Five years ago, I decided to help out my cousin. We grew up as if we were brothers and not cousins. He was a piercer at a local shop, and mentioned to me one day that he wanted to do some more male genital piercings. I told him "You can pierce me if you want... for practice or whatever." which he was down with. A few days later, he told me to stop by the shop. I went with my girlfriend at the time (She's now my wife and mother of my daughter). I told Jack I'd like a Prince Albert. It was a piercing that I thought about getting for a while, but was always sketched out by the idea of one of my piercer friends performing on me... I didn't want things to get weird... but family, that's different. Family is there for you no matter what, no judgements.
At A Glance Author Big Frank Contact Big Frank@bme.anon When Five years ago Artist Jack Froese Studio Marc's Tattooing Location Dickson City, Pennsylvania, USA We went into his room and he got everything all set up. He turned to me and said "Okay, drop your drawers." I pulled them down, the entire time thinking to myself that maybe this wasn't the best idea after all. We were very close, but I wasn't sure if we should be as close as we were about to get. He turned, looked at me... standing there with my pants around my ankles, bewildered and beginning to turn red. "Pull them back up! I'm not ready." He said as he turned back around. Obviously, this was just as weird for him as it was for me. I stood there for a moment, listening to the heckling from a few of the tattoo artists shouting from their rooms. My girlfriend laughed out loud as she was eavesdropping outside the door.
"Okay... Let's try this again." Said Jack. I dropped my pants and hopped up on the table. The sterile environment and the fact that my male cousin was about to manipulate my penis made me as flaccid as week old ramen. Jack turned to me and uttered "Oh god" as he saw me lying there. He came over and let me know the ground rules.
"Rule number one... No talking. Rule number two... No eye contact, if you look at me I'll fucking kill you, got it?" I replied "Yeah I got it." Jack quickly cut me off with "Rule number one... No talking."
Jack hovered over me, I stared straight up at the ceiling, my girlfriend roared with laughter and the tattoo artists heckled on. "We should be videotaping this!" one of them yelled. "You have the biggest balls I've ever seen." Said Jack, utterly disgusted. I just stared at the ceiling... after all, he was the one who'd be plunging a needle through my penis momentarily. "Ok... I have to touch it now." he said despairingly. His two fingers lifted my penis as if it were the most disgusting thing in the world. I felt him study it for a few moments. "Ok dude... I have to put the steel tube in. There is nothing I can do to make this more comfortable for you, so you're just going to have to deal with it." I readied myself as the sensation came over my body. I've never felt anything so strange, so alien, as something going the wrong way in my urethra. I let out a little "Ugh." and the place roared into laughter. In a moment, Jack said "Ok... here comes the needle. I'm going to count to three... inhale as I count, exhale on three, and I'll pass the needle through." One-inhale... Two-hold breath... Three-oh boy... "Oh fuck!" I said quite loudly as the needle passed through the underneath of my penis. The tattoo artists broke into applause. The feeling was unlike anything I'd ever felt before with any piercing... a flash of cold... a sharp sting... a torrent of heat... a tightening... and then a throb.
In a few moments, the jewelry was in... a 10 gauge captive bead ring. He gave me a mirror to admire it. "Holy shit... I have a ring in my penis." was all I could think. My girlfriend came in and checked it out, and then Jack went over aftercare with me. I stood up, got dressed and said "What do I owe you?" "Nothing" he said, "Don't worry about it." "At least let me shake your hand." I said. "No thanks... we already shook hands. We did the devil's handshake" Jack said, to which the entire shop... customers included... broke into laughter.
We didn't talk about it for a few weeks, save for the awkward phone call the next day.
Jack - Did it bleed much during the night?
Frank - Yeah. I put a maxi pad in my underwear, but I sleep on my side and it must have flopped. My leg was all bloody.
Jack - Well, if you have any issues with the ring being too tight when you get an erection, let me know. I can fix that.
Frank - Ok cool.
Now we look back on it and laugh. Jack is no longer a piercer, and now I have a 6 gauge captive bead in there. This was just one of the funniest things that ever happened to me.