By Anonymous · Aug. 14, 2004 · 0 comments
I find it strange that I am only 16 and writing about my experience of being a cutter. So young and already finding comfort through self-injury. I will start by telling what others have already told. That it is an escape, a way of calming down or blacking out. Some even as far to the point that they do not know that they are doing it until it is done. I am not one of those people. I find no escape, no calm, nothing like the above. I find clarity you might say. I could say it all started back ...
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By Anonymous · Aug. 14, 2004 · 0 comments
I know that my title is a little generalized but hey. Like the start of a lot of these experiences I will simply state I'm sixteen years old and I am a cutter. Unlike most cutters though I don't remember my first cutting experience. I really don't. I remember cutting at thirteen. I know I cut before that but I don't know when it started it just comes natural. Before I start I do want to explain a couple things about who I am now. I am now proud to be a cutter. I am also a self-converted Buddhist who ...
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By Anonymous · Aug. 14, 2004 · 0 comments
Well first off let me start by saying that this is not something for the faint of heart or someone who can't handle pain. I strongly do not recommend anyone doing this by themselves. I made a terrible mistake and I was lucky I didn't seriously affect me or any one I knew. There are serious consequences when it comes to modifying your body so be extremely careful. You only get one body; so don't screw it up by doing something stupid and reckless. When I was 14 I went through a terrible time in my life. This unfournantetly led ...
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By Anonymous · Aug. 05, 2004 · 0 comments
I've been working on my leg scarification now for the past 3 years. For the first two cuttings Luis Garcia whom used to work at Infinite in Philly just did 2 separate scalpel cuttings. Man, that shit not only hurt, but what was even more scary was the amount of blood I lost each time. The first cutting I got done wasn't so bad, but the second time I thought I was gonna bleed to death. It was as if someone had stuck the proverbial pig-me. After I got cut a bunch of us went out to some club for ...
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By Anonymous · Aug. 05, 2004 · 0 comments
I used to cut myself; it's something I've always been open about even though I'm ashamed of it, mostly because I believe it's a problem that should not just be shut away and forgotten by society. I remember feeling absolutely terrible even as I ran the knife over my arm. I felt I'd let myself down, I felt I was mutilating myself. I sought help and gradually weaned myself from it, not just by treating the cutting itself (which is just a symptom of something more troubling after all) but by improving my entire mental state and outlook. I went ...
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By Anonymous · Aug. 05, 2004 · 0 comments
Background I'm not a Christian and I haven't been since I realized I didn't believe when I was only 9. I am however fascinated by Christianity. I spend a lot of time studying both the religion itself and different Christian cultures, the later of which interests me the most. I often discuss these topics with Christian friends of mine. A couple months ago I brought up an observation I had made. I didn't understand how Jesus could possibly die for our sins. How could punishing the only innocence individual on earth possibly have a positive benefit for the guilty? I ...
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By Anonymous · Aug. 05, 2004 · 0 comments
Let me just tell you up front that it sucks being 16 and wanting a tattoo. Just imagining how my skin would look designed with the beautiful ink from a tattoo gun and knowing that that dream can't become a reality for another two years drives me crazy. Although I've never been anywhere near to getting a tattoo, my skin is the shelters a desire that makes my skin itch with a craving that words can't justly describe. So I decided that I'd have to settle for the next best thing: scarification. So this yearning for a tattoo had been ...
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By Anonymous · Aug. 05, 2004 · 0 comments
I guess you could say that I always had a fascination when it came to masochism, not the sexual masochism, more so the I-like-to-hurt way. Knowing this in a re modified shed on a cool summer evening with my best friend I decided to tell her about all it. You see I used to always have an obsession with stars. I'd draw them pretty violently on anything; paper, body, my shoes on a slow day at work,air, with-- anything at that; pens, pencils, macaroni,ice plants--it was an addiction. I would try to take notes in science class, but then my ...
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By Anonymous · July 29, 2004 · 0 comments
Let me start by saying that this tale occurred nearly five years ago when I very first started piercing and new very little in comparison to what I do today. I had wanted three stars branded on my leg for a number of years and had been to the only place in the state at the time and had a look at the quality of work and was not impressed at all. Having done successful strike brandings on others and myself I was sure I could do a better job if only I had the correct tools. I precede to ...
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By Anonymous · July 29, 2004 · 0 comments
A little bit of history might be helpful here. Since I was about eighteen, I'd wanted to receive a brand. I always had a bit of a problem with burns, though. I suppose it's something subconscious, like when I was two and pulled a pitcher of boiling tea over on my right arm and lost a bit of flesh. My whole forearm was scarred up pretty badly until I was about five or six when it started to fade. A little bit of it is still visible, but most of it is covered by tattoos. I think the first brand ...
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