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A mark in the flesh, like a mark in my soul.

Well to start, I have to say I'm defiantly NOT a cutter... now like every story there's a beginning a middle and an end. My beginning starts about 8 months ago. My girlfriend and I had finally renounced for the last time, ending a long drawn-out break up, which lasted two years. It was honestly one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. I'm not a "feeling sorry for myself" kind of guy. I often don't have time to worry about the bad things I move on very easily. This time I couldn't. As I move on to the ... read more

Young Cutting

I find it strange that I am only 16 and writing about my experience of being a cutter. So young and already finding comfort through self-injury. I will start by telling what others have already told. That it is an escape, a way of calming down or blacking out. Some even as far to the point that they do not know that they are doing it until it is done. I am not one of those people. I find no escape, no calm, nothing like the above. I find clarity you might say. I could say it all started back ... read more

The youngest cutter

I know that my title is a little generalized but hey. Like the start of a lot of these experiences I will simply state I'm sixteen years old and I am a cutter. Unlike most cutters though I don't remember my first cutting experience. I really don't. I remember cutting at thirteen. I know I cut before that but I don't know when it started it just comes natural. Before I start I do want to explain a couple things about who I am now. I am now proud to be a cutter. I am also a self-converted Buddhist who ... read more

Stay true

Well first off let me start by saying that this is not something for the faint of heart or someone who can't handle pain. I strongly do not recommend anyone doing this by themselves. I made a terrible mistake and I was lucky I didn't seriously affect me or any one I knew. There are serious consequences when it comes to modifying your body so be extremely careful. You only get one body; so don't screw it up by doing something stupid and reckless. When I was 14 I went through a terrible time in my life. This unfournantetly led ... read more

When is Cutting Self Injury?

I used to cut myself; it's something I've always been open about even though I'm ashamed of it, mostly because I believe it's a problem that should not just be shut away and forgotten by society. I remember feeling absolutely terrible even as I ran the knife over my arm. I felt I'd let myself down, I felt I was mutilating myself. I sought help and gradually weaned myself from it, not just by treating the cutting itself (which is just a symptom of something more troubling after all) but by improving my entire mental state and outlook. I went ... read more

Only I can Absolve my Sins

Background I'm not a Christian and I haven't been since I realized I didn't believe when I was only 9. I am however fascinated by Christianity. I spend a lot of time studying both the religion itself and different Christian cultures, the later of which interests me the most. I often discuss these topics with Christian friends of mine. A couple months ago I brought up an observation I had made. I didn't understand how Jesus could possibly die for our sins. How could punishing the only innocence individual on earth possibly have a positive benefit for the guilty? I ... read more

My Tribute to a Legend

Let me just tell you up front that it sucks being 16 and wanting a tattoo. Just imagining how my skin would look designed with the beautiful ink from a tattoo gun and knowing that that dream can't become a reality for another two years drives me crazy. Although I've never been anywhere near to getting a tattoo, my skin is the shelters a desire that makes my skin itch with a craving that words can't justly describe. So I decided that I'd have to settle for the next best thing: scarification. So this yearning for a tattoo had been ... read more

my little chunk of branded moonshine.

I guess you could say that I always had a fascination when it came to masochism, not the sexual masochism, more so the I-like-to-hurt way. Knowing this in a re modified shed on a cool summer evening with my best friend I decided to tell her about all it. You see I used to always have an obsession with stars. I'd draw them pretty violently on anything; paper, body, my shoes on a slow day at work,air, with-- anything at that; pens, pencils, macaroni,ice plants--it was an addiction. I would try to take notes in science class, but then my ... read more

extending the scars

I've been working on my leg scarification now for the past 3 years. For the first two cuttings Luis Garcia whom used to work at Infinite in Philly just did 2 separate scalpel cuttings. Man, that shit not only hurt, but what was even more scary was the amount of blood I lost each time. The first cutting I got done wasn't so bad, but the second time I thought I was gonna bleed to death. It was as if someone had stuck the proverbial pig-me. After I got cut a bunch of us went out to some club for ... read more

"Yeah Sure A Soldering Iron is exactly the same as a Cauterising Tool

Let me start by saying that this tale occurred nearly five years ago when I very first started piercing and new very little in comparison to what I do today. I had wanted three stars branded on my leg for a number of years and had been to the only place in the state at the time and had a look at the quality of work and was not impressed at all. Having done successful strike brandings on others and myself I was sure I could do a better job if only I had the correct tools. I precede to ... read more

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