it really does take alot outta ya!

At A Glance Author Jeff Contact Jeff@bme.anon Artist Jasin Studio Bad Seed Location Portland, Maine

okay, here it goes. i had wanted to get my tongue pierced for quite awhile. it was the very first piercing i had considered. i had a bunch of which discouraged me for awhile, but soon i grew tired of my single pierced (nipple) existence. i decided that i was going to do it anyway, no matter what any one else said would happen.

i started to call around to some of the better known and more respected shops where i lived, since my normal piercer stopped doing tongues because of the "danger behind them". okay, whatever. so after calling around, i decided on Bad Seed, and Jasin. Hell, it was a couple hours away, but i was going to be in town anyway, to see the Mighty Mighty Bosstones!

So i drove down with my significant other, checked the place out the day before, and i talked to him for awhile, looked at his portfolio, and felt generally comfortable in the place, so i decided to get it done promptly the next morning. So the concert rocked, i got really drunk, hella stoned, and passed out once we got back to our room. When i woke up the next day, i realized that i missed his opening by a couple hours. So i decided to get dressed and go out to lunch, a last supper of sorts. we went to Pizza Hut (my FAVORITE restaurant) and i ate my very favorite food: stuffed crust cheese pizza. MMMMMMmmm. So we finished, got up to leave when i was hit with what i was about to do. I was going to pay a guy i barely knew to take a needle and jam it through my tender tongue! this wasn't just a nipple, this was my tongue! i use it all the time! so i got sick and vomited up all of my lunch. so much for my filling last supper......:)

We finally got there and he was bitching to some woman over the phone about getting pierced there. i guess the problem was that he wouldn't pierce her clit hood because it is illegal in Maine. Well i guess that's a good sign that he wont break the law for a few bucks i thought. He slammed down the phone, looked up at us and said " you ever want to just grab some one and wring their neck?!? Some people are so FUCKING IGNORANT!!!!" hmmmm....maybe this isn't such a good idea...

he remembered me and took me right into his "office". i filled out the paperwork and sowed my id's. he looked at my tongue, shined the light on it to make sure no veins were in the way, then made me rinse with the really gross yellow listerine. i spit and he motioned me to the little bench and i sat down. he told me all about the dangers of having it done, like permanent speech impediment, etc. etc...... he said none of "that shit ever happens, but its good business to tell you about it." it was at that point that he started to remind me of Fred Durst from the Limp Bizkit. He put on some death metal and said "lets get down to business," as he pulled on his first pair of gloves.

he already had the needle and everything out. he asked me to stick out my tongue as far as possible, stuck the clamps on, marked a spot, asked if that looked good, "sshhhuuurrreeee" i said. "cool" he said as he told me that he was just going to stick it in, no count down nothing......BOOM! boy, that didn't suck as much as i thought it would. he slipped the barbell in, and i was done. i looked at it in the mirror, and he told me all about the care and such....but i felt so high, like the endorphins had brought back the THC and alcohol back from last night and i felt like i was going to pass out. he suddenly asked if i was all right, because i guess i turned white and the next thing i knew i was laying down on the bench. My girlfriend asked if i was all right, to which i replied "mmm chust chllin'" ( I'm just chilling) soon afterward i felt better. I paid him, tipped him and left to get the necessary products (liserine, etc..).

the swelling wasn't tooo bad the next day and within a week it was gone totally. but it still hurt. a month later, i should have changed the barbell, but i decided that sense it was slanted towards the back of my mouth, and i hadn't bitten down on it yet that i didn't need to. now three months later, i love playing with it and I'm totally glad i got it done.

i recommend it to anyone who doesn't have to talk allot in their life for a couple days or for anyone who doesn't have the balls to pierce below the belt, cause it can be a good sex tool as well (wink wink). email me if you have a question. Oh yeah! go to Jasin at Bad Seed 574 Congress Street Portland Maine for all your bod mod needs. he is the shit!!!!!

-peace out dudes-