenkeskedéseitekért)"
wela meohewa "(fabulous )"
karakins "(Luxurious)"
Sara_Timberlake "("cunt"...it's a very powerful word.)"
sam gideon "(wrought)"
Kaitlyn "(ineffable)"
bridge "( )"
Kyrenna "(wanderlust)"
SIN "(ubiquitous)"
iFeLLdown "(caramelldansen.)"
supercute "(ubiquitous & esoteric)"
kaz "(Hi!)"
BendtheGlass "(embolism)"
Stupid_Girl "(doi)"
choice "(paradigm)"
Curt "(awesome)"
.caitlin. "(Flaps)"
ShaggyDope "(the most versitile word in the english language, fuck.)"
Bexi "(fuck)"
LittleOne83 "(Restitution....it's a work thing!)"
AshleyBrass "( )"
samma "(Flutter.)"
shutup "(ohhhhh)"
-Matt- "(fuck!)"
merrry "(Stitch-my husband's nickname)"
jaymazing "(clavix)"
Pure-Fiction "(Hello friend!)"
Orgasmic Fantasy "(moist)"
rarr.ae "(chimerical! i just figured it out about a month ago. yours?)"
rayneofsorrow "(manuver)"
Whitespace "(Perspicuity.)"
wiccan3 "(That's what she said... -referring to dodgy things only though-)"
VEAL "(sphincter)"
sane "(sasafras)"
Diskonnektie "(ej thankuu. god, you've had a suspension, what's the feeling like)"
Katkutia "( )"
Shevek "(klem)"
IronChef "(twat just say it and it makes you smile)"
eva "(swell, counterintuitive, longing)"
yarddog "(one of these I HAVEN'T signed!)"
xaqari15 "(zowie)"
strawberry "(douche)"
ducttapedave "(i like frood.)"
Jeanna "(dang'it)"
aniorange "(rosebud)"
Calamity "(pantaloon)"
ashbat "(BEVERAGE)"
Scenester "(awesometastic)"
KatePrayer "(motherfucker)"
edcunard "(inchoate)"
Lizzard "(FUCK!!!)"
ambrosia "(hey thnaksfor saying hi i'm new to iam and am a little lost!!)"
Jake "(I don't have just one. I just learnt "coquelicot", though.)"
paulo4127 "(bollucks)"
chemically_lobotomized "(cockamamie - yay for House fans!!!)"
JuuL "(Berserk)"
EoniAbstract "(projection)"
Sad Squid "(i do say awesome a lot. seriously...a lot. )"
deadly pale "(atemberaubend - nicely hard and with a cool meaning)"
snoogans "(fwang)"
scamp "(onomatopoeia always makes me giggle)"
Ernest "(uncertainty)"
goomy "(honeybunny)"
Mr.me "(Finkelstein)"
vizante "(needle)"
freakz "(champingnon)"
lost girl "(smooshed.)"
bexrox "(rain)"
tlw "(I still pick animals over people. At least they care.)"
Mangaartist "(I have a lot, I LOVE English words, it isn't my 1st language.)"
PiercingBunny "(Shit!)"
HEDGEHOG51 "(GNARLY)"
sugarNspice "(sweet)"
level3stud "(undulating)"
allison_scout "(heebeejeebee's)"
TripleHelix "(Syzygy, because it's structurally perfect)"
firstluff "(scadink " move it a scadink to the left")"
Rumball "(philanphropist)"
ununseptium "(authenticity)"
Holly Bo "(Spork)"
an0nymous_vamp1re "(Ni)"
Della "(It's a toss-up between "maelstrom" and "dichotomy.")"
jazzybean "(proper - i'm cornish )"
bruxa "(I'm old Gregg!)"
hobo soup "(moist.)"
Satans_Angel "(schooch)"
manini "(love)"
amberlynne "( )"
helanus "(weasel!!)"
KIVAKA "(love)"
tyger burning bright "(why?)"
radical kiba "(snarly)"
jonathandoe "(hella)"
Zee "(Smock!)"
Nermal "(Shenanigans)"
The Hektik1 "(cheedle )"
MrNoModifications "(Feierabend)"
s_a_h_mommy "(flibbertigibbit)"
Golem37 "(Cooter)"
fetch "(gravy)"
postblue_ "( )"
fuck_life "(RAD)"
brokken "(what ever word fits?)"
Blood Roses "(ambiguous)"
Lofty "(Seriously. )"
hailshimmer "(New favourite is AHOY!)"
Daddy "(Sharks!)"
vivica "(GollyGeeWillakers!!)"
Mentabolism "(Fantastic)"
yurmomnaked "(fuck, shit, or cunt)"
JustJen "(Fastidious )"
brute "(your calvin and hobbes tattoo is the best thing i have ever seen!)"
xdollfacexpiex "(Cunt I know it's bad but I love it!)"
*Stitch* "(so many good ones...um i'm going to say taco)"
Myko "(fhqwhgads)"
Miss Gabrielle "(Bloody, Bah!, and Pissy.)"
phoenixxx "(smarmy)"
Raphael EN "(hiricow !)"
oddbod "(pain)"
GnomeChomsky "(triflin')"
angelicfruitcake "(Snout! Or crocodile...)"
