At A Glance Author Amanda Contact booksandknives@gmail.com IAM revolutionaerie When A year ago Artist Derek Studio Counter Culture Location Burlington, VT Squeeze your nipple really hard. Do it right now. I'm waiting.
Did you do it? It hurt, right? Yeah. Imagine a 12 gauge needle slicing through your pretty sensitive nipples. Imagine the noises you would make. Frightening.
When I graduated from high school in 2003, my ex-boyfriend's parents gave me a $50 American Express gift cheque. It went with me to one college, where I forgot about it, traveled up north to another college, and finally made it into my hands, when I remembered that I had $50 that I could spend on anything I wanted. My friend Derek (IAM: entropy), who worked at Counter Culture in Burlington, VT (which no longer exists, but it was the most amazing shop ever), offered to give me a piercing for free if I paid for the jewelery. He told me it was a birthday present.
If you know me, you know I am extremely indecisive. It took me a while to think of what I could possibly want. I went from septum to vertical bridge to horizontal bridge to septum to nipples to septum to nipples.... Finally, I asked my boyfriend Chad (IAM: Fergy) what he thought. He didn't think the bridge piercings would look good on me, but he approved whole-heartedly of the nipple piercings. For the next few weeks, I kept pinching my nipples at strange times (in line at the ATM, at work, at the grocery store) to remind myself what I was getting into and as a way to comfort myself. It was like saying, "See? That isn't too bad."
Oh, naivete.
I went to Counter Culture about two weeks before Chad was scheduled to arrive in Vermont from Iowa. Since I never wear a bra, Derek was able to ascertain what size my nipples were, etc., simply by looking at my boobs through my thin shirt. My nipples point skyward and sit closer to my armpits than my sternum, so he thought it would be best to pierce them vertically, and on a slight inward angle (like \ / ). I agreed. Then he told me that it would be best to pierce at a larger gauge, to which I nodded and said, "Yes, of course." Then he said, "I think 12 gauge would look pretty nice." I think I gave a queasy smile and asked to see a 12 gauge needle so I could prepare myself for the actual procedure. Instead, rather cleverly, he told me his friend was getting pierced at 0 gauge later that day, and showed me that needle. A 0 gauge needle is quite large compared to a 12 gauge needle. He said, "Your needles will be a lot smaller than this one. A LOT smaller." So I left the shop that day, slightly scared shitless, but excited about having shiny nipples.
In a possibly related tangent, soon after Chad arrived, we drove to Toronto for BMEFest 2004. There, I saw piercings that I never would have imagined having myself. After a day in the hot sun, feeling rather unmodified, I felt up to the challenge of being pierced with a 12 gauge needle.
Two days after I got back to Burlington from BMEFest, I went to Counter Culture, Chad in tow, American Express gift cheque in my pocket, and tummy full. I walked up the flight of stairs into the shop. I was really, really nervous. I was trying to play it off like I wasn't, but apparently I wasn't too convincing. Derek was just finishing getting everything ready, so he said it would be a few minutes. I sat in the waiting area, shaking my foot, fixing my shoelaces, basically fidgeting the hell out of myself. Chad held my hand and told me it would be okay, and while I knew this was true, I was still worried.
For several weeks prior, Derek and I had been joking around about him seeing my boobs, and really, this was the thing I was most nervous about. I am extremely self-conscious and getting naked from the waist down in front of one of my friends seemed really hard. Derek came over to me and asked if his friend, Brandan (IAM: BrandanK), could watch the procedure. At this point, I had scared myself so badly that it didn't even matter. We all (Chad, Derek, Brandan, and me) walked into Derek's private piercing room, and Derek shut the door.
I took off my shirt and remained standing there in my bra (strangely, I was wearing one that day). I was quite cold. A minute or so later, Derek calmly said, "Uhh... I need to see your nipples if we're going to do this." I laughed weakly, and, humor being a useful coping mechanism, pretended to be a stripper for a moment. I whipped off my bra and flung it across the room, then did a little dance, while the boys commented on how they didn't know entertainment was included with the price of admission. Derek had already laid everything out (all autoclaved to perfection) and I stood up straight for him while he got up close and personal with my nipples. When the cleaning was over and the placement was just right (and Derek is a perfectionist), I hopped up on the padded exam table. That was when I realized that on that sheet of surgical paper lay two 12 gauge needles, both of which were destined for my pink nipple flesh. I got very scared, and grabbed Chad's hand. He and Derek both comforted me, saying that if Derek can scalpel his own apadrayva, then I can handle this. I squeezed Chad's hand, Derek lubed up the needle with Technicare, and...
I screamed louder than I think I have ever screamed in my life. It was completely involuntary. Some sort of primal pain reaction. I looked down at the needle that was stuck into my nipple and said, "Derek, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you." He knew I didn't really hate him.
This is when I became the "client from Hell". As soon as Derek had the jewelry into my right nipple, I started squirming, cursing, I even went so far as to smack Derek in the arm. Yes, I know, the client from Hell. He looked me straight in the eye and then told me to hold Chad's hand. After a few more minutes of me freaking out, Chad freaking out, and Derek wanting to kill me, Derek tricked me. He said, "Okay, Amanda, three deep breaths. On the third exhale, I'm going to do it. One. Two." He never got to three because in went the needle, and out went another primal scream. Goddamn. It hurt like a bitch.
Derek slid the second 12 gauge curved barbell into my left nipple, and the pain started to subside, momentarily. I told Derek about six times that I didn't really hate him, and he said that he knew. You really can't hate anyone for causing you pain when you are paying for it.
I paid for the jewelry, gave Derek a tip, and then Chad and I went out for some Italian food, because I was so hungry I wanted to die. During dinner, my nipples became extremely sore. I'm guessing this is because I was leaning forward to eat, causing more blood to rush to the area.
For healing, I used sea salt mixed with distilled water (my preferred healing method). Unfortunately, the piercings only lasted about 10 months. My body definitely did not like it. My piercings never fully healed. They were crusty all the time, leaked white pus, and would occasionally bleed, almost a year after the procedure. I have minimal scarring, practically none at all. Although having my nipples pierced did not work out for me, I would tell someone who wanted to have theirs pierced that It makes your nipples very sensitive. This can be pleasurable, but after a while, I found it to be too much.
Even though Counter Culture in Burlington, VT, is no longer in business, Derek is the best piercer I have ever been to. His bedside manner leaves nothing to be desired, and he's a great person.