Dad. This bloke wants a PA!

At A Glance Author Anxious Contact Anxious@bme.anon Artist Partick Studio London Piercing Clinic Location London

Today is the Wednesday after the Friday before and I'm still grinning!

I first saw a PA in a photo somewhere back in the 1980's and was instantly captivated. One Problem, The Idea of piercing filled me with complete, total and utter terror. Not just getting one myself. But, also, anyone else having one - I once passed out trying to help my sister put in one of her dainty little gold earrings!

Over the years I met other guys who had piercings, including PA's. I even had a boyfriend with one. Gradually, my phobia of other people's piercings subsided. However, the Idea of having one of my own seemed as far away as ever. I simply couldn't imagine my doing such a thing. I kept trying to remind myself that, as a gay man, I've done many things sexually over the years that many people would find difficult to imagine, if not anatomically impossible. But, no matter how much I wanted It, I was terrified of having a PA done.

The Idea would go away for a few years, then come back. Last year it came back and I decided on doing it. Tomorrow...... No, next week. Next week became next month, then next year............ Last Friday I woke up and said to myself 'DO IT!'

Over all these intervening years, One name kept popping up - Patrick Did he take some finding last Friday. I finally tracked him down to a Studio in Camberwell a few miles from my home here in London. I bunked off work early, went home had a nice cup of tea, showered, walked out of the house, got in my car and drove.... Then came the traffic! I was tense enough already, but add to that London's Walworth Road on a Friday afternoon (Do you remember Wacky Races on TV?). By the time I found myself driving past the studio's black painted shopfront, I was a mess. I found somewhere to park and smoked a cigarette as I walked back towards the place.

Outside I remember clumsily dodging two people standing in the doorway - I must have looked a nervous wreck by this point. Walking in, there was a young girl behind the counter. 'I want to talk to someone about having a PA', I gingerly said. 'Go for it' she replied, 'You'll never regret it'. 'DAD!' she yelled! 'THIS BLOKE WANTS A PA!'.

Patrick came in - He'd been one those two people outside. 'So you want a PA? What other piercings do you have?'. 'None', I replied. 'Its a good place to start' said Patrick, and told me that a PA had been his first piercing. He began running through the ups and the downs. He told me how it would increasesensitivity, but that I'd probably be 'pissing razor blades' for the next 7-10 days and so on. Along the way he also ran through a couple of amusing airport security stories. I'm sure he was trying to calm me down and let me make an informed decision. I don't know if he knew that, by this point, I was in a state of anally retentive, silent hysteria. 'Are you sure then' he asked. 'Yes', I replied. 'OK' he said. 'Lets do it'. After me filling in a couple of forms he showed me into a cubicle as his daughter shouted 'Good Luck'.

He asked me to lie down. 'Do you need my jeans down now', I asked. -What sort of a f***ing stupid question was that?! Patrick swabbed me down and showed me the needles etc. still in their sterile packages. He started looking for where to place the piercing. I was worried about the embarrassment of Pinky suddenly deciding that it was playtime. I needn't have worried. Pinky had decided to emigrate up into my navel. 'Will I squeal?', I asked. 'You can if you want' he replied. 'Right' he said. 'Sorry I'm shaking. I got blown up by a mine a couple of years ago, but I've never missed the spot yet!'. Well if that didn't inspire confidence, it certainly broke the ice! I didn't know whether to laugh, scream, cry, run down the street with my jeans round my ankles or what. I felt a small sting, nothing more. 'That's it. I've just got to put the ring in now'. I looked down.

You see. The thing about a piercing is, that there's this needle and I now discovered that, the one thing I really had a phobia about, was needles. My head began spinning - I nearly passed out.

I felt the ring going in more than the needle. No pain. Just a bit of pressure. 'Now', said Patrick 'This is where I do my rubber chicken impression'. He pulled a rubber glove over my dick. Securing the glove with surgical tape, he began running through the aftercare instructions. He'd put on a 2.5mm (10 gauge) ring and advised me that if I wanted to upsize it I could reasonably aim for a 4mm (6 gauge) over the next 6 months. He led me back to the reception - To the pieces of paper I'd left there along with my mind. I'm surprised that I hadn't left my wallet as well. The pieces of paper had the same said aftercare instructions and his emergency telephone number. He reassured me that, if there was a problem, I could call at any, time day or night. He wished me luck when I thanked him as I left.

Walking back to the car - which I found facing the wrong way in a one way street - I was walking on air. I've taken many a euphoria inducing chemical in my time, but this was the biggest high I've had in years! The sun was shining, The birds were singing. Hell. Camberwell even looked like a nice place! Driving back, it took nearly an hour to go less than two miles. Did I care?

At home, after a celebratory stiff drink. I told my ex, who still lives in the house. He'd been wondering why I'd come home early and been behaving so oddly all day. It took me a few hours until I dared look inside the rubber chicken but, eventually, I had to have a piss. Removing the now blood filled 'dressing', I sat on the pan and braced. Nothing! With the exception of all the blood, it was a perfectly normal piss. No pain, no stinging nor any razorblades for that matter. I can only assume that my urethra isn't that sensitive. I just knew that all those years of inserting foreign objects down my dick for fun would pay off one day! It was still bleeding, so I put a condom over it and went out for dinner with my ex and a friend. This was entertaining. Sitting in a 'nice' restaurant with all these other 'nice' people all having 'nice'' meals. Was I paranoid of an accident or what? It bled right through that evening. Before going to bed, I soaked my dick in a cup of boiled salted water, which rapidly ended up looking like a blood bath. I replaced the condom and put on several pairs of underwear just in case.

Sometime - about 4.00 am - I woke up, anxiously aware of having a hard on. I ignored it and went back to sleep. Waking later, I lay there for a while, very aware that all was not right. Either I had pissed myself or.... Eventually, I had the courage to pull back the bedclothes and discovered what I already knew -The condom had slipped. It looked like the scene of a massacre! I was soaked, the underwear was soaked, as were the sheets, the duvet cover and the duvet (comforter to you Americans out there), the mattress, the pillows, the walls! - How the f**k did I get blood on them? For some unknown reason I forgot the care instructions (piss after cleaning) so I then had to wait, still soaked, and drink several cups of coffee before cleaning myself up. The shower of course looked like a scene from Psycho (you know the one).

Since then it's been fine. No bleeding. No pain. Some people might say some 'discomfort'. More a tickling caused by the ring rubbing against my foreskin than anything else. It's certainly making the train ride to work more of an interesting experience.

It's easy to look back over the last few days and think that actually having the PA done was the biggest anti-climax of my life. The reality is far more complex. So. I was expecting pain - not something I enjoy, although some reading this may think otherwise. The real climax was conquering a fear, a sense of fulfilment, achieving a lifetime ambition and ending up with something that, I know, will be a source of personal pleasure for the rest of my life. For all you out there who take fright at the Idea of a PA, believe me. If I can do it so can you.

Now where can I get a Princes Wand? .........Anal piercing. Now that sounds interesting....... More about these when or if I get there.