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branded

Ok, well I'd been considering a brand for some time but had been a bit cautious as I have keloid skin and get large scars easily. I know that's sort of the point, but in my previous experience with cuttings, I have one particularly large scar on my left arm that has been uncomfortable, bordering on painful since I did it in May of 1999. I'd seen web based videos of cautery brandings being performed, but they all tend to be close up views, and (maybe this is just me) it would be cool to see a facial expression in ... read more

The Feeling of Electricity

After much deliberation, I decided to get a branding. I went back and forth quite a bit. Things of a permanent nature scare me to death. From marriage to tattoos. But the desire to feel that heat across my skin was too great to ignore. Doug, an amazing artist, worked diligently creating the perfect star for me. Back and forth on the design I went. Each time Doug would trudge to the back of the studio with his pencils creating another design. And then he would trudge back to me and hand me another star. I decided, finally, on an ... read more

My Best Brand

At the time that I did my first major brand I didn't know that other people were also embarking upon this course of body mod, I was the only person I knew who burnt themselves with anything deliberately, let alone with the forethought needed to create a specific design, as I was about to do. My weapon of choice was ciggarettes, namely roll-ups, which have a distinct disadvantage when compared with tailor-mades if you are going to use them for this purpose, this is because the temperature of the cherry is distinctly lower than that of a tailor-made, which means ... read more

Cigarettes: they cause more than cancer!

All right, I know what you're thinking; 'aw man, not another Toad story, this chicks MESSED UP!' And its sort of true.. if you just read the experiences I submit to BME you would think I had no common sense about me. But I have some, enough to know that when I start out on a 'mission of mod' I usually take horrible unnecessary risks, and I don't recommend any one going this route, but people do, and I happen to be a person, so I make mistakes. Quite a few of them really, when I think about it. But ... read more

Blood & Tears

I cried. I really really cried. It was the first time I'd truly cried in years. I just couldn't hold it back anymore. Cutting my star was the most emotional experience of my short life. I'd needed it for so long but I never realized how badly I needed it until that night in September. I'd had a small obsession with stars for a few years before this; I drew them everywhere. People used to ask me why but I knew that they couldn't know. The stars cleared my mind and allowed me think about what really mattered. Each one ... read more

The fine lines between pleasure and pain

I am one of the few lucky people that have found their soul mate, or partner in life, at an early age. This experience is about our experience with scarification. Both of us have a long and emotional past with scars so it wasn't exactly something new to us. Yet what we discovered was something so wonderful (perhaps too wonderful) that I almost feel bad for recommending it. We had dabbled with ink scarification before, never truly being successful; they would be beautiful until the scab fell off and left nothing but a faint scar. A friend of mine actually ... read more

The Art Form of Cuttings in My Eyes

When I started doing cuttings on myself, I thought that it was just self mutilation. Through BME and similar sites I now appreciate it for the art form that it can be and the skill that is involved in doing a cutting correctly. Recently my life has become so stressful that I go into extreme depressions because I don't know how to deal with what is happening. I have been fascinated by self mutilation before because I could not understand how or why someone would purposely hurt themselves. So, I tried it. I took a kitchen knife, sharpened it and ... read more

Min första scarification

Till att börja med ska jag väl egentligen utfärda en VARNING här.Scarifications ska naturligtvis inte utföras av lekmän, eftersom detta kan medföra blodförgiftning och andra farliga komplikationer. Jag och min storebror Matthias är båda två entusiaster av bodymod genren, vi har båda två tatueringar och piercings sedan tidigare.Och vi är båda dagliga besökare här på BME.Men nu var det alltså ett steg längre som jag ville gå, jag ville ha en scarification, en inskuren sådan. För ungefär en vecka sedan började jag på att fundera över hur smärtsamt det egentligen kunde vara att göra en scarification.Jag och Matthias började förundersökningen ... read more

a cutting between my breasts

It had been going on for a while, this light obsession of mine with cutting. I have been a self-mutilator for some time now. I believe it comes deep within me; this need for pain. But I hated the scars, not making them, but the ugly colour they took on; after a month or two, or years. My legs are horrible, filled with areas of scars, straight long lines, asymmetrically placed. As my body is beautiful to me, I wanted beauty to be printed on its skin. So I decided to make a piece of art instead. It sounds all ... read more

third eye star...

About six months ago I decided that I wanted a scarification project. So I started with just some simple research. I asked around to some friends who has scars to find out what they did, how they performed the task, what they did to heal it up, how they were able to build the nerve to cut them self. These were all things I had to find answers to myself. I did some more research on it. I realized that I had gotten into more than I expected. So I decided maybe I should have someone cut for me. But ... read more

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