Can Someone Put My Music On???

I resisted the urge to imagine, expect, and organize till Monday, July 14. Once it was there, I felt kind of excused, or maybe justified, to start making preparations. I started with the soundtrack for my soon-to-be first suspension because even though music plays a purely functional role in my life, I still enjoy listening to it while doing things. I did not know how long I would be able to stay up but my 'soundtrack' list had seven tracks on it. All carefully chosen, with key words distinct and powerful. I am verbal, into languages, so it just had ... read more

Tale of a hook virgin - my facial pulling

I wrote this experience back in '04, but for some reason never submitted it. Upon re-reading it I see parts I'd totally rewrite today; it's terribly long, dry and detailed. However I hope it will be of interest to some, especially people who are just getting into this stuff. Bio, mods I'm 25 years old, and first entered the world of body piercing about ten years ago. Due to a negative healing experience, though, my interest waned and was only renewed about two years ago, sparked by an encounter with a modified girl who later became my girlfriend, and mother ... read more


How can I possibly put it into words, something like that? I don't even understand it, what happened up there. And I'm really the only one that could. There are just some things that cannot be put into words. The only way to get it is to have been there, and even then, you'd understand it in your own way. I guess all I can do is tell it like it happened. I've long thought that the Lotus is the most peaceful suspension position - meditating on air, like a piece of classic iconography. I figured I had a lot ... read more

A DIY resurrection experience

This is the story of my attempt to suspend myself with the help of a friend, Chris. I don't recommend you try this at home or anywhere else without proper background, training and equipment. I figured since I've suspended so many times I could pull it off on my own once. Chris has a D ring in the roof of his room and it can support more than his weight and my own weight (about 100lbs). So we decided to use that, and were going to tie the rig off to another D ring on the wall. I had four ... read more

Not so much of déjà vu – Tattoo Fest 2008

It started with "oops" on my part! I was supposed to meet my tattoo artist and his friend, my travel companions to the third annual Tattoo Fest, on the Central Train Station in Poznan. 10 minutes before our train's departure we still haven't met yet and I was told over the phone that I probably was in the wrong place. Sure enough, it was my fault and, my blood heavy with "catch-the-train-or-not" adrenaline load, all I could say after meeting the guys on the right train platform was "oops, sorry!" Everything was slower and more relaxing than the previous year ... read more

Sutured Shut

2007 wasn't the best year for me, and I found that many of the troubles I had stemmed from how I interacted with those around me as well as what my general outlook on life was. As December drew to a close, I hoped to take some time to reflect on the year that was and think about the one to be. I'd wanted to do a lip sewing for a while (can't exactly say why; it just appealed to me), but wished to make it more of a symbolic ritual than a spectacle, and so was just looking for ... read more

My DIY Pull

Before I get into this, I just want to state that this is merely a personal account of what I did and how I did it. This is not intended to be interpreted as the 'right' way, or even as a good way, to do any of this. I felt that doing it myself would be essential to how I experienced this particular event. If you feel that this is best left to the professionals, by all means, go to the experts; if you want to try something like this yourself, don't use this as a guideline. Do your research ... read more

Extraordinary things

The first time you suspend is like the first time you have sex; nervous beforehand, feelings of excitement and yet complete vulnerability, indecisions, and of course...pain. I've built up suspension in my head for so long. I've read a million different experiences and articles and I could barely watch a video of someone suspending without aching with jealousy. So it would obviously come to pass that I would be super excited about finally getting my chance to suspend. I saw the look on Josh's(my boyfriend) face when he got down from the hooks for the first time so long ago. ... read more

A journey of self-discovery

So I've been doing some thinking on my suspension and really what it means to me. I've wanted to start writing things down but haven't really felt like I've given it enough thought. Anyways I'm feeling like its (my suspension) has really unlocked something in my own mind that I've sort of known was always there. It's now the 20th almost 21st of November and I did my suspension on the 27th of October. I'm still at a point where I type and look up at the screen only to erase what I just typed thinking that there should be ... read more

Resurrect me with four wings

I am not prepared. You easily know it, when you're facing something you're not prepared to, and I had a voice repeating this in my mind. I am not prepared. When I took off my t-shirt I understood that it was too late to turn it back. I am not prepared. Like the first suspension I went through, my mind was screaming at me my lack of preparation. Am I focused enough? Calm enough? Inspired enough? Do I feel my body and trust it enough? And that crying voice keeps on repeating: No. No. No. I lay down on the ... read more

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