It was my senior year of high school, around Christmastime; my serious boyfriend of almost 4 years broke up with me. Not just broke up, ripped out my heart and crushed it. We had been high school sweethearts, he was my first serious boyfriend and we were made for each other. I was devastated and completely lost after, it was just the beginning of a very bad time. I didn't know how to be myself without him, I thought my life was over, and then I started a new one. A severely self destructive few months followed.
At A Glance Author Kim Contact Kim@bme.anon When Six months ago Studio Spiderbite Location Manchester, New Hampshire My 18th birthday came 6 months later, and by then me and my ex had been talking again for maybe a month, but I had given up on trying to start things with him again. I was beginning to reclaim my shattered life, slowly putting pieces back together. I had graduated, escaped death, and was now on good terms with the person who I loved more than anything in the universe. Things were getting better.
Ever since I was 15 I have wanted to get my nipples pierced, but my boyfriend hadn't wanted me to do it. In my little New Hampshire town I had never met a female with it done, even though a few of my guy friends had theirs done. I was already one of the only girls with my ear gauged. So, 5 days after I turned 18 I finally faced my nervousness and fear and went to do it, bringing my ex with me for moral support. Now that he wasn't my boyfriend he had no problems with another guy seeing me topless. During the drive down I was shaking with nervousness and excitement, I had no idea what to expect. Would I actually go through with it? All my life I had been saying I would do things, and hadn't, but this was the new me and I was finally going to.
I sat on the couch in the waiting room, gripping my ex's hand. I was thinking that maybe I should have eaten something that day, but it was too late to do anything about the disgusting feeling in my stomach. I think I was really talkative, trying to keep my mind off the fact that I was about to have needles shoved through very sensitive spots on my body. I had decided to do both at the same visit, get it over with. And I figured that one nipple being hard all the time would look a little silly. My ex had no opinion on the subject, I think he was a little nervous about it too. He promised he would hold my hand, and I could hurt him I needed to. There was a little glimmer of hope in me about us, even though at the time I was seeing someone else, someone who was out of town for 3 weeks and didn't know that I was doing this. Nothing serious, just someone who helped me get through a lot.
After sitting there for what seemed like forever, but finally I got into the little room. Sitting on the examination table on the crinkly paper with my shirt off I was freezing but somehow I managed not to jump when the piercer put the clamp on (I was still squeezing my ex's hand), then watched as the needle slid through. It hurt; I'll admit it, but not as bad as I thought. I am a pansy when it comes to pain, I will tolerate when I have to, but I do not enjoy it. Unfortunately, nobody told me that the second one hurts more than the first, and I made the mistake of watching it again, which didn't help. The piercer told me that they had a contest of who could sound most like a mouse, I won. I was thanking god that I didn't scream, but my ex did have nail marks on his hand. I had to lay down after, drink a little water, but I think that was mostly from the adrenaline rush leaving my body. I had turned the same shade of grey that I did when I had my belly button done 3 years earlier. It is not a pretty color. Then I drove home, after my ex got his cartilage and tragus done, a birthday present from me (his is the day after mine).
It has been about 5 months. My nipples are still healing, and I absolutely love them. Me and my ex are back together, for good this time, and he loves them too, well, he seems to enjoy them. It was a great decision and I am so happy and proud that I went through with it. I am clean, pretty much sober and very happy. My piercings will always be symbolic of my new start, and the new me.