Firstly, a hello and welcome to who ever mite read this. Hopefully you will find it helpful and enjoyable?! So here goes...
At A Glance Author yumii Contact yumii@bme.anon When Five years ago Artist Sarah, I think?! It was over 5 years ago... sorry!! Studio Pulse Location Northampton, UK Just over 5 years ago now, I decided that getting a PA was the next step in my life and nothing or nobody was going to stop me!! It all started at a summer house party in Camden, when I got chatting to Jonny (a very good friend of mine now).
As you will all probably know at house parties the ques for the toilet becomes a mission and people strike up random conversations. In this situation people tend to comment on my tattoos and so did Jonny. There we was talking about my Japanese sleeves and the door for the toilet opens. Jonny says "we mite as well go in together?!" so not being shy I did and this is where the magic began... No not that!!
Jonny started to pee and as all men do, I looked down but to my sheer amazement I saw this gleaming piece of metal hanging from he's manhood. I was like "F**k me, what's that???" he just laughed and said "that sir, is Albert and he's my Prince!!" I wanted an Albert, I just had to have one.
So after our pit stop, we returned to the kitchen for some drinks but more importantly, so I could interrogate Jonny about he's Albert. I was so amazed by it because I'd always been a tattoo person (2 full sleeves, neck, knuckles, back, hips) and this was new ground to me.
He told me that he'd had it in for a couple of years and that he'd initially got it for sexual reasons but now it was part of who he was and he was happy that he'd had it done. He told me about the process of how it was performed, the pain during and after, it's benefits during sex but it's downs because some women where scared about having a "chunk of metal" inside them, as one of he's ex-girlfriends had told him... everyone has there own opinion I guess?! but all in all he felt like he was some what unique!!
I asked him if he'd mind showing my girlfriend, to which he just simply replied "Cool". So after 10-15mins we finally found her with our friends in the garden and I told them all about Jonny & Albert. When Jonny showed them there was two different reactions... "Ouch" from the men & "Oooo" from the women!! Ha ha ha... it was pretty funny.
Anyways, the party carried on to the early hours of the next day but all the time I was thinking about making a PA part of my life & believe me this did not stop, at work, in the bath, every time I used the toilet, eating breakfast, walking the dog... Getting a PA was set in stone in my mind and as with all my tattoos, once I get the idea I have to follow through with it.
So two weeks after meeting Jonny and Albert and much discussion with my girlfriend and friends I decided to take the plunge and get me an Albert of my own!!
I found out that my tattooist who I'd used for years did the PA piercing but I opted to use the same parlour that Jonny had used because he's looked good and he'd had no problems. Can I just point out that I'm very, very confident with my tattooist and his team but I'd seen how Jonnys had turned out and felt it was the rite way to go.
I got the number for the parlour from Jonny and booked for Wednesday that week... 6 days till I was a changed man forever!!
Honestly those 6 days seemed to take a lifetime, I just wanted it to be Wednesday. But sure enough Wednesday came, I met Jonny and off we went.
Got there 15mins early and as I was sitting down waiting, my stomach started to turn and my head was flooding with thoughts... will it be a tattoo pain or quick or numb or sharp etc... then all of a sudden and women appeared and said "are we ready then???" to which I just nervously nodded and followed her to a back room.
As she prepared some last bits, I was asked to drop my trousers and lay down on the bed. Then she told me how it was all going to happen and checked that I was totally sure I wanted to go through with it and I replied with a deep breath and nervous laugh "yea, f**k it!!" excellent was the reply I got. She could tell I nervous so she started to talk about my hip tattoos and then said "would you like me to tell you when I'm about to do it???" as I started to shake my head to say no, I felt... well it's kind of hard to describe, I'm literally sitting here trying to remember it!!
I guess it was a sharp push at first, then an uncomfortable feeling for a second or two but please, please, please don't be stopped by the thought of this, I'm just not very good with words. When people ask me now did it hurt, I say "well not really but it was a strange pain" of course it was how often is it that you have a needle put through your urethral opening?! It's a feeling in it's own rite I guess.
Anyways, as the blood started to arrive, I was cleaned up and I took first sight of my PA. Happy and PHEW come to mind. The lady told me my aftercare procedure and told me that I could now put my trousers back on but to do it carefully.
As I walked out Jonny just had this big grin on his face and said "welcome to the club kid" I just laughed.
The next morning was very weired for me though because I awoke to see congealed blood around my penis and I'd never seen this before, so I freaked a bit but once I'd gone for a pee and cleaned myself up, I could see there was nothing to worry about. Things were a bit awkward at first, cleaning, putting on underwear, sitting down to quick, sex but trust me my fiends, things get better and easier very quick and you'll start to love your PA... really!!
Well that's it but I hope this has helped in some way or you enjoyed the read?!
..Dedicated to Albert est July 2003...