This is the story of how I learned that piercings have meaning. It was a process.
At A Glance Author cnjrtom Contact cnjrtom@bme.anon When N/A Artist Me Studio My bathroom Location Georgia I had my ears pierced just before my 30th birthday. For a woman that's kind of late not to have had your ears pierced at least once, but the fact that I was turning 30 had nothing to do with my decision. Or maybe it did, subconsciously. I also had mono at the time. I was out of work for 6 weeks with mono. It was horrible. I slept almost 24-7 for about 4 weeks and the last two weeks I gradually built up my strength to do more and more. It was during those last two weeks that I got my ears pierced. At the time, I didn't know better than to go to the mall. Actually, I didn't have any problems with the piercing or healing. So, if you're looking for a piercing gun nightmare story, sorry! I will say there was nothing enjoyable or meaningful about it, and I would learn later that those things were possible with a piercing experience.
I had been in a lesbian relationship for 10 years as of 2005. I had had my ears pierced about a year earlier. Suddenly, the woman I had planned to spend my life with broke up with me. And it really was sudden. It was horrible. Everything was out of control. We owned the house together so we continued to live together at the time, but we lived separate lives and when we spent time together we related as long-time friends instead of lovers. It was during the next few months that I discovered stretching. I can't even remember where I first saw it but I became very interested in it and after some research on the internet, I ordered a set of tapers that would take me from 18 to 00. I started stretching and loved it. My former girlfriend/current roommate couldn't say anything about it because she'd broken up with me, and I expected her to react negatively. This was something I could control, it was me taking control of one little tiny part of my life and body. My girlfr iend didn't have a bad reaction at all, but I kept doing it. I wasn't doing it to freak her out, I was doing it for myself. I'm not going to say that stretching my piercings brought me through that tough time, but it was something to look forward to. My girlfriend and I eventually got back together, after a lot of therapy and a lot of mistakes. We ended up having a commitment ceremony on our 11th anniversary together. Now we're going strong and better than before. My girl got interested in stretching too, and now it's something we share. We shop for jewelry together and when it comes, it's like Christmas for both of us.
When I got my first piercings up to 6 gauge in each ear, I decided I wanted another smaller piercing in my left ear. I was smart enough now to know not to let some mall goofus with a gun do it. My wife still doesn't quite get what's wrong with a gun, but I'm giving her daily lectures explaining it. Well, I have a high tolerance for pain and didn't see paying a bunch of money to get a piercer to do my ear lobe, so I decided to do it myself. I've read stories about people piercing their own septum on BME before, so I figured a lobe couldn't be that bad. I ordered some individually sterilized 14 gauge needles from a piercing supplier and 2 days later they came. Damn those things looked sharp, but I knew that was the key to less pain and greater success. Within 2 hours of getting them, I was into the bathroom with my needles and my jewelry, a tiny captive bead ring that I had actually gotten free with a different order. I did a test fit with the ring, no bead, and my wife marked my ear with a fine point Sharpie. She wouldn't watch so I went into the bathroom myself and in the magnifying mirror, lined up the needle with the hole and pushed. I didn't feel anything... that's what's great about a sharp edge! I couldn't believe I was pushing a needle through my ear, but I kept pushing and tried to think more about what I was doing and not being outside myself looking down. It made a slightly sickening popping sound when the needle point came out the back, but that was the worst par. I pushed it all the way through and laid the needle down. But I couldn't get the jewelry to go all the way through. I spent a good 10 minutes pushing and pulling and couldn't get this stupid 16 gauge needle through a 14 gauge hole. It wouldn't come out the back! I knew I'd have to put the needle through again, put the end of the ring in the hollow needle's end, and get it through that way. If the prospect of pushing a needle through your earlobe isn't bad eno ugh, pushing a sharp needle through the bleeding and slightly swelling hole you just made in your earlobe is worse. I didn't want to slice a hunk out of the side of the hole I'd just pierced. But you gotta do what you gotta do, so I stuck it in there. It came out the other side, thankfully. Another few seconds of fitting the ring into the needle's hole, a little push, and bam! It was done. I was broken out in a cold sweat, standing in front of a pile of bloody toilet tissue. I took a deep breathe, clicked the ball into place, and admired my handiwork.
There's something great about doing something you aren't sure you're going to be able to do. Something about conquering pain. Granted, it was just an earlobe and it only hurt slightly later, but fear is about the unknown, and I didn't know until it was over that it wouldn't be excruciating and I wouldn't walk out of there with a maimed ear. It helped too that my wife thought I was INSANE to even think about piercing my own ear. That made me feel more courageous. This piercing experience was meaningful. It was me taking control, like I did when I started stretching. But more, bigger. I'll never be someone with a lot of piercings. I want to fit in too much to get facial piercings, and nobody's going near my nipples or genitals. When I say I want to fit in, I don't mean to imply that I do fit in. I'm not brave enough to stand out too much. Not yet anyway. Actually, I would like a septum piercing but I'd keep a retainer in it and it would really be just for me. So, I'll never be someone who stands out as a piercing aficionado, but I do think I have an inkling of how you could become addicted, and what kind of meaning each piercing could have to those who own them.