This is a story of how retiring my nipple piercings actually helped me love and accept my body more. I do not want it to seem like I regret getting my nipples pierced, rather that it was part of a necessary journey towards self-acceptance for me. It all started when I was a senior in high school with my lobes, helix, nose and belly button pierced. My 18th birthday was looming and I wanted to do something radical—something "hardcore". I wanted to impress all my friends and have a sexy secret from strangers. Now, with the exception of my belly button, I had only pierced parts of my body I find to be the best looking parts. My parents were creeped out enough by my other piercings, so I decided to go for something non-visible in street clothes. Genital piercing seemed like too big a step, so my nipples were an obvious choice.
At A Glance Author Lily Contact Lily@bme.anon When Two years ago Artist Stephanie Studio Steve's Tattoo & Body Piercing Location Madison, WI I did plenty of research on BME about the risks of nipple piercing, looked through the galleries to find a good gauge/placement/jewelry type I liked, and read experiences to prepare myself. In my quest for "uniqueness" I chose vertical nipple piercings, and I decided plain old 14-ga steel barbells were what I wanted for jewelry. I called Steve's Tattoo and Body Piercing (Madison, WI) and made an appointment. As with all my other mods, they were very nice and helpful and could get me in almost right away. I made the appointment for after school on a Friday so my friend Sarah could drive me to the shop (I didn't have my driver's license yet) and I was set.
On the day of, I was really nervous, as I always am on the days I get pierced/tattooed. I had told my close friends what I was doing after school that day and as I left school I saw one of my friends whisper something to her boyfriend as I walked past and he yelled out "No, Lily, don't do it!!" and grabbed his chest with a pained expression on his face. He said it out of empathy for the pain rather than in a mean-spirited way, but it didn't make me any less nervous. Once I got to the shop, the regular piercing rigmarole began. I checked in, waited around for a minute or two, was called back and they drew the curtains around me while I sat on the table. I took off my t-shirt and bra (the most comfortable one I owned) and grabbed Sarah's hand. Stephanie, my piercer, gloved up, marked my nipples and checked with my on placement, then in went the needles! The first one was pretty painful, but it was nothing compared to the second one. I left bruises in Sarah's hand from her rings I was squeezing it so tight. I paid and left with sea salt, Provon soap, and aftercare instructions.
Since I had picked the coldest day of the year—it was 22 degrees F below zero—the walk to the car was interesting as my nipples quickly shrunk to the size and hardness of Skittles, gripping the fresh piercings rather unpleasantly. I made various funny faces as pain and heat crept across my chest.
When I got to Sarah's house the first thing I did was run into the bathroom and pull up my shirt. I was obsessed. My newly adorned boobs were pretty much the best thing I had ever seen. That night I left my shower curtain open while I showered so I could stare at my fun new piercings. I felt sexy and happy and accomplished. From that day on, aftercare was pretty uneventful and everyone was just as impressed as I had hoped they'd be.
The following fall, I made my way to college and the expected drunken debauchery of being a freshman began. My second weekend at school, I brought a football player home with me from a party. We were both so drunk we could barely stand, so after a few minutes of hooking up (making out and groping and the like, not sex), I was surprised to see him take something out of his mouth and ask "Is this yours?" To my shock and horror, he had removed one of my barbells with his tongue!! I set the jewelry on my nightstand and decided to take care of it in the morning. However, a few minutes later, he did it again!
I tried to go to the piercing shop in the town where I go to college but they aren't open on Sundays, so I waited until after classes on Monday to have my jewelry reinserted. Little did I know that nipple piercings actually close up quite a bit in two days. The reinsertion process was quite a bit more painful than the original piercing and I know some damage was done. Sadly, they started crusting again and never stopped.
Two weeks after the football player incident, I was wasted drunk at a party again and took another boy home. This boy was different, though because I actually liked him before the hook up and we have been together very happily since that night. He liked my piercings, but the whole subculture freaked him out a little. Anyway, our escapades weren't great for my unhappy little nips and they were getting worse.
When we went our separate ways for summer, I spent a lot of time bored in my room at home (when I wasn't at work, that is). On one such day, I started playing with the barbells in my nipples to see if I could get the balls off. It was quite a task, but I finally got them off. Out of some curious impulse, I slipped the barbells out. I went and looked at myself in the mirror and gasped. I had great tits! I never paid enough attention to them before they were pierced and now that they were "a la carte" so to speak, I could see them for what they really were—fabulous!
It's been over a year now since I took my piercings out and I've come to peace with many of my body image issues since then. Realizing that I found one part of my body to be attractive opened the door for me to find other parts of my body attractive. I no longer hate my feet or my cheeks or thighs or many other parts of me. I know I'm not perfect, but dammnit, I'm ok. I even had the courage to get a large tattoo of a lily on my back, which I had been planning on getting "once I was skinny". I've found out a lot about myself in the past three years. I guess it's a condition of being in your late teens and early twenties. My modifications, especially my retired nipple piercings, have helped me on the way by giving me an objective way to look at my body.