Diary

Liquid Gravity/ Rippin' Bear/ Fatty's Pilsner
6/1/2021 | 0 comments

 

Meanwhile life goes on. For me, at least.

Bro left back to Hawaii early in the week. 

Got my second vaccine on Thursday. Again had no real reaction to it beyond some arm soreness. Feel glad to be protected, and to protect others.

Saturday Scott and I saw a couple of movies: "The Final Account" which featured interviews with Germans who were young when Hitler was in power, but also who were a part of the system, so young SS members and people who were in Hitler youth; and "New Order" which was a Mexican film about what happens when protestors start killing the rich, and the military has to crack down. It was very dystopian, but in a very matter-of-fact, true-to-life way. It depicts what most likely would actually go down, and as such is very grim, but also keeps you guessing as to what exactly might happen next. I would recommend it.

Did lots of work in the garden today, including planting a lemon tree (or future tree, as it isn't much more than a stick right now) that my sister had bought. Took out the kale and moved my tomato plants into the planter boxes, and got a new basil plant also going in the box.

We've actually got a couple of new rescues at work, so it looks like that's getting going again. As such, I've had 60-90 minutes of additional walking to do every day. But it's good to be earning that little bit more, as well as getting more steps in on the pedometer.

And Coachella was finally officially announced for 2022! I've been rolling over my tickets the whole time, so pretty much free Coachella for me!

Desert Daze is going to be a concert series, so not sure if I'll bother. Shaky Knees is happening in late October, and that may be when I reschedule my Georgia trip to, as Deez wants to go to at least one day of that. But do I want to wait that long for vacation?

Tomorrow I go back to the DMV to give another shot at getting this whole up-to-date license thing. Then I can take that to Social Security and get my name stuff officially onto the next stage.

Two years on T as of yesterday! Feeling so much better overall, though quite without hope that I'll ever find someone. At least I'll be alone and less dysphoric, as opposed to the alone and insanely dysphoric I was before.

 

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C.F.W.
5/23/2021 | 1 comments

My father called me at around 2:00 in the afternoon on Thursday, May 6 to tell me that he had one to three weeks to live. He was in the doctor's office and didn't have time to talk, but I asked him if I could come up on the weekend to see him, and he said yes, I should and he'd be home. This was the first time he'd been given any sort of timeline for his end of life, and it was a bit of a shock to both of us.

I got to his house around noon on Friday, after a brief stop at the beach on the drive up to stretch our legs and call mom for some words before getting to dad's. Upon arriving, I found him weakened even beyond what he'd been a month prior when I'd visited for Easter. But he was still able to stand and walk and give me a great, big bear hug for a greeting.

He told me that they'd basically stopped his treatments. No more blood or platelets. No more stays at the hospital. A woman came over from hospice to do the in-patient paperwork.

But he could still talk a bit. I didn't really know what to say. He put on "Nomadland" and was in and out of napping while he watched.

That afternoon and evening we played a few rounds of cribbage, though he wasn't able to shuffle the cards himself due to how much his hands were shaking. We had a nice dinner, and he ate a pretty normal amount for himself of late, sometimes dozing off with food in his mouth.

Saturday his wife's brother came up for an overnight stay. I never really heard my dad talk about his wife's siblings, so I wasn't aware of him being close to any of them. It felt more like a 'say good-bye' situation. But it took my dad away from me for that night, and we couldn't just talk and play cribbage as we used to, so I felt a bit put out by the whole thing. Maybe my dad was glad to see him. I don't know.

The guest left mid-morning Sunday, so I again had dad to myself. This had been my first visit since he'd read my coming out card I'd left for him, and he'd been calling me by my new name and "son" the whole time, never mistaking, so I complimented him on it, and told him he'd been the best about it so far. He said it was easy, having had a brother named Rory, so the pronoun was easy. I'd asked him about the word he used in his brief talk to me about acceptance, which was "ecstatic", but he again referenced my surprise at the word, rather than go deeper into what he meant, which is what I wanted. I didn't press it, but maybe should have.

