English is not my mother tongue, but I decided to write in this language and I hope the result is acceptable enough for the BMEzine community. I hope you enjoy the reading. So this week, I got my first genital piercings, 4 outer labia piercings, two on each side. They are the first part of a more extended genital modification plan. As time goes by, I will see how far I will go. I happen to be an FTM (female-to-male transsexual), and I want to change the appearance of my genitalia so that they look more male without undergoing the major and risky typical genital sex reassignment surgery. I have a genetic disorder which means that I tend to build keloids, so it is worth having a look at options which cause less scars than the "orthodox" surgery. This is one reason why I decided to figure out body modification alternatives.
At A Glance Author anonymous Contact anonymous@bme.anon When It just happened Artist Roland Studio Visavajara Location Freiburg/Breisgau, Germany Therefore, a few days ago, I went to the Visavajara studio in Freiburg/Breisgau (Germany) for an intense counseling interview with Roland. The Visavajara had been recommended to me by the Trust tattoo and piercing studio in Mannheim. I had a few books with me, "Transsexualität. Ein Therapieleitfaden" with surgery pics, as well as the photo albums "Body Alchemy" by Loren Cameron and "Sublime Mutations" by Del Lagrace Volcano, which showed how a clitoris grows under testosterone and some of the surgery results, and of course, Roland and his colleague Ralf got to see my clit growth after one year of hormones. First I told Roland how the traditional genital surgery works for FTMs, which he found very interesting and amazing (but of course he would never do that himself!).
I had a lot of questions, some of which were of my own, others were a collection from various people in an FTM forum who knew where I was going, and I had asked them to figure out FTM-related questions. By the way, some of the questions were about how to deal with scars from a mastectomy (breast removal) and what reconstructive body modification one can have if, after the mastectomy, you lose a nipple. Roland advised me to go to a good tattoo artist and suggested Jacqueline from the Corazon studio in Luzern, Switzerland, who is specialized in breast cancer patients. Some of my other questions turned out to be very silly, but regarding alternative genital body modifications, what Roland told me sounds pretty good.
Both Roland and his colleague Ralf were not only nice guys, but also very interested in my subject, and they took much time and thoughts to find good ideas for me and advise me well (especially Roland, as Ralf had a lot of customers that day and, most of the time, could not assist in the counselling, which he regretted). As far as I can judge, I can highly recommend them. We figured out an FTM genital modification plan as follows:
- Outer labia piercings, at the same heights on both sides. Once healed, you can put a ring or barbell through both holes left and right. Thus, your pussy does not look like a pussy any more, it is not open and does not have this "split in two"-look. Instead, it looks a little bit more like a scrotum although, of course, the volume is missing. Roland explained that there is a piercing style among males called scrotal ladder which resembles the result. And, of course, the piercings should not be too high because the clitoris would be hidden otherwise. (The clitoris increases a lot in size under testosterone until it looks like something in-between clitoris and penis, and I have been under testosterone for a year so it is already worth not hiding the clit but boasting hehe.) This modification is what I did this Monday right away.
- As I have to stick to the outer labia piercing topic here, I will just hint at the other ideas. I want to do some of this, but not all. You can implant silicone implants in the outer labia to make them appear a bit more like a male scrotum (split scrotum, to be more precise). You can make a triangle piercing, which makes the enlarged clitoris protrude more and look bigger or thicker and thus, more like a dick. You can implant beads in the enlarged clit to make it appear bigger. You can pump your clitoris (be careful!) so it increases in size. Etc.
Well, so I went ahead to get my outer labia pierced. The only other piercing I ever had was a nose piercing ten years ago. Nevertheless, I was very motivated to get the piercings done because it was not just for esthetical reasons. After explaining me the risks and stuff, Roland made me lay down and prepared everything for the piercing. In water or disinfectant, he cooled down the needles, which had previously been heated up to 280 degrees Celsius if I remember well. He clamped my right outer labia and said he would count backwards from three to one. When the needle started going through, he started counting, and was done when the needle had perforated the labia. It was nasty, it hurt and I was happy when he was done. I could feel both skin layers being pierced and that was somewhat creepy. I did not scream out loud, but if I remember well I made a complaining sound. Putting the ring through did not cause any extra pain, at least, and the whole procedure was fast.
Then there were three other piercings to do. Roland had told me that I could interrupt the procedure whenever I felt like, but I was too motivated to give up and still felt okay. So I had this experience three more time. I was glad when we were done.
I am looking forward to how it will look like when the piercings are healed and I can put the labia together. For now, I have to take care of the piercings so they can heal. Another effect, and in this respect the visit at the Visavajara was really therapeutic, for the first time since I started transitioning I had the feeling that I could decide on my own what to do with my body. Usually, the German public health insurance companies force trans people to have 1 ½ years of psychological counseling plus two psychiatric opinions before letting them have their surgery, and to change your first name is not much easier either. I ended up hating to depend on other people's judgement whether I would be allowed to get my body more like my inner body image and feel more comfortable and having to justify myself over and over again for mine being trans and wanting a comparatively banal surgery (mastectomy). Maybe this sounds like a typical phrase of a rape victim but I was happy this we ek to be able to claim my body back.
It was so nice that I could just go to a piercing studio and was suddenly considered a normal human being, responsible of my acts and able to judge how I want to spend my life and accepting that I wanted or even had to change my body to be happy. It is so marvellous not to be pathologized any more, to get some mods done without having to fight with the health insurance or being forced to see a psychiatrist for one year and a half (it is ridiculous, I am sure that even a child molester would never be forced to see a psychiatrist for so long). Although I have never had much connections to the body modification scene, you body mod folks really earned my respect and admiration! It was like having my body belong to me again and not to the juristic or medical administrative labyrinth anymore.
I do not regret the piercings at all, and I am very proud of them. I hope the pseudo-"scrotal ladder" will work well.