The white, slightly raised skin outlining a star on my hand has been there for almost 10 months now. Looking down at my hand as I type and flood of memories comes from last summer. Riding in a car without air conditioning picking at the scab, careful not to tear past the outline. The green, yes green puss that was beginning to build-up was disgusting. All the while just knowing that I loved it and was going to even more once it was done.
At A Glance Author anonymous Contact anonymous@bme.anon When A year ago Artist me Studio room Location home I did it because I needed to do it. I felt something was missing. I cant really explain that. To me there's nothing more beautiful than some sort of design on the human body. They almost seem incomplete without them. But I digress.
I started by using a sharpie (they are non toxic) to do the outline. Drawing stars is pretty easy for me, I draw them everywhere. Making sure it was perfect took a while, but this is forever so it was time well spent. I knew what I was doing was stupid, and dangerous. As I said before I needed it. If taking the chance and doing it myself was what I had to do, then I was prepared for the consequences.
I had prior experience, so this was not the first time I had done scarification. I took the razor out of the cardboard and plastic it had been sold in. My hand was shaking, from the anticipation. Steadying it I set to work carefully following the path of the black line. Not satisfied until I saw the blade go in the desired depth I pushed harder and dragged it down the design. Each arm of the star took me about 5 minutes. I was trying to be as consistent as possible with the depth. When I was done with the cutting I looked over to the candle on the desk. It had been lit the entire time.
Picking up the small piece of wire beside it I held it over the fire. Counting to twenty I took it off and whipped of the carbon with a piece of cloth. I had already measured the proper length of the stars arm and bent it to fit. I set my hand down on the desk in a fist. My body numb and my mind alert I set it down on the first cut. The pain from the heat seared the wound. Holding it until it was numb, then lifting it up. I continued for about 45 minutes. When I finished I applied pressure with a cloth. The area that I had done ( the top of the hand where the arm and hand meet, towards the thumb) was practically numb.
Taking a moment to breath, I took the piece of cloth off and waited for the burns to rise. Some of the other arms had already begun to come up. I still waited for the others. It took about 15 minutes for this to happen. Then reaching for another razor I cut the already raised skin. The clear puss dribbled out, and I caught it with a paper towel. The area was moist with it by the time I was done. I kept pressure on it for a bit longer and blew out the candle.
I walked up the stairs and headed for the bathroom. I slowly picked the dead skin off of it with a q-tip. I knew that I was done for the day. Now I would wait for it to scab over. Looking down with pride and the perfection of the initial scar I knew that it wouldn't necessarily stay this perfect. Because it was so deep haphazardly picking the scabs would tear the skin and distort the scar. But I had learned this from the others that weren't as visible as my hand.
The next few weeks consisted of picking the scab about twice a day. Each time I removed the scab I would see the wet, pink skin underneath. The half uncovered tunnels forming a scar would have clear liquid. I used paper towels to blot it out. There was green puss towards the end. I started to wash it out, knowing that it had already scarred sufficiently.
I am very happy with the results. The skin eventually formed a thin keloid. The star stayed virtually perfect. There is a slight red line around the white raised skin when it gets cold. When it is too hot it practically disappears. The star lives with me, it is a part of me. And I love it. Since then I have done a few others. Realizing the risk involved, and being satisfied with what I had I stopped. I can wait for the others (larger and more detailed) until I can get them done professionally.
I hope this has been helpful to others, if you are going to do it, think about and be careful. I'm not sure if the way I did it was the "proper" way, but it worked for me.