Before leaving, I asked him to go outside to take another photo with me in the garden, as I was squinting into the sun in the photos we took at Easter. He shuffled out there through the garage in small steps, unable to take the stop down from the kitchen. Before I left, we hugged again, and he complimented me on how strong my hugs were getting to be.

I was supposed to be going to Georgia on Thursday the 13th, and dad said he'd be ok in a couple weeks and still be around for me. However, he was going downhill fast. My sister was communicating with his wife, initially planning on visiting when I was back from my trip, but finding out that it would probably be too late at that point. As soon as she made her plans to come over from Hawaii, I cancelled my trip, and instead planned to be with my two sisters and father for the upcoming weekend. My brother, lame person he sometimes is, wouldn't be joining.

I got to his house a bit earlier on Friday the 14th than I had the week before. It was a busier place, with two of his wife's sisters also there. Twins, actually, and one, thank goodness, a nurse.

Dad was sitting in a chair, so I sat next to him and took his hand. He squeezed mine back hard. "Still strong," I said to him. "Still strong," he quietly replied back.

HIs wife had mentioned wishing they had "Blazing Saddles" to watch the previous weekend, so I'd brought up a box set of Mel Brooks DVDs, and we put that one on while waiting for my sisters to show up. I held dad's hand for most of the time. He'd choke and cough instead of laughing at funny parts.

My sisters arrived and got to spend time with him. His ability to talk was pretty much gone by then, but he tried and I think they all got a few understandable words in. A nurse came in and hooked up a saline bag to him, which helped him feel a little better.

"Blazing Saddles" ended and I put in "Young Frankenstein", a movie I remember watching with him years and years ago. I think he approved of my choices, and it was wonderful to be able to sit around as a big family (both sisters have one boy each and they were along) and enjoy something together.

I started "HIstory of the World Part One" and we watched most of that together, but then my oldest sister said we probably shouldn't watch the French Revolution section together with young kids, and it was getting late, so we helped dad into his wheelchair and they said goodnight before he was wheeled off. They left for the hotel while I stayed at the house with Sabrina.

That night I said goodnight to my dad and told him I loved him, and he said, "I love you, son" and gave me a big hug while lying in bed.

The next day his wife was saying the previous day had been too much for him. His blood pressure was too high, and he hadn't been able to sleep. He might not even get out of bed. We'd already been planning a trip to a park to meet our (mom's side) aunt, so I assured her he'd be able to rest and relax. I went into his room to say hello and spend some time, and he eventually indicated to me that he wanted to get out of bed and go sit in the front room. So before everyone arrived, we got him wheeled out to his chair and watching college softball.

Everyone came over in the early afternoon for a short visit before we all headed out for our park outing. Dad and I locked eyes as I went out the front door, and he waved to me and I waved back, and he gave me a thumbs up and I returned it, and I will forever remember that look of love for me on his face as I walked out.

(Besides holding hands, dad also wanted to lock eyes with me a lot during the weekend. I tried, but eye contact makes me uncomfortable, and I feel like a coward for not being able to do it more.)

The park had a playground for the kids, and a small lake we walked around once we met up with my aunt. And to Sabrina's absolute delight, it had the most dirt squirrels I've ever seen in a single area, including even the amount at the Huntington Dog Park. And they were so stupid and so tame that she could have slaughtered them if I'd let her off-leash. One particularly fearless young one was just dumbly looking at Sabrina straining six inches away, no hole or tree to escape to in sight. I felt like I should just let Sabrina kill the thing for the good of the rest of the burrow.

After the park, we went to a brewhouse in nearby Orcutt for a meal before heading back to dad's.

Dad was still sitting in his chair, no nap having occurred. He could've keep anything down at this point, not even a popsicle. I held his hand as we watched a few episodes of Jeopardy, another fun family moment with each of us calling out answers. Dad couldn't really communicate at this point, though he tried, and I felt terrible to not being able to understand him. He tried writing, but could only produce scribbles from his shaking hands.

