At A Glance Author Ursula Contact Ursula@bme.anon When Five years ago Artist I cannot remember Studio withheld for privacy Location the greater Chicago area (south subs) Let me first say that I have always been tiny in comparison to those around me, at 21 I am five feet tall (but do NOT take a tape measure to me or I'll slug you (hehe), cause I AM five feet tall dammit) and about 95 lbs, give or take. I have always been the smallest of everyone I have known, growing up that remained ever true. So as I remained somewhat stationary in size, all those I knew around me (girls most notably) grew, taller, fuller, and larger breasted, leaving me feeling stunted. In my first year of high school while my friends had nice under wire bras ranging from A-D I could barely fill an A cup, if even that. I felt inadequate, though being only fifteen at the time sounds trite, but very real for me at the time. I decided that if I couldn't have larger breasts (though what larger means I cannot even imagine now) then I would decorate them. I had never had any piercings other than my ears (which were done at the mall with the dreaded gun when I was ten and then twelve) but I just had to have my nipples pierced. There was no question; they weren't big enough so they needed decorations to make them satisfactory to myself. I didn't even know anything about body modification at the time.
A friend and her boyfriend took me to the studio on my vacation to Chi-Town, along with a couple other people that I can almost recall. It was two weeks before my sixteenth birthday, I was so nervous, but my friend, sensing this I guess, just brought out a big pipe to smoke from and all was well, and we went to the studio. Perhaps because I'd never been in a tattoo/piercing facility, or perhaps because I was high out of my mind (sorry), nothing about it bothered me much. The power was out when we got there, and after speaking to the operators of the facility they told me I could either wait to get pierced in private, or do it in the common area/waiting room. As I know now this type of action is unacceptable in a professional studio, I did not at the time, and was too stoned (pardon) to really concern myself, which really livened up most of the people in the waiting room, being mostly men (or boys). Fortunately the power came back on, and my friend came with me into a private room in which to be pierced. Now before I rant, because I am about to, this establishment that I went to was very (well almost) professional, clean, sterile and recommended. However, I do not, even though I love my piercings and always will, condone the fact that they were willing to pierce (and maybe tattoo I don't know) an underage girl (under the influence of marijuana and other substances) without any request of identification. My piercer did inquire of my age, to which I told him I was sixteen, yet he asked for no proof of age (16 isn't proper age anyhow), but I do not believe the law in Illinois and the greater Chicago area condones youths of such age to be pierced or tattooed without consent of parent or guardian. I also know I am not the only person to be pierced at this same facility being underage, as I have read experiences here on BME regarding this same establishment. They were all very kind understanding and quite professional, so I could have nothing bad to say about them (why I won't name the establishment). I do "\Ãw€ë not believe that the established laws on the books are entirely correct in preventing minors from aquiring body mods, this is an extremely grey area for many, but I do believe that respectable practicing establishments should adhere to the laws in effect...
...In any case before my little rant, so we went to the room, where I removed my shirt and bra (I think I was wearing one) and my piercer proceeded to look over my nipples and mark the area to be pierced through, he was very thorough to make sure the holes would match up and that each nipple would be even (because my itty bitty tittys are not). After making sure that I was satisfied with the placement of each of the markings he placed the clamp on my left nipple (which hurt more than I thought it would) and told me to take three breaths and on the third exhale he inserted the needle. I thought I would pass out, I nearly did, after seeing the needle through my nipple (it dwarfed my breast) and I became so very dizzy, so he, and my dear friend laid me down on the table to calm. He pulled the ring through. Then the clamp was placed on my right nipple, and the needle through with no hesitation other then a deep breath....and damn it hurt so much more then the first one, I am just glad I had someone's hand to squeeze the hell out of. Then I was done, pierced, my nipples were complete. The rings through my nipples were 14 gauge (in my opinion rather large for my size, not the gauge but size of the rings, but healed very well) and I kept them in for a year and a half before I changed them. Eventually I went smaller, to a 16-gauge cbr, and then to a very small 18-gauge cbr in each. For over a year I removed them completely, but put them back in for fear they would heal over and I would lose my beloved nipple piercings forever.
I still keep my rings, and baby them, though they are well healed after five years, when I look down I can't but smile that I was that strong to have them done to begin with, let alone deal with the crap I've been through with my family about them. My mum (I'm not from the UK I just can't help pronouncing it mum) is really great about it, hell, she got my first two tattoos as my 18th birthday present (though I should have put more thought into those...) she just likes when they aren't too noticeable through my clothing when the family is around (since I HATE bras). My dad...he did smack me a bit when he found out after a year and a half. But we all choose our own path after all. Not all of my family accepts the fact that I have my nipples pierced, but many do, and tattoos, piercings and other mods have come to be accepted over time...I do stress time...within my family and those very close to it, and not just myself but many others within the group of those that I love most.
And now, five years after the fact, I still love those bits of metal running through my nipples. I used to think that one day I would get implants so my breasts would be "normal" or larger, the same shape and size even, but now those thoughts are all but a memory. I don't even know what bra size I am anymore, as I haven't worn a bra for over two years (perhaps more). If anything having them pierced, as rash and hasty as it was, was one of the best things I did for myself and my self-image. And at 21, I still cherish them, and the man who pierced me, for had I not done it then, I don't know if I ever would have, or ever come to terms with being able to look in the mirror and love the image that looks out at me, well, at least my tits, misshapen and lopsided as they are. I can't even imagine looking at myself without my rings; the one in the mirror appears foreign without them, as I would be foreign to myself without my tattoos, or hair, or fingers. Now, every bit of metal (or other jewelry or ink) through my body is not just a decoration or a passing phase, it is ingrained into myself and that person I have come to love as myself. There is nothing more exhilarating then taking your self-image into your own hands.
And I am looking to get a triangle soon...hopefully I will have more experiences to share.