A Positive End in a Simple Way
Right now, I'm sitting with a cup of saline turned over my stomach, and I'm sure you know why. It is, indeed, because of fresh navel piercings. Yeah, piercings. Plural. But, since my aim here is to say something not often said, I'm not going to bore you with the "OMG ITS SO CUTE" aspect of this story. (Although, to be fair, it does suit me well.)
This all started quite some time ago with my teeny bopper obsession with the little sparklies hanging from the belly buttons of pop princesses, but it became so much more. I saw how perfectly they sat on toned stomachs, and I was envious. I was thirteen. I was flat as a board, with the typical pubescent tummy that everyone has. But it became so much more to me. I stared at those pictures of famous girls. The more I looked at them, the more I hated that they didn't look like me. I became delusional. A mixture of being tortured by junior high kids (everything from verbal to serious physical abuse) and my own withdrawl into the world of celebrity bodies sent me reeling into cycles of depression, anorexia(and later on, bulimia), and self harm through cutting. I was tiny, but I was so blinded that I didn't see it. Well, YEARS later, a friend of mine (my only friend at the time) spoke up for me to my mom, who immediately pulled me out of the horrible environment of my snobby private school. I completely changed my surroundings and my environment. I went through relapses, therapy sessions, fights with family and friends. For years, I would become inconsolably depressed if I noticed that I had gained two pounds. I weighed myself every day, and generally made myself miserable.
Now, though, I look at those pictures of celebrity women and see the truth. Many of them have no more self confidence than I did back then. They are so over groomed, under fed, and over worked that they look sickly and fake. I looked at myself and saw a naturally very trim, but still shapely woman. I accepted the curve of my hips, the softness and gentle flow of my shape. I began to love my pale skin, my blonde hair, and my grey eyes. I started to appreciate the way my body looks. And when I did, I also began to notice that other people appreciate it to. Especially when my body was moving onstage at a dance club, which earned me cat calls from males and green eyes from most females. But the more I started to love my body, the more true to myself I was able to be. My entire life turned around, and I became the person I had always dreamed to be in terms of personality. And when that happened, seeing the beauty in my own body followed suit. But, there was one thing left. The little sparkle hanging from the navel.
I didn't get the piercers name, and he wasn't quite as clean as I hoped he'd be. I definitely don't recommend the studio, as they just have a negative vibe. Unless of course you like to be stereotyped for getting a navel ring. Then by all means, go there. The procedure was the usual. Mark, clamp, pierce. But, I elected to get my standard and Inverse navel done at the same time. I've always found it more beautiful than just having the standard done, and it's fitting, since the first woman I ever saw in person with navel rings had both done the same way. But I walked out of that shop with more than just metal in my body and a smile on my face. I left with the reassurance that I had finally overcome bad experiences and a tough coming of age. It was my final declaration that I had grown into myself.
The healing is going well. I salt soak one a day, clean it with a gentle dove soap in the shower once a day, and leave it alone. It's been a week and it looks great. Very few crusties, minimal lymph, and I only notice the piercings if I bump them or bend oddly. Sleeping hasn't been problematic, but that might be helped by the fact that I'm a bit of an insomniac and don't sleep much.
Honestly, I couldn't care less what anyone says about my piercings being bland or boring. To me they are a victory over my past, my predators, and my own mind. These pieces of metal celebrate the woman I have grown to be. And you can guarantee that this summer, I will show off these piercings on a not totally perfect tummy. Along with my pale skin, bubble butt, blonde hair, grey eyes, and all the little pieces of myself that I have finally come to see not as deformities, but as beautiful parts of a beautiful whole.
Disclaimer: The experience above was submitted by a BME reader and has not
been edited. We can not guarantee that the experience is accurate, truthful,
or contains valid or even safe advice. We strongly urge you to use BME and
other resources to educate yourself so you can make safe informed decisions.
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