We finished the softball championship game, then it was bedtime again. Dad couldn't support his weight at all, and getting him transferred to the wheelchair left him shaking. My sisters left, and I was there for another night, really missing my support. I texted Hayley, who lost her mom when she was younger, about how hard it all was. She tried to help.

I went into the room to tell him I loved him, and he told me he love me. I held his shaking hand and tried to help him relax. Hugged him again.

That night was the worst of it. I couldn't sleep. Two or three times the wife's sisters went out in the middle of the night to get a new prescription to give him. They had me get off of the couch around 1:30AM to say my last good-byes. I found him sitting up, straining, eyes glassy and wide, unseeing. The wife claimed he said he saw clouds and stars. She asked him if he could see angels. The sounds he made didn't seem like responses. At some point, I was told it was time for me to go by one of the sisters. I took his hand and stroked it and told him he had to relax. I was there, and I loved him, and he had to rest. His whole arm was shaking violently, but he started to soften a bit as I was shuffled out.

More brief sleep interrupted by the wife coming out, saying to her sister, "he's someone who could never take any crap!" and, "he just wants to die!". Another prescription being retrieved and ripped open.

I slept briefly and woke to a quiet house. I could hear his breathing, at least, so it wasn't done yet, so I felt ok about taking Sabrina for a morning walk.

He was still breathing when I got back. The nurse sister told me I should tell my siblings to wait before coming over, as he was sleeping and shouldn't be interrupted, but then the wife said that it was ok, they can visit whenever. She let me see him, and it became apparent that he was unlikely to regain consciousness, so I texted my sisters to let them know that was the case. The wife is Catholic, so we sat over him and prayed the start of a rosary.

She left and I talked to him for a while. Told him how much I loved him, and how I was thankful that he'd stayed around so long for me, and that I wanted him to end his suffering.

My sisters arrived, and everyone got some time to say something to him. The wife and her nurse sister continuously dosed him with morphine and whatever else. His breathing deep and steady, but gutteral.

My sisters and I hugged and cried together. He meant very different things to each of us, and I especially was having a difficult time, as we were the closest. They did their best to support me. After another round of good-byes, they also had to leave to return home. I fretted about being left alone there, and they said I could go at any time. But I felt I had to stay to the end.

They headed out, as did one of the wife's sisters (the non-nurse, thank goodness).

I got my final bit of alone time with dad. I again thanked him for everything, naming the specific things he'd done for me over the years. Thanked him for staying, even though he was in significant pain for most of his life with his trigeminal neuralgia (one of those "suicide diseases"). Thanked him for fighting as hard as he could. For accepting me and always loving me. Told him I couldn't stand he was going so soon, but that I couldn't for him to suffer any more for my sake, that I had to let him go. Told him it was my final wish of him that he stop suffering. Held his hand and hugged his chest.

After an hour of being with him, I stepped outside to call my mom. She didn't answer, and as soon as I was done leaving my message, I was called inside and told he passed. It was 4:30 pm on Sunday the 16th, ten days after he'd been told he had one to three weeks to live. A tremendous feeling of sadness swept over me, and relief. I was glad it was over, but couldn't stand that my dad was gone.

They got me out of the room so they could clean and dress him. I could hear them behind the door, joking and laughing. I couldn't hear what was said, but I knew I couldn't stay in the house any more. The wife had already started packing up his books and things, so I loaded up the truck and told her I'd be back in a couple of months to get his things that hadn't been packed up yet.

I went to say goodbye to his physical form once more, and wife asked what kind of toothpaste I used. "What?" She handed me a tube and said it was his, and she uses prescription and can't have it, so would I like it? And I know grief affects everyone differently, but that's just an anecdote from the day that will stick with me now.

My Hawaii sister had been dropped off in Ventura to visit a friend and invited me to stay there for the night, so I opted for that rather than going all the way home. My mind was barely functioning as I made the drive down, but I made it fine. I needed support that night, and Hawaii sister is a positive force in the world, and her friend as well, who's been a near family member for a long time.

