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love the heat

I love fire. I was afraid of it as a child, but as I grew older and began to challenge myself to other new and frightening experiences, I decided it was time to meet flame and make a connection with it. A few years ago, in the middle of a bad relationship, I watched my lover breathe a huge fireball. In a very unsafe and exaggerated manner. But Oh! it was beautiful, billowing out of his mouth. I was hooked. I learned through friends who had been doing it more carefully-to look up into the sky and send the breath ... read more

imperfect tear perfect heart

I would have to say that the start of my experience started about 6 years ago. I was the tender age of 10 and I became a cutter. Well I had always disliked myself and it seemed to me to be the best way to release all of my emotions. Well over the next 6 years the self injury waxed and waned. Sometimes I could stop for a few months but I would eventually have something happen that would drive to cut again. Over the past few months I have been trying like crazy to get my life in order. ... read more

Adjectives Under My Skin

I had never really thought much about self-mutilation. Nor masochistic tendencies in general. The most I had ever had done was get my ears pierced a year or two back. I had been terrified. So when my friend admitted to me that she had cut herself, I was shocked. I had never known anyone who did this. It wasn't something that had ever been a part of my life. And yet.. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Things started to get rough around my household a few months later. The family was constantly feuding, a group of my ... read more

Flesh Removal Part One

My interest in scarification in general started soon after finding BME online. That point in time I was young, and though interested never even thought of knowing someone skilled enough for me to trust to do this to me. Now a few years have passed, and I can say I know a hand full of people I would trust to. Big changes have been made in my life over these past few years. Starting out how many people actually would ever imagine them selves going as far as they have. With time I've tried different experiments with scaring my self. ... read more

Discovering The True Nature Of Cutting

"Dog". That word might not mean anything to you, but to me it brings back horrid memories of being bullied at school. Because I was mainly a victim of verbal bullying (the physical stuff came later) talking to my friends didn't help at all. At that time, nobody took verbal bullying seriously. So everyday I wrote my emotions down in my diary. Everything they said, how low they made me feel. It didn't help. It just disturbed me more about how bad the situation really was.By this stage I had already began hitting myself, which I noticed helped me feel ... read more

my now awesome profile

So, I've done the piercing thing and the tattoo thing and love them both (more of a piercing person though) but was looking for something more. I had known about scarification for awhile from various sources and had always been interested in it but never really thought to do it. About 3 or 4 months ago I became more interested in it and was seriously considering having something done. I tent to be more spontaneous when it comes to piercing (probably because you can take them out, though I never have) but when it comes to tattoos or any other ... read more

I never thought...a branding for me???

I have been into body modification for almost three years now and I had never even considered branding. I had never even heard of it until I went to a rave in Toronto, and a girl there was showing me a tattoo and describing to me parts she wanted to get branded. That began to interest me, but I still never considered it for myself. I tend to get in these moods where I know I want to get some body work done, but I never know what it is. I end up going to the studio and deciding what ... read more

A razorblade kiss

I have cut on and off since I was about 13. I found it a release from the loneliness that comes from being an outsider, a social misfit, one who found it difficult to fit into any one group of people. Living where I did, I found that there were very few people exactly like me, and that got me down a lot. At times I wanted to crawl into a hole and die; I felt like everybody hated me for who I was. As well as being for the release, I quickly grew to like the feel of cutting, ... read more

A mark in the flesh, like a mark in my soul.

Well to start, I have to say I'm defiantly NOT a cutter... now like every story there's a beginning a middle and an end. My beginning starts about 8 months ago. My girlfriend and I had finally renounced for the last time, ending a long drawn-out break up, which lasted two years. It was honestly one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. I'm not a "feeling sorry for myself" kind of guy. I often don't have time to worry about the bad things I move on very easily. This time I couldn't. As I move on to the ... read more

Young Cutting

I find it strange that I am only 16 and writing about my experience of being a cutter. So young and already finding comfort through self-injury. I will start by telling what others have already told. That it is an escape, a way of calming down or blacking out. Some even as far to the point that they do not know that they are doing it until it is done. I am not one of those people. I find no escape, no calm, nothing like the above. I find clarity you might say. I could say it all started back ... read more

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