HighLevel "(Goeiendag)"
Sugar "(Apoplectic)"
cadaver "(guillotine. my bf's current favourite is verisimilitude)"
autumn "(Moist)"
rusu "(Bubble. But I use the work 'wanker' an awful lot.)"
MizzGrell "("Crap")"
DragonHeart "(pie!)"
shadowsidetattoos "(cheers dude, like your tatts)"
steveinthesun "(DESKS)"
SamanthaM "(tits)"
vonfaust "(at the moment 'homonymn')"
Bot "(Bitchin')"
DrGreenThumb "(Hella)"
Mike Dimas "(fun)"
residue "(Swiss Army Knives ftw!)"
Killer Bee "(Dang- because i once heard a 19 month old say it )"
Blitzkid196 "(queue.)"
DreamsOfJade "(pervert. i dont know why. just is hhaahahahaha)"
dejennarate "(efficacy)"
atatattoo "( )"
Dawnie "( )"
nadineynuisance "(cunt)"
Hollywood "(triceratops)"
jessecake "( )"
Malvenkemo "(My favourite French words are pneu and pamplemousse. )"
namicoj "( )"
Stitch Faced Angel "(Strudle)"
pierced-boy "(love)"
Dreadlocksmile "(apocalyptic)"
doxgukka "(monkey)"
george_the_ballerina "(saucy)"
xJessiCUNTx "(cunt)"
Chronics "(cunt)"
Povallsky "(See, I was thinking of getting an adamantium helmet...)"
clubberdude1981 "(Merge)"
Fuzz "(Cuntwhapple)"
Cmhionn "(Skwerl)"
11 "(Murmel)"
The_Voodoo_Dolly "(abso-fucking-lutely)"
ColeMine "(discombobulated)"
Emily Post-Punk "(slyboots)"
Tovie "(quixotic)"
nekokichi "(cunt)"
:with love and squalor: "(conundrum)"
KnifeInTheMarathon "(suamaetrepanofiadaputa)"
BeccaMonster "(Wonky)"
ookumbubbleoo "( )"
Chadgrisly "(Obscure)"
majikan "(kutjes)"
the pierced russian "(fuck)"
Nero "(kluge)"
Amadahy "(aight)"
evilpixie "(discombobulate because it has Disco and Bob)"
ShesSoVaVaVoom "(kumquat)"
Mythology "(outlandish)"
ColdSweat "(Cockbadger)"
fluffyreptile "(cooder)"
dboard9 "(Nipples.)"
brian.johnson "(prehensile)"
Morgue "(Turmoil)"
Jemma.m "(flannel!)"
())crayon))> "(sleep)"
Somech1ck "(fuck)"
DIY'er "(Arrrrrr!)"
livid "(llama)"
AnotherBleedingHeart "(therefore)"
EziliGede "(fuck-nut)"
Kid Presentable "(crapshoot)"
Crowned Dragon "(pernicious)"
nufger "(success)"
jody "(murder)"
blackwinghalo "(spanakopita)"
Funky "(funkadelic)"
FauxPas "(Indubitably)"
Chevo "(FUCK)"
Knulp "(quark)"
chickadee2084 "( )"
Caroline June "(Litotes)"
Auryn "( )"
Celticgent "(YES.)"
soulmom "(shenanigans & bombardment)"
second place "(snow)"
Snow White "(crumbs, cunt and jinkies)"
TattoedMat "( )"
XkuruX "(irrelevant)"
asphixiation "(Coitus. Why isn't it used more now? Thanks for signing!)"
SVEN "(thats money)"
shpluck "(portal)"
verve729 "(Soliloquy)"
kermee "(stuff)"
Jinxed "(No)"
Alledria "(currently it's "effusive")"
fieryn "(epitome)"
Jareb "(cunt.... sorry, but i love it!!!!!)"
Hail "(boobies)"
MartiniBuiltForTwo "(fuck- or trepidation )"
asparagus "(banana)"
DrLouLou "(Hello hello!)"
Leroy "(Smeg)"
blackandblue "( )"
ConchyMcBleed "(brrrmmmm)"
MsNightingale "( )"
dazedeagle "(shit. I say it all the time, I have a shit problem.)"
Elfling "(thank you for the birthday wishes!!! )"
Melissa "(shitass)"
little_miss_pirate "(bangle)"
christina bo bina "(bologna!)"
perpetual "(chicken eye and seductive)"
luckyshamrock "(whiplash and i like guttersnipe too)"
no_pants "(Blech!)"
JennaG "(ooze)"
Stardust "(achtung- a German word that sounds like projectile vomiting =D)"
color me blood red "(shit)"
indigo_dream "(quite)"
dopesong "(anaesthetic)"
Kittie.Lee "(Audacity)"
Glow "(Monty Python??? I never made it through any of them.. I suck. )"
The_Prophet "(Antidisestablishmentarianism)"
filosofadelaspollas "(hullabaloo)"
kit33 "(Twitterpated or Incognito)"
GypsyDissident "(Cooch)"
ctlnpg "(diminutive.)"
Cerberus_the_dog "(Shag)"
deadinblood "(rediculous)"
Jenna Saisquoi "(discombobulated)"
TMHahn "("fuckheads" has been relevent recently.)"
ivy "("fuck" for t3h w1n!!!)"
solocard "(moist...)"
Mrs Wolf "(Innigkeit)"
deadvin "(exudate)"
MYBLUDWING69 "(supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)"  

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