I opted to stay with them in Ventura for Monday, rather than driving home and then back up to work. So we walked to the beach and Sabrina got some ocean time. Then we drove to Main street and walked to an open-air brewhouse for a delicious lunch. Ventura's a pretty cool place, it turns out.

Went to work from there Monday night. Hard to get back into the swing of things after a weekend like.

My brother arrived Thursday, with my dad's oldest brother. The family decided to celebrate dad with an Irish wake. I was sad my brother came after he was gone rather than before, but as I said, we all had different relationships with dad. But I got to see his two sisters and two remaining brothers. I can't think of when I would've been them all together like that. They had lots of pictures of my dad in his heyday, and I was having a hard time seeing him healthy and smiling. But it was good to see everyone, and hear nice stories about him.

I'm still a bit crushed, however. Dad used to call me his best friend, and I'd roll my eyes and think, "yeah, right". But I now recognize that he was one of my best friends, and no one's going to talk to me like he did, or give me hugs like he did, or love me like he did. And I'll now always have this dad-shaped void in my life that can never be filled.

He told me he had AML Thanksgiving 2020, and six months later he's gone forever. He always said he just wanted to outlive his dad. 68 was the magic number. He made it to 68, but fell a month short of his father's lifespan.

Core Values/ Caliban
4/29/2021 | 0 comments

 

Finally got my first round of the covid vaccine. Ended up with Moderna's. So far I feel fine, minus the sore arm.

I'd been waiting until it got easier to get, and finally my doctor's office started offering, so I was able to get the shot and pick up my prescription all in one go. Took the dogs to Runyon, and they've finally taken the fence down, so the loop is opened up again. So overall an eventful morning.

Saw my dad's oldest brother a few times last week. He'd come over from Hawaii to pick up a camper truck he'd left here in the before times. I helped him go through some stuff and had a nice visit overall.

Booked my flights and got time off to go visit Hayley in Georgia. She's rented a beach house in Florida for part of the trip. Can't wait to chill with my friend again.

Otherwise more of the same, mostly. Yardwork, hikes at Kenneth Hahn and walks along the strand, endless chores around the house. Gave my truck a thorough cleaning.

Passed two more Coachella weekends with no Coachella. Looking like it won't be back til the spring of 2022. I'm feeling hopeful about Desert Daze happening in the fall. They've been hinting that it will be back, and take place in Joshua Tree again. I'm dying for live music's return.

Still no stock rocketships, but I can wait.

 

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Hop Concept IPA/ Hop Concept IPA (Unfiltered)
4/5/2021 | 0 comments

 

I mostly like my new phone, but man does it do some things I really just don't care for (like I don't know how to get the internet app to stop refreshing pages when I don't want it to, and I really miss a physical home button on the front, and they got rid of the light on the front that would let me know when I had a message or when the phone was finished charging). I've put my old SD card in the new one and am now waiting for all the songs on that to load. It isn't letting me add any more right now, and I'm hoping that's just because it's busy thinking. I also bought PowerAmp for the new one, as I liked using it in conjunction with Samsung's music app, and it's also having issues loading all the songs. Hopefully it's just because there are lots of them.

We saw a skink and a non-rattle snake at Canyonback on Monday, so I figured that would be it for the season. But then Tuesday morning was overcast, and the clouds looked high enough. I guess I underestimate the altitude of the Santa Monica Mountains, because it's usually sunny up there even when overcast below, and that was the case on Tuesday, too. But the clouds were high enough that they were rolling from one side of the canyon, over the ridge we were on to the other side and into the next canyon, keeping us cool enough that we had a reptileless morning. But I do suspect that's the last trip there for some time, unless I decide to go there and keep them on-leash. It does look and smell so wonderful at this time of year.

Wednesday I needed to pick up my prescription, so we went to Runyon. There were several people on the fenced-off stairs side, so after climbing up the paved part, I "followed the dogs" (my cover story, if I got in trouble) around the fence and onto the other side. And they had one way signs posted on both sides, as well as Covid warning signs and mask required signs, so I don't know why that stuff would be there if it was forbidden. Anyway, there were a few other people there, and we got away with it without incident.

