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Wanted them. Got them.

A little bit of history might be helpful here. Since I was about eighteen, I'd wanted to receive a brand. I always had a bit of a problem with burns, though. I suppose it's something subconscious, like when I was two and pulled a pitcher of boiling tea over on my right arm and lost a bit of flesh. My whole forearm was scarred up pretty badly until I was about five or six when it started to fade. A little bit of it is still visible, but most of it is covered by tattoos. I think the first brand ... read more

Understanding in a Car Crash

You probably didn't know (in fact, I'm sure you didn't) but I've been a cutter for the last three years or so. I never really thought that I was "bad". I'd seen friends with line after line of self-inflicted cuts up their arms; I'd read that angsty teenage poetry about sliding a razor across your wrist and watching the crimson blood splash on the bathroom floor. Neither of those were me, but still, I cut. It started right before my senior year of high school. Towards the end of the semester, a girl in our class was killed in a ... read more

The story of my broken heart...

First, let me say that I have extensive experience with cutting, having been a person who has participated in scarification for many years. This is not an experience you should attempt to replicate, because I could have paid very dearly for this experience. This is the story of my broken heart.... When I was a much younger, more naive girl I began cutting, at first looking for some release, and then for the beauty of the scars. I was perhaps fourteen when this particular saga began and seventeen when it ended. The first incarnation of the six-inch long heart scar ... read more

Secret Scar

I was 20 when I did my first, and only, so far, scarification. At that time I didn't even know what I was doing, much less that it had a name or that other people did it. I was just doing it cause it felt right. I felt I needed to make a permanent mark to myself to show how far I had come, to show myself I had survived. The pain from the knife was nothing compared to the pain behind the symbol I was carving. In a way, the knife felt good against my skin, it felt almost ... read more

Pretty Scars

I'm Kitty, 15 years old, not quite average, you might say. I consider myself an individual, as I seem to think in a different way to my peers, I seem to have different values to them (loyalty over self-preservation for example). I've always been attracted to the "alternative" side of society. The people who don't quite fit in. Like me. I've never quite fit in, jumping back and forth between the "punk" and "goth" and just plain "misunderstood outcasts" of my area and school... Anyways, back to the subject of body modification... I don't have many piercings, as my mother ... read more

Gargoyle Wings

On July 16th I went to Austin to have my wings cut into my back. I chose this particular medium because I wanted wings but its common to see people with tattooed wings and I thought that scarification would be a good alternate to make my wings a little bit different than everyone else's. I used BME Zine to research scarification and found that many people write experiences on this website but most of then are home scarifications and I didn't feel that I would be able to relate to there experiences because I would only have this done in ... read more

Devotion to Linkin Park

Warning: What I did below is unsafe, and dangerous. If you want to have a scarification done, I strongly suggest either a. using nice clean tools or b. getting it done by a professional. Please do not copy my exact movements. The way that I handled this was stupid and I could of really hurt myself. I was lucky, you may not be. As I type this, I look down at my newly carved Linkin Park symbol which is visible on my pale foot. Before I go into detail on how I did my carving, I think I should tell ... read more

Fear

I have been cutting for about 4 months. All of which resulted from the constant 'fat' jokes, 'perfectness' referalls, and prolonged issues with school. I tried piercing as a way to rid myself of such negative feelings. But, my school made me take them out. That is when a friend of mine told me about her cutting. I decided that there is nothing the school can do about this.. they will never know. My arms would be too obvious. I chose my right leg. It has scars that show that I got rid of some of the pain, but it ... read more

Taking Further Steps

After reading Shannon Larratt's fantastic article entitled Shooting the Messenger: Why it's important to let young people cut, I took a step back into myself and looked into why I did it myself. Three bars, meaning Mind, Body, and Soul-- these meant a lot to me at the time. It was there where I felt this foundation was solid, and the only thing I could do was go forward. I couldn't jump, so I suppose, scalpel in the hand of someone I still think fondly of even now-- I had to crawl. "It was the most intense thing in my ... read more

sisterhood by fire

After months of trying to coordinate a time that worked for all of us, we finally had a date set. There were four of us: our crew of badass ladies, and we were all going separate ways after years of being together and living communally. We needed something to mark the occasion, a ritual for us all to commemorate the good, the bad and the everything in between we had all lived through together in the past five years. We decided to have a strike branding ritual. We showed up at Passage and Blair had booked us enough time to ... read more

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