For as long as long as I can remember, I've wanted a tattoo. I never really knew what exactly I wanted but I knew I had to have ink in my skin.
At A Glance Author Alithium Contact Alithium@bme.anon IAM Alithium When It just happened Artist Luke Studio The Tattoo Shop Location Tucson, Arizona For probably about fifteen years, I've considered what I wanted to permanently place on my skin. This wasn't a piercing; I couldn't just take it out if I got sick of it.
Finally, a year or so ago, my decision was made. I was going to get an infinity symbol on my lower back. The infinity was to symbolize that no matter what life throws at me from here on out, I will persevere. I had dealt with so much in my life up until this point, nothing could stop me.
I'd spent a lot of time researching shops in my area and getting quotes for prices. I had probably been through every portfolio of every reputable artist in town... twice.
A few weeks ago, a good friend, Shane, of mine took me into The Tattoo Shop to get a quote on his tattoo. He suggested I ask Luke about my infinity. He said it would be easy, no problem, $50. It was just to be either a simple line drawing on my back or a small filled-in symbol. I was ecstatic. I decided that with my next paycheck, I would be getting my infinity.
I got paid. The money was burning a hole in my pocket. On Monday, March 10, 2003, I called and made my appointment for Shane and I to get both our pieces done the following Thursday, March 13. I'm obsessive compulsive and 'breaking an appointment' was not in my vocabulary. So there was no way I could back down now.
The day at work went by so quickly, it was five o'clock before I knew it. Shane picked me up and we were on our way to the shop. The moment of truth was soon to be here.
Luke was so amazingly cool. We stood outside and smoked a cigarette and talked about the tattoo. He asked who was going first and Shane volunteered me. I was pacing and shifting my weight back and forth. I was incredibly nervous. Probably more nervous than I had ever been in my life. Luke told me not to worry, I'd be just fine. I wasn't so sure.
We went inside and he drew up the simple symbol. After a few changes, it was ready to be put on my back. He put the stencil on after showing me all the tools and having me sign the paperwork. It was rather difficult to see the placement on my back, so I had to rely on Luke and Shane to tell me how it looked. He put on the stencil, but the placement was just a little off. One more try and it was absolutely perfect. Luke, Shane, and I went outside to smoke another cigarette and then it was time. I was in my final moments of having reversible mods. I was ready.
Luke had me sit in the chair and lean forward. Shane sat off to the side to hold my hand. They had described the pain as someone dragging their fingernail over your skin or maybe even a pencil. I didn't believe them, even though they both had several tattoos. I leaned forward in the chair, gripping the vinyl of the chair. I was ready to rip it off when Luke got near my back and I heard the gun.
I was waiting for a ripping, searing, cutting pain. I was waiting to flinch, to cry, and to tense up. I was waiting for the worst pain of my life.
I got none of those things.
It was hard to believe he had really started. I hardly felt it as he drew each line. I was holding onto Shane while he and Luke chatted back and forth.
But something wasn't right.
A little back story: when I get pierced, I hyperventilate, then stop breathing during the actual piercing. With piercings, that works because it's just one needle, BAM, and you're done, and I can start breathing again. With tattoos, I learned that my method was not going to work.
I started seeing spots and got the worst tunnel vision of my life. I started feeling like I was floating and I got very light-headed. I thought I could handle it... but then the nausea came.
"I feel light headed," I squeaked. Moments later, I rasped, "I feel sick." Within seconds, Luke had me outside in the parking lot with cool air on my face and a cup of water in my hand. Oh yeah. I puked. I am now the girl that puked in the parking lot. I smoked a cigarette and drank my water. It was hot in the shop, plus I was full of adrenaline and I wasn't breathing. Those three factors lead up to my embarrassing situation in the parking lot.
I went back inside and sat back in the chair. I wanted to be done so I could be out in the cold air again. Within minutes, Luke was drawing the final line and I was light-headed again. Another quick breath outside and then he cleaned me up. Total time under the actual gun? About fifteen minutes!
We decided to leave the outline to see how I liked it; he said if I wanted to fill it in, I could come back and he'd do it at no cost to me. I thanked him and drank more water and then it was time for Shane to get his tattoo.
The moral of this story isn't so much the tattoo. It isn't so much the planning of it. And it's definitely not so much the puking in the parking lot. It's the total empowering feeling this tattoo gave me. I'm a chubbier girl and always make sure I'm covered from my chest to the bottom of whatever pants or skirt I'm wearing. For this tattoo, I had to have my shirt pulled up and my pants pulled very low. I didn't care that people were in and out of the shop. I felt absolutely beautiful just how I was.
And that was the true power of the infinity.