Visited my dad on the weekend. The drive up on Good Friday was on the slower side, especially between LA and north Santa Barbara. We stopped at the beach, and I collected several interesting looking rocks and a couple pieces of driftwood to add to my garden.

Dad didn't look great when I first got there, very pale. He'd just gotten out of the hospital with an infection from the port they'd installed into his chest. He started feeling better about when I arrived, and ate well that night for the first time in a few weeks. The next morning he got platelets, and I walked Sabrina around the park while waiting for him to be done with that. I could tell he felt much better after that. Saturday night we watched the crazy won-by-a-half-court-shot-at-the-buzzer-in-overtime college basketball semifinal between UCLA and Gonzaga. I never watch basketball, but it was a very exciting game.

Sunday morning I took Sabrina to a series of nearby hiking trails. We hiked for a little over an hour, and it was getting more crowded with bikers and hikers when we left. Played the last few games of cribbage with dad and had a big Easter lunch before heading back down to work. I noticed he hadn't opened the card I'd left for him the last time I was there, so I handed it to him as I got into the truck. There was no traffic at all this time, so we had a chance for another quick beach trip.

Got home this morning to find my asshole brother-on-law had torn out all of my poppies from the front yard (even the ones that were in the planter that I've put succulents in). Why must that dude be such an asshole? They were really starting to take off with blooms and now the yard looks like shit because he dug it up like an idiot. God that guy is such a tool!

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The Future is Fluid/ Thundera/ Bitburger Festbier
3/26/2021 | 0 comments

 

Whoaaaaaaa! So it was just MY LAPTOP this whole time?! WTF? I'm using grandpa's old laptop, and I CAN TYPE IN THIS TEXT BOX!!! I haven't been able to do that on my laptop in YEARS!!! This changes EVERYTHING!!!

My laptop is, essentially, useless these days. I can't plug anything into the USB ports or it insta-dies. So I was sort of resigned to just not putting new music on my phone until I got a new laptop.

But then my phone began to crash whenever I tried to read my text messages (I know, how dare I). The app would just crash.

Let me go back. I got this phone in October of 2016 in Florida, when the one before it blackscreened while I was at The Magic Kingdom. So I just had to replace it then and there, and got one at a Sprint in Orlando.

The next weekend, I lost it at the first Desert Daze we went to during Saul Williams' spiritual performance. It was, at least, taken to lost and found, and I was able to get it back later.

Then we changed family plans to AT&T, and my phone lost features like being able to send photos in texts, or participating in group messages. My mom recently told me my voicemail isn't set up, and I realized I hadn't gotten a voicemail since 2018, so I assume that also went. Then the text message app crash happened, and I couldn't take any more.

So I got a new phone, the free one which is a Galaxy A11. Thing is a big beast. I don't know what I think yet, and I hate that I have to give my everything to Samsung and Google in order for basic operations to work. 

But I also kept the old one, because I quite like it and find it useful still. I've also been thinking of giving it to Deez at some point to be an mp3 player for her, but we'll see. It still does everything it used to, just without the things the phone portion does.

Anyway, I was telling my sister that I wouldn't be able to transfer anything because of my broken laptop, and she told me mom had left grandpa's old laptop in our attic, so here I am using that. It's old and slow and enormous, so I still want to get a new laptop sometime, but this really takes the pressure off.

Otherwise, not much. Couldn't get a real ID because SS, couldn't get my SS card because they don't accept photocopies, birth certificate was rejected because I didn't get my application notarized (didn't know I had to). Needed two court dates, so it looks like I'm just a fuckup and have to try again after I've gotten everything wrong the first time. I accept it.

Moved my stocks out of Robinhood because they seem sketchy, and they sold my partial shares for a loss, so I've already lost money in the stock market, haha. It's becoming quite apparent that the whole thing's rigged here in the US, which isn't at all surprising, but still a bit disappointing.

Oh yeah, and I had a birthday somewhere in there. Working the night into it, then multiple coworkers called out, so I stayed a few hours after to help out. Couldn't go to Canyonback because of the later hour, so we went to Kenneth Hahn instead. Then home for a few hours before getting back to work. Exciting stuff.

Planted more things in the garden and finished off the ground with the last batch of mulch. I'll keep visiting garden centers monthly and chipping away at the project.

Figure that about catches us up.

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Petition


What's your favorite word?

The following people signed this petition:

Hespera "(No!)"
bena "(forgiven)"
barcode "(excellent exercise, I like it, but it's too difficult for me )"
firelust
joseph "(haid)"
HoboEnigmaMe "(Veggie Egg Rolls ...Mmmmm)"
tar-nuh "(hai)"
Cerra "(No.)"
Sludge "(Edification)"
northern lights "(filament)"
Raaji "(succulent OR hibiscus)"
cenobite "(burgle)"
snodogj "(cunt.)"
bodybuilderef "(yes)"
Pheonix "(babydoll)"
bubbadduck "(fuck)"
instigator "(penis)"
prettypinkkitty007 "(constitute)"
ParadoxBaby "(paradox)"
wyrd "(megszentségteleníthetetlenkeskedéseitekért)"
wela meohewa "(fabulous )"
karakins "(Luxurious)"
Sara_Timberlake "("cunt"...it's a very powerful word.)"
sam gideon "(wrought)"
Kaitlyn "(ineffable)"
bridge "( )"
Kyrenna "(wanderlust)"
SIN "(ubiquitous)"
iFeLLdown "(caramelldansen.)"
supercute "(ubiquitous & esoteric)"
kaz "(Hi!)"
BendtheGlass "(embolism)"
Stupid_Girl "(doi)"
choice "(paradigm)"
Curt "(awesome)"
.caitlin. "(Flaps)"
ShaggyDope "(the most versitile word in the english language, fuck.)"
Bexi "(fuck)"
LittleOne83 "(Restitution....it's a work thing!)"
AshleyBrass "( )"
samma "(Flutter.)"
shutup "(ohhhhh)"
-Matt- "(fuck!)"
merrry "(Stitch-my husband's nickname)"
jaymazing "(clavix)"
Pure-Fiction "(Hello friend!)"
Orgasmic Fantasy "(moist)"
rarr.ae "(chimerical! i just figured it out about a month ago. yours?)"
rayneofsorrow "(manuver)"
Whitespace "(Perspicuity.)"
wiccan3 "(That's what she said... -referring to dodgy things only though-)"
VEAL "(sphincter)"
sane "(sasafras)"
Diskonnektie "(ej thankuu. god, you've had a suspension, what's the feeling like)"
Katkutia "( )"
Shevek "(klem)"
IronChef "(twat just say it and it makes you smile)"
eva "(swell, counterintuitive, longing)"
yarddog "(one of these I HAVEN'T signed!)"
xaqari15 "(zowie)"
strawberry "(douche)"
ducttapedave "(i like frood.)"
Jeanna "(dang'it)"
aniorange "(rosebud)"
Calamity "(pantaloon)"
ashbat "(BEVERAGE)"
Scenester "(awesometastic)"
KatePrayer "(motherfucker)"
edcunard "(inchoate)"
Lizzard "(FUCK!!!)"
ambrosia "(hey thnaksfor saying hi i'm new to iam and am a little lost!!)"
Jake "(I don't have just one. I just learnt "coquelicot", though.)"
paulo4127 "(bollucks)"
chemically_lobotomized "(cockamamie - yay for House fans!!!)"
JuuL "(Berserk)"
EoniAbstract "(projection)"
Sad Squid "(i do say awesome a lot. seriously...a lot. )"
deadly pale "(atemberaubend - nicely hard and with a cool meaning)"
snoogans "(fwang)"
scamp "(onomatopoeia always makes me giggle)"
Ernest "(uncertainty)"
goomy "(honeybunny)"
Mr.me "(Finkelstein)"
vizante "(needle)"
freakz "(champingnon)"
lost girl "(smooshed.)"
bexrox "(rain)"
tlw "(I still pick animals over people. At least they care.)"
Mangaartist "(I have a lot, I LOVE English words, it isn't my 1st language.)"
PiercingBunny "(Shit!)"
HEDGEHOG51 "(GNARLY)"
sugarNspice "(sweet)"
level3stud "(undulating)"
allison_scout "(heebeejeebee's)"
TripleHelix "(Syzygy, because it's structurally perfect)"
firstluff "(scadink " move it a scadink to the left")"
Rumball "(philanphropist)"
ununseptium "(authenticity)"
Holly Bo "(Spork)"
an0nymous_vamp1re "(Ni)"
Della "(It's a toss-up between "maelstrom" and "dichotomy.")"
jazzybean "(proper - i'm cornish )"
bruxa "(I'm old Gregg!)"
hobo soup "(moist.)"
Satans_Angel "(schooch)"
manini "(love)"
amberlynne "( )"
helanus "(weasel!!)"
KIVAKA "(love)"
tyger burning bright "(why?)"
radical kiba "(snarly)"
jonathandoe "(hella)"
Zee "(Smock!)"
Nermal "(Shenanigans)"
The Hektik1 "(cheedle )"
MrNoModifications "(Feierabend)"
s_a_h_mommy "(flibbertigibbit)"
Golem37 "(Cooter)"
fetch "(gravy)"
postblue_ "( )"
fuck_life "(RAD)"
brokken "(what ever word fits?)"
Blood Roses "(ambiguous)"
Lofty "(Seriously. )"
hailshimmer "(New favourite is AHOY!)"
Daddy "(Sharks!)"
vivica "(GollyGeeWillakers!!)"
Mentabolism "(Fantastic)"
yurmomnaked "(fuck, shit, or cunt)"
JustJen "(Fastidious )"
brute "(your calvin and hobbes tattoo is the best thing i have ever seen!)"
xdollfacexpiex "(Cunt I know it's bad but I love it!)"
*Stitch* "(so many good ones...um i'm going to say taco)"
Myko "(fhqwhgads)"
Miss Gabrielle "(Bloody, Bah!, and Pissy.)"
phoenixxx "(smarmy)"
Raphael EN "(hiricow !)"
oddbod "(pain)"
GnomeChomsky "(triflin')"
angelicfruitcake "(Snout! Or crocodile...)"
HighLevel "(Goeiendag)"
Sugar "(Apoplectic)"
cadaver "(guillotine. my bf's current favourite is verisimilitude)"
autumn "(Moist)"
rusu "(Bubble. But I use the work 'wanker' an awful lot.)"
MizzGrell "("Crap")"
DragonHeart "(pie!)"
shadowsidetattoos "(cheers dude, like your tatts)"
steveinthesun "(DESKS)"
SamanthaM "(tits)"
vonfaust "(at the moment 'homonymn')"
Bot "(Bitchin')"
DrGreenThumb "(Hella)"
Mike Dimas "(fun)"
residue "(Swiss Army Knives ftw!)"
Killer Bee "(Dang- because i once heard a 19 month old say it )"
Blitzkid196 "(queue.)"
DreamsOfJade "(pervert. i dont know why. just is hhaahahahaha)"
dejennarate "(efficacy)"
atatattoo "( )"
Dawnie "( )"
nadineynuisance "(cunt)"
Hollywood "(triceratops)"
jessecake "( )"
Malvenkemo "(My favourite French words are pneu and pamplemousse. )"
namicoj "( )"
Stitch Faced Angel "(Strudle)"
pierced-boy "(love)"
Dreadlocksmile "(apocalyptic)"
doxgukka "(monkey)"
george_the_ballerina "(saucy)"
xJessiCUNTx "(cunt)"
Chronics "(cunt)"
Povallsky "(See, I was thinking of getting an adamantium helmet...)"
clubberdude1981 "(Merge)"
Fuzz "(Cuntwhapple)"
Cmhionn "(Skwerl)"
11 "(Murmel)"
The_Voodoo_Dolly "(abso-fucking-lutely)"
ColeMine "(discombobulated)"
Emily Post-Punk "(slyboots)"
Tovie "(quixotic)"
nekokichi "(cunt)"
:with love and squalor: "(conundrum)"
KnifeInTheMarathon "(suamaetrepanofiadaputa)"
BeccaMonster "(Wonky)"
ookumbubbleoo "( )"
Chadgrisly "(Obscure)"
majikan "(kutjes)"
the pierced russian "(fuck)"
Nero "(kluge)"
Amadahy "(aight)"
evilpixie "(discombobulate because it has Disco and Bob)"
ShesSoVaVaVoom "(kumquat)"
Mythology "(outlandish)"
ColdSweat "(Cockbadger)"
fluffyreptile "(cooder)"
dboard9 "(Nipples.)"
brian.johnson "(prehensile)"
Morgue "(Turmoil)"
Jemma.m "(flannel!)"
())crayon))> "(sleep)"
Somech1ck "(fuck)"
DIY'er "(Arrrrrr!)"
livid "(llama)"
AnotherBleedingHeart "(therefore)"
EziliGede "(fuck-nut)"
Kid Presentable "(crapshoot)"
Crowned Dragon "(pernicious)"
nufger "(success)"
jody "(murder)"
blackwinghalo "(spanakopita)"
Funky "(funkadelic)"
FauxPas "(Indubitably)"
Chevo "(FUCK)"
Knulp "(quark)"
chickadee2084 "( )"
Caroline June "(Litotes)"
Auryn "( )"
Celticgent "(YES.)"
soulmom "(shenanigans & bombardment)"
second place "(snow)"
Snow White "(crumbs, cunt and jinkies)"
TattoedMat "( )"
XkuruX "(irrelevant)"
asphixiation "(Coitus. Why isn't it used more now? Thanks for signing!)"
SVEN "(thats money)"
shpluck "(portal)"
verve729 "(Soliloquy)"
kermee "(stuff)"
Jinxed "(No)"
Alledria "(currently it's "effusive")"
fieryn "(epitome)"
Jareb "(cunt.... sorry, but i love it!!!!!)"
Hail "(boobies)"
MartiniBuiltForTwo "(fuck- or trepidation )"
asparagus "(banana)"
DrLouLou "(Hello hello!)"
Leroy "(Smeg)"
blackandblue "( )"
ConchyMcBleed "(brrrmmmm)"
MsNightingale "( )"
dazedeagle "(shit. I say it all the time, I have a shit problem.)"
Elfling "(thank you for the birthday wishes!!! )"
Melissa "(shitass)"
little_miss_pirate "(bangle)"
christina bo bina "(bologna!)"
perpetual "(chicken eye and seductive)"
luckyshamrock "(whiplash and i like guttersnipe too)"
no_pants "(Blech!)"
JennaG "(ooze)"
Stardust "(achtung- a German word that sounds like projectile vomiting =D)"
color me blood red "(shit)"
indigo_dream "(quite)"
dopesong "(anaesthetic)"
Kittie.Lee "(Audacity)"
Glow "(Monty Python??? I never made it through any of them.. I suck. )"
The_Prophet "(Antidisestablishmentarianism)"
filosofadelaspollas "(hullabaloo)"
kit33 "(Twitterpated or Incognito)"
GypsyDissident "(Cooch)"
ctlnpg "(diminutive.)"
Cerberus_the_dog "(Shag)"
deadinblood "(rediculous)"
Jenna Saisquoi "(discombobulated)"
TMHahn "("fuckheads" has been relevent recently.)"
ivy "("fuck" for t3h w1n!!!)"
solocard "(moist...)"
Mrs Wolf "(Innigkeit)"
deadvin "(exudate)"
OneOwner "(supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)"  

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